I have two children, one of whom I enjoy spending time with inside the house and the other I enjoy taking on outings. Is that bad?
Now that Tai is four, I am really enjoying doing lots of activities with him. I've taken him to concerts and plays, we've gone hiking with the dog, and I love to walk around the neighborhood while he zooms past me on his bike. Inside the house is a different story. He only seems interested in imaginative play, and only if I'm right there imagining with him. It's gotten to the point where I dread Sunday mornings in our playroom. I truly do not have the energy or desire to play "oceans" or "dinosaurs" or "kitties" or "Shrek" because they all involve me crawling around on the ground, reciting the specific dialog that Tai has just "written," and usually fighting off the attacks of some sort of creature. It's downright exhausting.
Quynh, simply because of her age, is not quite ready for many of the outings Tai enjoys. She became unbearably fidgety half way through the circus and I wouldn't even try to make her sit through a production of The Sound of Music. She has come on some hikes, but either needs to be carried or wants to walk at her (understandably) slow toddler pace. None of this is her fault--she's not even two yet. But at home (both inside and out) she is generally delightful and easy to play with. Playing with Quynh really just means sitting near her and watching her play. She likes to draw with crayons, markers, or chalk, sculpt with play-dough, build towers with blocks, and swaddle her baby dolls. She also loves to cook and serve imaginary food. She brings me cup after cup of hot cocoa and all I have to do is pretend to drink it and smile. I get to sit back, relax and enjoy watching her have fun.
Of course, I love both my kids immensely. But basically, I am just lazy, I guess. Somehow I usually have the energy for a hike or a game of hide-n-seek or a trip to the playground, but I find it mentally and physically draining to pretend I'm a T-Rex or operate a princess hand-puppet. Is that weird? It was the same way with Buttons when she was a puppy too. I'd take her on long walks and challenging hikes nearly every day. But when we were at home I had no desire to play fetch or tug-of-war with her doggie toys. (Yes, I just likened my kid to a puppy).
Good thing I have two kids -- one for inside and one for out.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Movin' On Up. Or Not. I Dunno.
Tai starts kindergarten in approximately 16 months. Therefore it is time for the Parental Kindergarten Freak-Out. What should we do? Where should we send him? Public? Private? Charter? School Choice? Should we *gasp* move to a different district?
Having grown up in Simpler Times, when everyone but the devout Catholics and the extremely rich attended the neighborhood school, and having recently seen other parents go through the Freak-Out, I've always wanted to be that family that sends their kid to the local public school and doesn't sweat it. He's a smart kid and our public school district is actually not that bad (though not exactly top-notch either).
Sadly, I've spent the past month or so coming to grips with the fact that I am indeed One of Those Parents who will explore every option, tour multiple schools, and even consider leaving the house that I love and moving to a better school district.
Part of me still wants to just sit tight and send him to the local school. I think it will be fine. But then part of me wonders why on Earth anyone would settle for "fine" when it comes to their child's education. A long time ago a friend explained to me the he checked the consumer reports website on infant car seats and then proceeded to buy the #1 safety rated seat, even though it was very expensive and about 3lbs heavier than the others. He put it to me like this, "How could anyone buy a 'less safe' car seat for their newborn baby?" (Of course, I had already reviewed the same consumer reports page and elected to buy a different seat for my Expected Bundle of Joy.) But now I'm feeling the same way about education. Why wouldn't we give our kids the very best we can afford?
That brings me to the topic of money. Private schools cost money. Though, surprisingly, some of them actually cost less than what we currently pay for daycare. So when you think about it that way, we could actually afford it. But my gut, way down deep inside, is still anti-private school. Additionally, it's looking like it might actually cost us less, per month, to pay a larger mortgage and higher taxes in order to access a better public school district than it would to stay put and send the kids to private school. This would also allow my kids to have what I still think of as the more "normal" experience where they ride the bus to the same local school that the neighbors attend, rather than being chauffeured to a school three towns away by me or Minh. (Of course, I realize times are a-changin' and tons of kids around here are indeed attending private or charter schools in other towns.)
Even though I truly love my house and neighborhood, at this moment,* I'm feeling like I'd actually rather move and spend my money on taxes to an excellent school district than give money to a rich private school.
*It should go without saying that the Freak-Out Process is long and tumultuous. Look forward to additional posts in which I contradict everything I've said here.*
Having grown up in Simpler Times, when everyone but the devout Catholics and the extremely rich attended the neighborhood school, and having recently seen other parents go through the Freak-Out, I've always wanted to be that family that sends their kid to the local public school and doesn't sweat it. He's a smart kid and our public school district is actually not that bad (though not exactly top-notch either).
Sadly, I've spent the past month or so coming to grips with the fact that I am indeed One of Those Parents who will explore every option, tour multiple schools, and even consider leaving the house that I love and moving to a better school district.
Part of me still wants to just sit tight and send him to the local school. I think it will be fine. But then part of me wonders why on Earth anyone would settle for "fine" when it comes to their child's education. A long time ago a friend explained to me the he checked the consumer reports website on infant car seats and then proceeded to buy the #1 safety rated seat, even though it was very expensive and about 3lbs heavier than the others. He put it to me like this, "How could anyone buy a 'less safe' car seat for their newborn baby?" (Of course, I had already reviewed the same consumer reports page and elected to buy a different seat for my Expected Bundle of Joy.) But now I'm feeling the same way about education. Why wouldn't we give our kids the very best we can afford?
That brings me to the topic of money. Private schools cost money. Though, surprisingly, some of them actually cost less than what we currently pay for daycare. So when you think about it that way, we could actually afford it. But my gut, way down deep inside, is still anti-private school. Additionally, it's looking like it might actually cost us less, per month, to pay a larger mortgage and higher taxes in order to access a better public school district than it would to stay put and send the kids to private school. This would also allow my kids to have what I still think of as the more "normal" experience where they ride the bus to the same local school that the neighbors attend, rather than being chauffeured to a school three towns away by me or Minh. (Of course, I realize times are a-changin' and tons of kids around here are indeed attending private or charter schools in other towns.)
Even though I truly love my house and neighborhood, at this moment,* I'm feeling like I'd actually rather move and spend my money on taxes to an excellent school district than give money to a rich private school.
*It should go without saying that the Freak-Out Process is long and tumultuous. Look forward to additional posts in which I contradict everything I've said here.*
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Reading Between The Lines
We had Quynh's spring parent-teacher conference yesterday. It's always nice to hear how lovely your child is and see photos and videos of them having fun at school. And if you listen carefully you can often glean some interesting information. For example:
"Quynh's young age and small stature are no obstacle for her. She asserts herself well."
She yells when other kids try to take her toys.
"She can be very focused on a game and particular about how it is to be played."
She's a tad OCD.
"Quynh and [her friend] are very close, but they do have conflicts, as most close friends do."
They fight over toys.
"She is fastidious about hand washing, sometimes soaping and rinsing over and over and over again."
She's perhaps more than just a tad OCD.
"She's very good at falling, she knows how to tuck and roll."
She's clumsy.
"When she plays with blocks she lines them up very carefully in one direction and then turns them around to face the other way. She also does this with chairs and other furniture around the classroom."
Practically an official OCD diagnosis.
In all seriousness, we were thrilled to hear that Quynh is making friends, following routines, learning new things, and thoroughly enjoying herself at school.
"Quynh's young age and small stature are no obstacle for her. She asserts herself well."
She yells when other kids try to take her toys.
"She can be very focused on a game and particular about how it is to be played."
She's a tad OCD.
"Quynh and [her friend] are very close, but they do have conflicts, as most close friends do."
They fight over toys.
"She is fastidious about hand washing, sometimes soaping and rinsing over and over and over again."
She's perhaps more than just a tad OCD.
"She's very good at falling, she knows how to tuck and roll."
She's clumsy.
"When she plays with blocks she lines them up very carefully in one direction and then turns them around to face the other way. She also does this with chairs and other furniture around the classroom."
Practically an official OCD diagnosis.
In all seriousness, we were thrilled to hear that Quynh is making friends, following routines, learning new things, and thoroughly enjoying herself at school.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Circus Notes
If you let him run around a playground with several of his good friends for 2 solid hours, Tai will actually manage to nap in the car on the way to Boston.
Even a small city like Boston is downright thrilling to a four year old. ("Look! Skyscrapers!" as he points out the dorms around BU's Nickerson Field)
Music, lights, and acrobats (and popcorn) can hold Quynh's attention for a solid hour.
Quynh can eat her weight in popcorn.
Contortionists are really interesting for about 5 minutes. And then it just gets creepy, and a tad boring.
Quynh is too young to appreciate the clown acts. Several times during one part she turned to me and said, "all done man" as if I had the power to remove the clown from the ring and switch to a more thrilling act. This ain't The Gong Show, honey.
Tai, however, is at exactly the right age for slapstick clown humor. While Quynh was yawning, Tai was cackling.
Walking through Faneuil Hall with a headstrong toddler and a pre-schooler who won't break character in his role as velociraptor (complete with growling at strangers) is MUCH easier when you have two extra adults with you (Thanks J and E for coming with!)
I didn't get to see it, but apparently a living statue startled Quynh in a hilariously Funniest-Home-Videos kind of way. Later, I tried to get her to sit next to an actual statue and she was wary as hell, waiting for it to move. Someday she'll be on a therapist's couch working through her seemingly unnatural fear of statues.
Afternoon nap + Circus fun + large amounts of chocolate cake = Tai stayed awake in the car until we were 15 minutes from home. I think he was up until close to 10pm. This morning we wished his teachers the best of luck and high-tailed it out of there.
Even a small city like Boston is downright thrilling to a four year old. ("Look! Skyscrapers!" as he points out the dorms around BU's Nickerson Field)
Music, lights, and acrobats (and popcorn) can hold Quynh's attention for a solid hour.
Quynh can eat her weight in popcorn.
Contortionists are really interesting for about 5 minutes. And then it just gets creepy, and a tad boring.
Quynh is too young to appreciate the clown acts. Several times during one part she turned to me and said, "all done man" as if I had the power to remove the clown from the ring and switch to a more thrilling act. This ain't The Gong Show, honey.
Tai, however, is at exactly the right age for slapstick clown humor. While Quynh was yawning, Tai was cackling.
Walking through Faneuil Hall with a headstrong toddler and a pre-schooler who won't break character in his role as velociraptor (complete with growling at strangers) is MUCH easier when you have two extra adults with you (Thanks J and E for coming with!)
I didn't get to see it, but apparently a living statue startled Quynh in a hilariously Funniest-Home-Videos kind of way. Later, I tried to get her to sit next to an actual statue and she was wary as hell, waiting for it to move. Someday she'll be on a therapist's couch working through her seemingly unnatural fear of statues.
Afternoon nap + Circus fun + large amounts of chocolate cake = Tai stayed awake in the car until we were 15 minutes from home. I think he was up until close to 10pm. This morning we wished his teachers the best of luck and high-tailed it out of there.
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