Quynh's Birth Story

I've had two children and two unmedicated births. But I can only take "credit" for the first one. Quynh's birth was so fast that they wouldn't have given me an epidural even if I had bribed the anesthesiologist. Still, her story will be told.

On May 27th, I tucked Tai into bed and said, "stay in your room until your night light turns off" instead of "come find me when your night light turns off" because I had a feeling I might not be home at 6:30 the next morning.

8pm: Minh and I sat down to watch a movie. I was having some short, mild contractions. Not unlike what I had off and on for the previous months. Still, I wondered if I might be going into labor, as I watched a woman die during childbirth in the opening scene of Benjamin Buttons. (Not the best movie choice for the occasion, in retrospect).

11pm: We finished the movie, which ends with a baby dying (again, not the best film choice that night). At this point I was pretty sure I was in labor, though Minh was still not convinced. We discussed possibly needing to call someone to come stay with Tai, but Minh figured we wouldn't need to leave for the hospital until after breakfast the next morning. I disagreed and, in preparation for a long night, I ate a giant bowl of Cheerios and went to lay down and rest.

11:30pm: I got back up, certain I was in labor. Spent a few minutes convincing my husband of this fact. Next I called the doula to warn her that she too was in for a long, sleepless night. Then I got down to serious business -- washing dishes, changing the sheets on our bed, packing Tai's lunch for the next day, and ordering Minh around. Minh, finally convinced this was the real deal, ate a bowl of instant noodles and then opened up the Bradley Natural Childbirth book and began cramming for the final exam.

12:00am: Minh arranged for our friend Scott to come stay in our bed and take care of Tai in the morning. Then he called the doctor and described the nature and frequency of my contractions. They suggested I stay home a bit longer. Minh dutifully relayed this information to me and then promptly called the doctor back and told them that his wife said we are going to the hospital NOW.

12:45am: Scott arrived and greeted me with a big smile and a "hey, how ya doin'?" (Seriously? Men, I swear.) Minh gave Scott all the necessary instructions and we pulled out of the driveway around 1am. I rode the whole way to the hospital with my eyes closed (partially because I was trying to relax, but mostly because I was scared to see how fast Minh was driving.)

1:20am: We arrived at the hospital (in record time) and Minh endured 4 contractions on the way from the car to the childbirth center. Yes, Minh endured them. For him, this meant letting me throw all my body weight on him and moan and groan, in public, while he was holding two duffel bags, two pillows, and trying to act casual. The folks smoking their cigarettes in the parking lot outside the ER gave us funny looks, I think. But seriously, Minh was a rock star of a hubby during all this, making sure I had whatever I needed. He didn't even piss me off by cracking a stupid joke (this time).

1:40 am: I received the most wonderful news--that I was 9.5 cm along and could pretty much push right away.

1:45am - 2:55am: Lots of messy details no one needs. A grouchy OB, a wonderful husband, a helpful doula, and I somehow managed to get Quynh born. There was yelling and swearing as I attempted to educate the OB on my pioneer valley hippy-dippy views about unmedicated birth while giving birth. And then we forgot to ask for the placenta until after they had cleaned up the room and our doula went running out into the hallway to track it down. The folks at that hospital undoubtedly think we are truly weird.

7:30am: I talked to Scott and learned that, upon waking and finding him in our bed, Tai burst out with laughter. We had been worried that it would be traumatic for him to see someone else in our place, but apparently not. Minh then began to wonder if perhaps that was not the first time Tai has seen Scott in our bed. But Quynh looks decidedly Vietnamese, so no paternity tests have been ordered.

Friday May 30th: As we headed home as a family of four, we stopped at the nurses' station to say goodbye. They said, "come see us again sometime" and Minh promptly replied "hell no!" We are done. This will be the last birth story I write.

All About Tai

Yes, Quynh is a major topic of conversation these days, but I cannot neglect to share all the wonderful Tai stories of the moment. First, to answer everyone's most pressing question these days, Tai is a fantastic big brother and is very sweet with Quynh. He's less sweet with me and Minh--frequently testing limits and throwing tantrums. But he's wonderful with his sister. Some of his favorite activities these days are:

(1) picking out an outfit for Quynh to wear
(2) petting Quynh on the head and holding her hand
(3) winding up her mobile and turning on her swing

The other day on the way home with both kids in the car, Quynh started crying pretty hard. Tai immediately started saying, "It's OK Quynh. We're almost home. Getting closer and closer." it was so sweet I almost melted.

Tai was fascinated with breastfeeding.....until he saw me pump. Now that is his current obsession. I often find my pump bag open with various parts strewn on the floor -- evidence that Tai was "pumping" without me. Last night at dinner he actually got in trouble for playing with his food -- he was pumping by shoving a hamburger roll up under his shirt. And here's a typical Saturday morning conversation:

T: Mama, can we pump now?
K: Yes
T: I'll set up the pumper!!!

But Tai's whole life does not revolve around his sister. He's still going to school 4 days a week and comes home with lots of stories about climbing, swimming, and playing with the other toddlers and even the pre-schoolers. He does appear to be 2 going on 14, however. His new favorite answer to most questions is "nothing" (pronounced "nuffin"). What did you do at school today? nuffin. What did you eat for lunch? nuffin. Who should walk Buttons this afternoon? nuffin.

Puzzles are his new favorite toy. And not those really easy baby puzzles, either. Real jigsaw puzzles. He has one of a farm that he does at least 3 times a day. Faster and faster each time. And when you sit down to do it with him he usually reminds you, "you have to start with the edges."

Finally, the fascination with trucks, construction equipment, and power tools continues, but is now matched by a concurrent obsession with dresses and tights. He's asked for tights a few times now and when we tell him we don't have any he asks us to buy him some. We may just have to. For dresses, size 4T t-shirts have sufficed this far. He likes to twirl around in them. But we are headed to a wedding in September and Tai has already requested that "mama wear a long dress and Tai can wear a long dress and we can dance!" So, for those of you who will be at that wedding, be prepared to see Tai in a dress and tights....with a HUGE smile on his face.

The First Month

Now that we have finished watching all five seasons of The Wire, I'll have my evenings free to do other things, like (a) housework, (b) sleep, or (c) blog. Try to control your excitement.

Quynh is already a month old, which means my leave is 1/3 over already. Time flies when you are parenting TWO kids. During the past month, I've learned alot about who Quynh is as a baby and how I've changed as a mother since Tai was born. Because everyone loves a numbered list.....

#1 Quynh is most happy sleeping on her tummy or her side (shhhhhh...don't tell! Minh even suggested we shave the hair off the back of her head so that the doctor thinks we always make her sleep on her back.)

#2 Quynh loves her daddy. Although I was predisposed to think any "smiles" at this point were still the result of gas, it does appear that she smiles in direct response to her daddy rubbing her head and playing silly games with her.

#3 I am sooooo laid back this time around (see item #1 above). I didn't even realize how laid back I am (or how uptight I was the first time) until I went to the hospital's New Parent Group and heard them all freaking out about how many hours to wait to nurse after having a cup of coffee (um, 5 minutes?) or what to do when the swaddle blanket gets dangerously close to the baby's nose and threatens to suffocate them (umm......nothing). It's adorable, really. They all seem so nervous to me. But last time around I fit right in, so I must have been that nervous too. This time I just lack the time or energy to worry that much.

#4 In some ways, we're more exhausted this time around. Taking care of Tai and household chores on top of infant care and (in Minh's case) work is pretty nuts. But in other ways we're not. I mean, Tai's been waking me up at 6am for as long as I can remember anyway. So it's not like we were snoozing till 10am on weekends before Quynh came along.

Overall, we're getting along just fine. Though it would be very handy if the second kid came with a third adult. Sometimes we just need an extra pair of hands.

Number Two

Quynh Mai Ly was born on Thursday, May 28th, 2009 at 2:55am. She weighed-in at 7lbs 4oz.

No, you are not seeing double and I did not have twins. I just thought this was a good spot to showcase Tai and Quynh's "home from the hospital" pictures side by side. Quynh is on the left and Tai is on the right.

LEFT-overs

A couple months ago, we ordered Tai a table and four chairs for his new playroom.  Once the room was all done, Tai and Minh set to work assembling the furniture.  Adorably, they sat together on the living room floor and put together the table and three chairs, but the fourth chair could not be fully assembled, because it came with two front left legs (and no right right leg).  Luckily, Tai accepted the explanation that we needed to get a different part before we could use the blue chair.  Being just one kid, he was happy to have just the three chairs for a while.

I went online to the company's handy-dandy replacement part ordering website and ordered up a front-right-blue chair leg.  I triple checked the part number and hit submit.  Within a week, a package arrived.  It was another left leg.

So this time I called and spoke to a real person and explained which part we needed and gave her the part number.  Despite my being certain what is left and what is right, she suggested that I was mixing up parts 11 and 12 and decided to go ahead and send me both, just in case.  Within a week, another package arrived--this time containing both a left and a right leg.  So we now have one complete blue chair and two extra left legs.       

Then, a couple weeks ago, we made our first pilgrimage to the Promised Land of Inexpensive Furniture (IKEA) and bought, among other things, this for the playroom.  Finally, we thought, the playroom will be complete.  Not so.  The very first box Minh opened up, containing the centerpiece of the vast "storage system," included -- are you ready for it? -- two left walls.  No joke.  

After talking with the national IKEA customer service center, and the local store, Minh got them to agree to send us the missing part (originally they wanted us to drive our butts 1.5 hours to New Haven to pick it up).  Within a week, a package arrived.  Do I have to tell you what was in it?  Of course, it was another left-hand wall.  So, Minh called them back and explained the (still comical at this point) problem and they apologized and rush-ordered us another delivery.  This time, the package arrived in just 3 days.  Another left-hand wall.  

Seriously.  I could not make this up if I tried.

We have a call in to IKEA and are waiting to hear back.  We can only hope that they'll get it right this time.  And quickly.  If you know how Minh nests before babies arrive, you know it's killing him that we cannot finish organizing the playroom because of this one missing piece.   

Our house is now littered with extraneous left-hand parts.  If this keeps up much longer, we'll be ready to open our own children's furniture store.

Toddler Crack

I'm not sure what that put in the food at McDonald's, but it sure makes Tai happy and pleasant to be around.

This past weekend, after a trip to Home Depot to return the heavy machinery that Minh could not resist renting, we stopped at McDonald's for an afternoon snack.  Although he initially requested mac-n-cheese, Tai was really very pleased with his Happy Meal of McNuggets, apple slices, and chocolate milk.   He also scammed a few fries off our tray, of course.  What's not to like about a meal that involves three (!) dipping sauces (ketchup for the fries, sweet-n-sour for the nuggets, and caramel for the apples)?

Now, we've been to this particular McDonald's once before and learned (the hard way) that Tai cannot focus on his food if we sit in the room with the indoor play structure.  Thinking we were being slick, Minh went and grabbed a high chair out of that "kids room" and brought it into the main part of the restaurant.  While eating, Tai was very pleasant and happy to sit in his high chair at the table, periodically offering to share his apples with us and asking very politely for "more fries, please."  He did steal a few glances through the giant glass wall at the kids playing in the other room.  But he said nothing and continued eating.

When the meal was about to come to an end.  Tai announced, "I want ice cream."  When we said that were not having ice cream, he pointed to the older man sitting in the next booth, enjoying a sundae, and said (loudly) "That man have ice cream!" as if to make sure we were aware that McDonald's does indeed sell ice cream.

"Yes, he does," we explained,  "but we're not having ice cream."  Surprisingly, Tai readily accepted this fact.  Then he pointed through the glass wall to the play area and said "I want to climb on that big climber now."  (And I think I heard him whisper under his breath, "Did you think I couldn't see it?  Idiots.")

But the Toddler Crack was already coursing through his veins and he happily accepted our answer of "No, we have to go home now."  Honestly, he was grumpy and whiny for much of the weekend, but the time we spent in McDonald's was peaceful and pleasant.  I know they are evil and the food is not good for you, but we can still eat there, right?

The Final Descent

As we enter the home stretch of Pregnancy #2, Minh and I each have our own way of preparing.  Some examples:

Minh recently stayed up until 2am assembling IKEA bookshelves for the new office.  (Because, obviously, if the baby arrives and the books are not organized, she's going to be *pissed*).

Even though I plan to nurse for the first few weeks before pumping any milk, I am freaked out that I cannot locate my pump *right now* and even called Minh at work the other day in a slight panic to ask him if he knew its whereabouts.

Minh ordered 10 yards of mulch and is renting some heavy machinery this weekend (anyone shocked?) in order to get it all spread in one day, and before what's-her-name arrives.  Honestly, a smarter man would wait until after the baby arrived and then use this as an excuse to get out of the house.

I attended a Savory Suppers session and assembled 6 meals.  Between those and our usual supply of "quick dinners," the freezer is now stocked and ready.

I'm hoping to stay pregnant long enough to have tea out with my friend next week before life is turned upside-down. I think Minh is hoping he gets to finish watching the NBA finals.

We are both, however, looking forward to the arrival of our daughter.  I can't wait for heartburn relief, backache relief, and the occasional glass of wine.  Minh can't wait to have his non-pregnant wife back so we can move five tons of wood pellets into the basement. 

I am currently 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant.  I went into labor with Tai at 36 weeks and 5 days.  Surely, this means that this little girl will be 2 weeks overdue and we still have a long way to go......(and plenty of time to locate that pump!)