Nuk Free

Tai has slept the past THREE nights with no nuk and we’re so proud of him. After the three of us had a lovely night out together, Friday night came to a horrible close with the expected (but still heartbreaking) crying and yelling.

He's smart, I'll give him that. He'd yell anything he thought would get me to open his bedroom door. "I need a song!" "I want someone to rub my back!" "I need someone to put the covers on me!" Each time I caved and opened the door, he immediately changed his chant to "I need nukkie!**" and several times claimed he was going to go into Quynh's room and take them back from her.

So I held the door shut until he screamed himself hoarse a-la Sam Kinison playing the Trump Card, "I need to go pee pee!!!" Finally, I let him go use the potty. The screaming stopped but he was crying so hard he could barely breathe. And he now directed his anger toward his sister, who was sleeping mere feet from the bathroom, with a dozen nuks in her crib. “I don’t like Quynh anymore. I want to put her outside this house! I don’t want her in this family!”

I put him back in his room and (at his request) took off his PJs. Then I resumed my post, holding his door shut and feeling awful about it. He banged on the door, cried, and yelled requests for the nuk, as well as, "I don't want this pull-up on!" Finally, after about 10 more minutes of crying, there was silence. He had, presumably, fallen asleep on his floor.

At 6am the next morning he came out of his room pleasant-as-can-be and buck naked, and asked, "Mama, is it OK if I sleep naked?"

Saturday night Minh put Tai to bed and there were some weepy requests for the nuk. After an extended bedtime that included stories, deep breaths, and a song, Tai did not come out of his room after being tucked in. Sunday night he didn't even request he nuk. He seemed a little unsettled as I prepared to leave the room, but he didn't come out and went right to sleep. We seem to be through the worst of it.

Sadly, this seems to have been the end of napping, but I think the exhaustion has been helping him fall asleep at bedtime, so I'll take it.




** Incidentally, Minh wondered out loud if he ought to try screaming and crying the next time he wants nookie.

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Distract 'Em

Friday night is the big night. No more nuks for Tai. Ever. No backing down. It's marked on the calendar and everyone knows the plan -- Tai, his grandparents, his teachers, even Quynh.

We picked this weekend for a number of reasons, including the fact that we happened to have playdates and family visits to distract Tai from the withdrawal he will, no doubt, experience.

Additionally, we've actually scheduled a pre-trauma distraction. Friday night we have a sitter for Quynh and we're taking Tai out to dinner and a show. It's something he's been wanting to do anyway, so we figured we'd use it as a pre-reward. A celebration of his Big Boy-ness, if you will. If fire dancing, drums, and greasy Chinese food don't take your mind off your worries, then I don't know what will. This will also cause him to stay up past his usual bedtime, which we hope means exhaustion and the ability to fall asleep without the nuk.

Despite all this over-preparation, I'm sure there will be be tears. And probably bargaining. And rationalizing. And yelling. But hopefully after a few days it will fade and we'll move on peacefully. (Until we have to do this all over again with Quynh. I sure hope she likes hula dancing.).

The Countdown

Tai will be giving his nuks to his sister in FOUR DAYS.

A Post That's Not About My Kids

I'm about halfway through a book that's neither particularly engrossing nor painfully boring. I had no idea what it was about when I started it and the first section was actually pretty entertaining. It has had some funny moments and for a few pages I thought it might turn into a murder mystery. But now I'm starting to fear that this book might actually be Not Good.

So why do I continue to read it? Because I have to. I joined a book club and the first meeting is in 2 weeks. Now I'm stressed out that I won't finish it in time or that I'll finish it, but have nothing to say about it other than, "It was pretty good" or, "I didn't like it."

I've turned down book club invites before because of these two fears. I am a slow reader so I knew Book Club Deadlines would create stress, for me. And I always figured that at book club meetings you have to say something insightful to show that you really understood the Deeper Meaning of the text. Something that makes all the others in the club go, "Ahhhhhh." I know alot about book club meetings because I've seen The Cosby Show and Still Standing. In both cases, I believe the fear was that the husband would embarrass the wife in front of her book club. But the dudes always pull through in the end.

So why did I accept this invitation? Maybe because the club is being started by two of my good friends, whom I don't get to see very often. (And who I didn't even think liked each other that much, but now they're starting a book club together. Go figure.) Or maybe because I liked the idea of having a break from kiddo bedtime, getting out of the house once in a while, and drinking wine with some other women. (There will be wine, right? On TV there is always wine.)

So here I sit, ambivalent about my situation. Last night it was 9:30pm by the time I was done with all the parenting, dish-washing, lunch-packing, and laundry-folding. I grabbed my book and was heading toward my reading chair when I realized I didn't want to read. I wanted to flop down on the couch next to my husband and watch my new favorite show. So I did.

I have to go now, I should be reading.

Favorite Shirt -- The Next Episode

And Then There Were Eight

Last weekend we camped with our old college friends and long-time camping buddies, Jake & Dianna. Back in the day, when we were in our early twenties and childless the four of us would all share one tent, one stove, and one lantern. We'd spend half of our time taking long, strenuous hikes that led past waterfalls to amazing vistas and the other half either napping or playing cards. Ah, to relax for a weekend in the woods.

But this time there were not four of us, but eight. Since the last time we camped together, we've produced a total of four children. On this trip there were two stoves, three lanterns, two picnic tables, four cell phones, two GPSs, a house-sized tent and a pop-up camper. And no relaxation.

There was still hiking--I think we did a whole mile on the relatively flat "nature trail" before Tai fell apart. And, honestly, with the extra 25 lbs strapped to my back I was about done after that too. But we did manage to help Tai find his first geocache. He's been proudly telling everyone that we "found a treasure box!"

And there was still card-playing. Tai now knows how to play Go Fish. Come to think of it, there was still napping too. After a failed attempt to get any of the toddler/preschooler crowd to settle down for a nap, we took them to the beach while Minh and Quynh snoozed the afternoon away.

There were also several new activities we never used to do while camping, such as: sand-castle-building, tag-playing, diaper changing, and attending the Bird Show put on by the Department of Recreation and Conservation. Sadly, they seem to have used the words "bird" and "show" very loosely. We spent a full hour listening to a Bird Fanatic describe in excruciating detail the different types of beaks, feet, and wings of about 25 different types of birds. With each description he wore a different hand-made bird mask. There were no actual birds at said Bird Show. Just paper mache.

Quynh was not too sure about the whole camping thing when we first arrived. She kept tripping on the uneven ground and complaining when we were too busy setting up the tent to play with her. Then we had the nerve to tell her not to eat any rocks or pine cones. But she soon found her Campground Legs and started having good time (and sneaking Rock Snacks when no one was looking). For her, the highlight of the trip seemed to be the simple act of strolling along the (paved) campground roads and waving and calling to all the other children we passed. Unlike her brother ("I'm feeling shy") she walked right into other people's sites and made new friends.

For Tai, the highlight might have been seeing a real live ice cream truck for the first time. On our walk over to the Bird Show, we heard the unmistakable tinkling of Ice Cream Truck Music. Tai's eyes lit up and he asked, "Can we get something from the ice cream truck?" Of course we indulged him. Jake asked Tai what he wanted off the truck and Tai replied with his standard order of "chocolate ice cream". He was then only a little confused to be told that the ice cream truck does not sell actual ice cream, only sugary-frozen-popsicle-thingys. He was easily persuaded to try a SpiderMan Pop.

The trip was a success. An exhausting success. Despite all the work and the long-gone days of playing scrabble all afternoon, I am looking forward to another trip in August.