What I Did This Weekend

• Answered the "are we there yet?" question 6 times before we even got on the Pike.
• Swam before dinner.
• Zipped two kids into a tent, told them to go to sleep, and walked away.
• Regretted that decision.
• Vowed to delay moving Quynh to a Big Girl Bed for as long as humanly possible.   
• Stared longingly at our friends' pop-up camper and wondered how much we'd have to camp to justify that cost.
• Swam instead of napping.
• Laughed at my husband the first time he was bitten by a fish.
• Felt bad for laughing (and a little scared for my own safety) the second time he was bitten.
• Swam after dinner.
• Marveled at my son swimming, really swimming, in water over his head.
• Received so many mosquito bites on my feet and ankles that I look like I have some sort of pox.
• Wondered why we were sleeping in a tent instead of an air conditioned hotel, or our house. 
• Swam in the rain.
• Took my potty-training two year old to the campground bathroom to pee every time she asked me to.
• Saw an old friend, and his 3 kids.
• Paid a 9-year-old $2 for watching my kids for an hour.
• Packed up a wet tent (again) and swore never again to camp if there is even the slightest chance of rain (again).

Hungry Burglar

Last night I was awakened at 12am by the sound of my fridge beeping.  It beeps when you leave it open.  The thing is, I know I did not leave it open when I went to bed.  Clearly, someone had broken  into my house, fixed themselves a snack, and forgot to close the fridge.

Coincidentally, it was my last night sans-husband.  Because, usually, scaring away hungry burglars in the middle of the night is a Husband Thing.  But, alas, he was not there.  So I got up, grabbed the phone (you know, for calling 911) and the baseball bat that resides in the corner of the room and asked Buttons to accompany me out to the kitchen to investigate.  She promptly walked into her crate and curled up in a ball.  I considered the fact that she had not barked a good sign, but my irrational-sleepy-paranoid-self was still sure I had to go shut the fridge and be sure no one was out there.

So off to the kitchen I went, phone in one hand, baseball bat in the other, and no dog by my side.  The kitchen was empty, but the fridge was indeed open a good 8 inches, not just ajar.  I shut it and then looked all around for a burglar munching on Greek yogurt or pickles (the only things left in the fridge these days).  But there was none to be found.

I glanced at the cat stretched out in the middle of the living room floor and tried to ascertain whether he looked guilty.  He sometimes climbs atop the fridge and I suppose he might have knocked it open while dismounting.  On my way back to bed I went over the physics of this in my head to determine if it might be possible.  Presumably, when jumping off the fridge, a cats paws would push against the fridge, actually closing the door, no?

I climbed back into bed, baseball bat still in hand and lie there awake for the better part of an hour, listening to every sound in the house.  I figured the burglar was hiding down in the basement, waiting for me to fall asleep before returning to the kitchen to finish snacking.  Apparently they out-waited me because I woke hours later, baseball bat still in the bed where my husband should have been.   

I will be very happy to have my hubby back home tonight.

And The Winner Is....

If you answered "C" to the previous post, give yourself a pat on the back.  You win.  Here's how it went down:


4:45pm: Pizza.  Success.

5:15pm: Bath.  Marginal success.  Had to coerce Q into the tub with promise of new pack of silly bands.

5:45pm: Popcorn.  Success.

6:00 - 7:15pm: A Bug's Life.  Half Success.  Tai enjoyed it so much that the moment it ended he asked, "Can we watch it one more time?"  Predictably, Quynh talked loudly through the first 20 minutes and then lost interest.

7:30pm: Stories in Tai's room.  Marginal Success.  Lots of flopping around and getting up off  the mattress.  Not exactly a calming atmosphere.

7:45pm:  Tuck-in.  Success Unclear.

7:46pm: "Hi Tai!!!  Tai!  Tai!  Hi Tai!" emanates from behind the closed door.

7:47 - 8:30pm: They emerge from the room approximately 95 times.  Tai's exits seem legit.  "Quynh is playing with the tissue box."  And, "Quynh took my bookmark out of Charlotte's Web."  Quynh's exits were hilariously frivolous.  First of all, because she can't operate a doorknob, they began with, "Tai, open this door for me!!"  And then she emerged to ask me, "Um.  Um.  ummmmmmm......where's Buttons?"  And then, "Whatchya doin?"  And then, "Who's talkin'?"  And about 16 other things. 

8:30-8:40pm:  Relative silence.  I fool myself into thinking they *might* actually be settling down.

8:40-8:45pm: Her Majesty needs a pillow.  I can hear Quynh ordering Tai around in there.  "Taaaaaiiiii!  I need my baby doll!  Taiiiii, I need my blanket!" etc. etc. etc.

8:46pm:  They come out and Tai asks that Quynh be returned (by force, if necessary) to her room. My boy always knows when he really needs to sleep.  But his sister does not have the same shut-off switch. 

8:55pm:  All is quiet.  Each child is asleep in their own room.  Why on Earth did I try to have it any other way?

9:24pm:  Here I sit, glass of wine in front of me.  Ready to crawl into my own bed with my book.  Good Night.

Shouldn't Someone be Talking Me Out of This?

I've decided to let my kids have a sleepover tomorrow night.

Tai has been asking for about a full year now when his sister can sleep over in his room.  His desire to have her sleep in there with him is so genuine and so sweet that I feel like I have to take advantage of that sentiment before they are bratty middle-schoolers who want nothing to do with each other.

Being a glutton for punishment, I've decided that now is a good time to try this.  You know, I'm already extra stressed and exhausted these days, so I might as well set up a situation that will likely result in less sleep for all of us.  Why the hell not?

So, tomorrow night we will dine on pizza, get into our PJs, pop some popcorn, and watch a movie.  Then I'll tuck both kids in on the queen-sized air mattress on the floor of Tai's room and see what happens.

I'm not worried about Tai.  He's had a good friend sleepover several times and it has always worked well.  They goof around for an hour or two after lights out and then Tai finally gets fed up and moves to his bed to get some good sleep.  But I have no idea what Quynh will do in this situation.  She's always slept either in her crib or in bed with us.  The freedom to roll around on (or get off of!) the air mattress may go to her head.  She may get silly, or she may get confused and scared.  And, knowing her, she may get naked.

Place your bets now, folks.  Who thinks that:

(a) I'll end up sleeping on the air mattress with them
(b) One or both of them will end up in my bed
(c) Quynh will end up back in her crib
(d) No one will get any sleep

Wish me luck?