I think most of you know (or know of) Emmit. He was given to Tai when Tai was just a newborn and, laughing in the face of all the cautions against placing stuffed animals in the crib with young babies, we gave him a home in Tai's crib.
They've been best friends ever since.
All the books say that allowing a child to have a "transition object" or "lovey" can help them learn to soothe themselves and help comfort them when mom and dad are not around. Sounded good to us. BUT, we did not want to have one of those kids who takes the lovey everywhere, causing the parents to live in constant fear of leaving it behind at the supermarket or the playground. So, once Tai was about a year old we set the rule the Emmit (and nuk, for that matter) were only to be used in the crib at naptime and bedtime. At school, Tai was not to leave his nap mat with either Emmit* or nuk in his possession and all the infant-room teachers knew it.
This rule worked very well. Until recently.
About a month ago, Tai started sneaking off to his cubby at school for a 5 minute snuggle with Emmit and a quick suck-fix on the nuk. The teachers saw how much Tai enjoyed this and indulged him. Me and Minh, not so much. Frequently, at pick-up, one of us would be trying to wrestle him into his jacket and boots while he climbed up into his cubby to grab Emmit and nuk. When we told him those were just for sleeping, he retorted, "But [my teachers] let me!"
So we had a word with his teachers. I explained to them that nuk was to be strictly off limits except for naptime, but Emmit could be used now and again when he needed some extra comfort.
Well, apparently the toddler teachers had been allowing other children to bring their loveys (everyone has one, it seems) into the classroom on occasion and they took my statement about Emmit as permission to let Tai do the same. Initially, we were shocked to arrive at pick-up and find Tai and Emmit playing in the classroom (and to see pictures of Emmit attending morning Circle Time). And so was the school's regular substitute teacher, who often taught Tai when he was in the infant room. With a look of sheer horror on her face, she told us one morning, "Do you know they are letting Emmit in the classroom?!?!" Wow, we trained her well.
But we've decided the Tai-Emmit bond is not such a bad thing. And we certainly don't want to have the only kid who's not allowed to have his lovey when he wants it. Inevitably, we followed suit at home. Emmit may now be played with any time of day, but only in Tai's room (we have to keep some of our arbitrary rules in place, right?) Honestly, that's mostly so we don't have to search the whole house for him each night at bedtime.
The result? Tai now spends *alot* of time playing in his room. He and Emmit now do everything together and Emmit has had 7 birthday parties just this week. The benefits? Tai actually plays "alone" a bit more now that he can steal off to his room and be with Emmit. The drawbacks? He seems even more reluctant to leave the house in the morning, and it seems to be a reluctance to leave Emmit behind.
Is this the start of a slippery slope? Will Emmit soon be joining us at the dinner table? And on outings to Costco? Will Quynh and Skipit (not pictured) form the same type of bond? Stay tuned....
* Yes, there is an Emmit at school. We actually have 3 -- one for home, one for school, and one spare. Tai knows there are multiple Emmits and has no trouble with this. In fact, he will occasionally declare an Emmit dirty, put it in the hamper, and ask for the clean one out of his underwear drawer.
