Parent of the Year, I am Not

It's just a matter of simple math......


Baby swing set to high speed
+ Hard plastic baby spoon clutched in Tai's fist
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Baby's first black eye

It's All About Timing

Anyone knows that the key to comedy is timing. And nobody seems to know this better than Tai. His comedic instinct became apparent during our trip to Texas. Friday evening, our plane had not been off the ground 10 minutes when he took a nice big poop. Unaware of the presence of a changing table in the plane's bathroom (we found out about that much later) we opted to change him right there at our seat. Luckily we were in a row of three seats, one of which was empty. (If anyone out there needs a reason to breastfeed, this type of situation would have been MUCH more embarrassing with stinky formula-poop).

After Tai and I skipped out on the first of three (yes, three!) wedding ceremonies on Sunday, we caught up with Minh and his family in the hotel conference room for the second event of the day. Tai was dressed up in his little khaki pants and sweater-vest and spent a good 45 minutes being held, kissed, and photographed by everyone in Minh's extended family. Then we all took our seats so that the Vietnamese wedding ceremony could begin. And Tai took another big shit. So, back up to the hotel room we went. And by the time we came back down, the short-and-sweet ceremony was over. He and I were batting 0 for 2 with wedding ceremonies.

This morning he took his comedy to a whole new level. We were due to be taken to the airport by a car service at 7:15am. So I was giving Tai a "last call" on milk in the lobby at about 7:05 when it happened again. That unmistakable noise emanated from his bottom and that oh-so-satisfied look spread across his face. Off to the lobby bathroom we went. I laid him out on this fancy glass table (hey, that's what they get for not providing a changing table!) and opened is diaper and found....nothing. And I swear he laughed when he saw the look on my face. He hasn't fooled me like that in months. I have a good ear and can always tell a poop from a fart. He must have worked really hard to make this one sound authentic.

So I closed him back up and we headed to the airport. Two hours later, and 15 minutes after take-off, you guessed it. The real deal this time. Once again we were fortunate to not be sitting with anyone else and we changed him right there. Again, I was thankful for the nearly-odorless breast milk poo. An hour later when Minh went to pee, he noticed a large changing table suspended over the toilet in the lavatory. Oh well, now we know for next time.

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PS - For the record, Tai was truly amazing during the whole trip. He was calm and quiet for almost all of the 6 hours he spent in airplanes. And he was in good spirits at the rehearsal dinner and the wedding(s), despite being kept up way past his bedtime. Several people actually had to ask us if he EVER cries. We're so proud of him.

Separate Vacations

Minh, Tai, and I will be spending Memorial Day Weekend in Texas. Not by choice, not really. We have a wedding to go to. Otherwise, Dallas would never have made it onto our list of must-see vacation spots. Alaska? yes. Australia? yes. Viet Nam? yes. Dallas? not a chance. But here we are, preparing to visit the state with which you don't mess, or so they say. Most unfortunate is that this trip to a red state will be forever immortalized in Tai's baby book under the heading "first plane trip." The poor kid has to take his first vacation to Bush's home state.


Buttons, on the other hand, will be vacationing on beautiful Cape Cod this weekend with her dear friend Arrow. What with the R-I-D-E in the C-A-R and the long walks on the beach and ample opportunities to swim, she's going to have the time of her life. I just hope she behaves herself.


The kitties, homebodies that they are, will be holding down the fort in South Hadley and will be tended to by a feline-loving neighbor. For them, vacation is not about going somewhere exotic. It's about having the house all to themselves and being over-fed by the cat sitter.


We will all reunite next week and exchange vacation stories. I'm already looking forward to it.

A Rare Sighting

Once in a while, when the moon and the stars are aligned just right, and the chins and the cheeks are positioned just so, you can catch a fleeting glimpse of Tai's neck. I know it exists, for I saw it tonight.

Has Anyone Seen My Nipple?

Oh, that's right, lots of people have.

As I mentioned, last week Minh and Tai and I were the featured guests at a breastfeeding class. Despite being up past his bedtime and having to "perform" in front of an audience, Tai did a great job. All the women in the class gathered 'round to watch Tai demonstrate the proper way to latch on. For some reason, the men in the class hung back. Not sure why--maybe Minh shot them a quick "don't look at my wife's nipple" glare :)

We had fun answering their questions about giving birth, breastfeeding, pumping, etc. I think it was useful for them. And it was fun to see all those pregnant bellies and have everyone's face light up when we walked in with Tai.

We plan to do it again at the end of the month.

Beautiful Bulbs

Pictures cannot do it justice. I, of course, cannot get a picture of all 1200 bulbs. They, of course, did not bloom all at once. The crocuses are gone and even some of the daffodils have already passed. That said, here are a few pics to give you an idea of what it looks like around here:

First, here is our mailbox garden. There are supposed to be red tulips as well, but they did not do so well this year.

Next, the front of the house. The garden to the left of the door already existed but we added new bulbs. All the flowers to the right of the door are new this year.

Finally, the back woods. This is really hard to capture with the camera, but we have about 8 different clumps of daffodils scattered along our woodland path. (If you click on the pictures you can make them bigger to see the flowers better).

The Bar Has Been Set

Since Mother's Day comes before Father's Day, the pressure was on Minh to "set the bar" for gift-giving. I made it pretty clear that I expected some type of acknowledgement, but that he could decide whether to keep it simple (just a card) or do something fancier.

He, of course, spent the past few weeks making sure my expectations were nice and low. Each mention of Mother's Day was met with jokes like "oh, is that coming up?" and "do I have to get you something?" Funny, funny man.

When I woke up Sunday morning and found a card and small, gift-wrapped box on the kitchen counter I was immediately moved to tears. It didn't matter what was in the box....just that he did something. The card was perfect--a funny one, not all flowery and poetic. And his note inside was obviously written with thought and care. But imagine my complete and utter surprise when I discovered that the gift box contained channel-set diamond hoop earrings. Holy crap!

The day itself was really wonderful. Tai and I walked around Smith College while Minh did about an hour of work. Then we all went out to lunch and stopped for coffee and a cookie (and some milk for Tai) on the way home. It was really fun spending time as a family of three outside of the house and not at Costco.

The bar has indeed been set quite high. Now I have about a month to figure out how to reciprocate. I have only two ideas thus far -- one that costs MUCH less than my earrings and one that costs MUCH more. The much more one ain't gonna happen, I'll tell you that. I know it's not all about price and it's the thought that counts and all that crap, but Minh really did put alot of thought (and money!) into this gift so now the pressure's on to come up with something that he'll enjoy as much as I enjoyed my card, gift, and family outing.

Lessons Learned From Last Night's Dinner

1. Simmering cauliflower smells a lot like rotting garbage. Thankfully, it tastes better than it smells.

2. It is indeed possible to cook chicken over low heat in a crock-pot, with liquids, and still have it come out as dry and crumbly as wood shavings.

3. At this point in our lives, we'll eat pretty much anything.

All Things Hippy-Dippy

For those of you who don't know, the confluence of two factors in our lives has caused us to become all Pioneer Valley Hippy-Dippy. Specifically, Minh's new-found love of gardening and our recent foray into the sub-culture of natural childbirth worked together to make us decide to save, and plant, Tai's placenta.

Last night we purchased The Placenta Tree. It's a variety of Japanese Maple that will eventually be 6-10 feet tall. Right now it's only about 3 feet tall and very adorable in a Charlie-Brown-Christmas-Tree kind of way.

The placenta, of course, has been residing in our freezer since December. Our intention is to bury the placenta in the yard and then plant Tai's tree just next to it. The sentimentality behind it is that the placenta nourished Tai for 9 months and now it will nourish the tree. And that this one tree in our yard will always be "Tai's tree" and we can watch it grow as he grows. It doesn't hurt, either, that I've always wanted a Japanese Maple and that Minh is always searching for rich sources of Nitrogen for his garden :)

We're not quite ready to plant it yet, but we should be getting to that in the next month or so. Until then, the tree will live in its bucket, on the spot where it will eventually go (kind of like putting the goldfish in the bowl, but keeping it in the plastic bag for a while). The placenta will remain in the freezer until the big day. I'll post a picture of the tree once it's in the ground.

In other hippy-dippy news, we've somehow made friends with a local Lactation Consultant (yup, that's her job. She pretty much does what you'd imagine a Lactation Consultant would do, including teach breastfeeding classes at the hospital). Anyway, she has asked Minh and Tai and I to come to her next class to answer questions about breastfeeding and also give a live demo (assuming Tai is hungry). I'm pretty excited about it!! Breastfeeding (especially at first) is not as easy as you might think and I'm looking forward to sharing my experience with folks and giving them tips to help them succeed. I'm such a dork.

PS -- Coming Soon....pictures of bulbs in bloom!