Multi-Tasking

This morning Tai and I went for a walk with two other mommies and babies at a local park. The other two babies were in their big, cumbersome "travel system" strollers and I had Tai in his fleece sling.

Of course, halfway through the walk, Tai woke up hungry and started fussing in the sling. What to do? We were a good 10-15 minutes from the car, and it was a little chilly to stop and eat on a park bench.....so I fed him in the sling!

Yup, I just lifted up my shirt, unhooked my bra, and he popped on. And the other mommies and I kept right on walking and talking and Tai was able to eat "on the go".

I rock. :)

Squeaky Clean Fairy Tales

Someone recently gave us a book of classic fairy tales. I try to read to Tai every day, so the other day we cracked open this new book and read "Little Red Riding Hood". Now, I understand that there are many versions of each fairy tale, with slight variations among them. But this version of one of the most famous fairy tales was so completely wrong, that it pissed me off.

Who remembers the ending to this story? Minh and I both recall that a local woodsman saved the day by cutting open the big bad wolf and extracting Little Red Riding Hood's (miraculously still alive) grandmother from the wolf's belly. Is everyone with me, here? Is that how you all heard it too?

Well, this new version we have involves a "neighbor" man who opens the closet in the grandmother's house and finds her trapped in there (and she wasn't even bound and gagged!) And then--get this-- the wolf just "runs away" never to be seen again and then Little RRH, her grandmother, and the neighbor all sit down for some tea.

Hello? That's so not the way the story goes. And it's illogical too. If the wolf was so hungry....why wouldn't he eat the grandmother? Why would he stash her in the closet and wait for Little RRH? I don't think wolves are that discerning....he surely would have eaten anyone he encountered.

Time For Some More Pictures

OK, here are some more recent shots of the boy.

This first one is of a truly rare moment....Tai actually sleeping in his own crib (and not in our bed, or in the sling, or in the car seat, or on Minh's lap...etc).

And this next one is of Nibbles teaching Tai the ancient art of "sunbeaming" on the ottoman in our living room. Tai should truly be honored, as the secrets of sunbeaming are generally passed only from cat to kitten. He must be an honorary feline.

Bath time in the little baby basin was cold, stressful, and generally unpleasant. So we've already switched to the big bathtub. Here Tai is enjoying a dip in the tub with his daddy. The two of them emerge fresh and clean and smelling of apricot oil.

And what better way to end bath time that wrapped up in a towel explicitly intended to make you look like a frog? Clearly, this towel was designed with just such a photo in mind. And if you ask Minh why he bought Tai a pink pacifier he'll ramble on about breaking gender stereotypes. But really, Target was just out of the other colors.

Better Than a Fake ID

Even though I am 30, I almost always still get carded when purchasing alcohol, especially at this one liquor store near UMass. When I was pregnant, I sometimes would and sometimes would not have to show ID. Even when they did not ask for it, I could tell the cashier was usually sizing me up, deciding whether to card me.

Not today. There wasn't even a thought in that cashier's mind about carding me. I'm thinking this was due to the 6-week-old baby in my cart. Now, of course you can have a baby before you are 21. But somehow it seems unlikely that underage mothers would be out buying bottles of shiraz.

Anyway, I'm thinking this could be how Tai earns his keep around here. I can rent him out to underage folks who want a "free pass" at the liquor store. Just bring him with you and act like you're his responsible, over 21, parent and no one will question you. The ad practically writes itself! Any takers?

The 30 Second Massage

My Pioneer-Valley-Hippy husband recently got wind of a free infant massage class and suggested that Tai and I go check it out. Yes, that's right. Infant massage. It's a class where you learn how to massage your baby. Personally, I'd rather spend my time receiving a massage, but I decided to give this class a try anyway.

Feeling like I already know my son pretty well, I was sure ahead of time that he was not going to be down with this class. I expressed my feelings to Minh who assured me that in a class of babies I should not be embarrassed if he fusses or cries, as all babies do from time to time. I took comfort in that and went to the class.

As we walked in the door, Tai decided he wanted to eat. Not a problem, I fed him while we settled in and did introductions around the room. Then it was time to get to the massaging. We laid our babies on their backs, on pillows, and undressed them from the waist down. We were then instructed to rub some of this special oil into our hands, hold our oily hands up in front of our babies faces and ask their permission to massage them. Yuh, we had to literally ask them....out loud. It went something like this:

Kathy: "May I massage you?"
Tai: "Eeeeeeeeeh. eh. eh. eh. eh." (translation: "I don't think so.")
Kathy: "OK, here we go."

I started to rub his left leg, as instructed, while he verbally protested. Even the instructor pointed out the problem by saying "Tai's not so sure about this, huh?" The "eh. eh. eh." turned to full on crying before long. After about 30 seconds of massage, I gave up and picked him up into my arms to comfort him. The rest of the class continued to massage. Then they moved on to the other leg. Then they moved on to the butt. And then the belly. And then the chest. All while I rocked, fed, and burped Tai. And then rocked him some more.

Twice I tried putting him back on the pillow for massage and twice he balked. At one point I was hoping no one was watching as I tried to shove a pacifier down his throat so I could rub his chest. I had no luck. I realized how ridiculous I was being.....trying to force him to relax so I could give him a massage is not very relaxing at all.

About 10 minutes before class ended he took a huge dump. I changed him and he screamed the whole time I was doing it. Then, with a fresh diaper on and class due to end in one minute, he fell asleep in my arms.

Exhausted, embarrassed, and overwhelmed, I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. As we were packing up, folks came over and encouraged us to come back the next day (it's a 3-day class). I smiled and assured them we'd be back (yeah, right!)

Pulling out of the parking lot, I realized I had packed up so quickly that my bra was still unhooked from Tai's last feeding. So, go ahead and add "putting your boob away with one hand, while driving with the other" to my list of newly acquired mommy skills. Unfortunately, infant massage will NOT be on that list.

Pants

I've just recently started wearing non-maternity pants again. On the one hand it feels good to be in regular-person-jeans again. But on the other hand, it's such a hassle to have to deal with a fly to get them on and off! Why aren't all pants elastic waist-banded?

Now, I'm still not wearing my pre-pregnancy "skinny jeans." Rather, I'm wearing the "transition jeans" that I bought one size up just after I started to show and before maternity pants were completely necessary. I can actually squeeze into, and even zip up, my skinny jeans. But they are so low-cut and so tight that a nice big roll of pregnancy belly-skin hangs over the top of them. It's oh-so attractive. I look like one of those people on What Not to Wear who is so proud that they still fit into their jeans from high school, but for whom high school was 20 years (and 30lbs) ago.

I may never wear the skinny jeans again. By the time I can really fit into them I'm sure they'll be out of style. And that's OK...it's just a reason to go shopping for some new ones. :)

Baby's First Statutory Rape Scene

Tai and I went to the movies this morning. A local theater has a $5.00 "mommy and me" movie once a month so that folks like me can get out and see a movie and bring our babies along. It's no big deal if your baby cries during the movie....everyone there understands.

Today they were showing Notes on a Scandal, in which Cate Blanchette's character has sex with one of her 15-year-old students and Judy Dench's character mistakenly believes that she and Cate Blanchette have a romantic future together.

All in all, an excellent movie for babies ;)