Tai's arrival

Tai is three weeks and one day old as of today (1/18/07), which happens to be his official due-date. So this seems like a good day to post about his arrival. *Disclaimer -- This post contains details of labor and delivery, which some readers may find overly informative. Proceed at your own discretion.

December 26th, 2006 -- Is This "It"?
At 7pm I was suddenly awoken from a nice after-work nap by....wetness. Soon I found myself sitting on the toilet, leaking amniotic fluid and shivering for no apparent reason. Minh, ever the gentleman, wrapped his robe around me for warmth and then asked permission to go get in the hot tub. Buttons, the ever-faithful companion, stayed by my side.

After Minh's head-clearing stint in the hot tub, I remained cool as a cucumber and suggested that we go on with our evening as planned. So, amid Minh's protests that this could not possibly be "it" because he's too far behind at work, we went forth with our dinner plans--Minh started cooking while I phoned the doula. In his flustered state, Minh assembled the BLTs and forgot the T.

Around 8:30pm I phoned the doctor on call, who did not quite believe me that my water had broken. She suggested I come in "just to get checked" and assured me that even if my water had broken I can go back home and labor in my own bed over night. That lying bitch. By 9:30pm I was laying in a hospital bed, strapped to monitors, and being told I cannot go back home because the baby's heart rate was dipping with each contraction. I was so irritated. Good thing we took the dog out for a pee before we left, and brought our overnight bag with us.

December 27, 2006 -- Minh, the Super-Coach
After my very first overnight stay in a hospital ever (though a largely sleepless night at that) we were overjoyed to learn that our favorite OB was now on call and would be for the next 24 hours. We like this OB because he is friendly, patient, and laid-back. The only down side is that he has rather large hands. Note to others: if anyone ever wants to "sweep" your membranes to stimulate stronger contractions, ask for a petite-handed volunteer.

Several hours passed, during which the contractions did indeed get MUCH stronger, though not much closer together. Never an overly modest person in the first place, I quickly lost all sense of propriety. I happened to be buck naked in the bathtub when the doula arrived. For one brief second I thought, "she's here...and I'm naked. oh well." Soon after that, I actually wondered why Minh even bothered to close the bathroom door behind us when he accompanied me in there for a poop. At one point, I was much more embarrassed by the fact that the doula was massaging my hadn't-been-shaved-in-weeks legs than the fact that I was parading around in disposable gauze underwear and nothing else (yes, the hospital gives you gauze underwear).

Minh, always the sensitive husband and never afraid of "womanly stuff," soon became a real professional at changing my maxi pad and gauze underwear. He gets lots of credit for never even flinching when I handed him a used pad to be disposed of or leaned on him while stepping into a new pair of underwear.

While in labor, laying the the bed was the last thing I wanted to do...I spent almost the whole time standing or walking, and then throwing all my weight on Minh during each contraction. I was in and out of the shower three times, I think. By the third time, I was flinging the shower curtain open to throw myself on Minh during each contraction. Of course, his bathing suit was the one thing we forgot to pack, so the poor guy was drenched in jeans and a t-shirt before long. But he never once complained.

Both Minh and the doula did an excellent job of coaching me through the whole process, drug-free. Twice I demanded of them, "tell me it's too late for drugs" and they instantly chorused back that it was indeed too late. They were, of course, lying to me. But that's what I wanted them to do.

Verbal Diarrhea
I found that being the one in labor gave me carte blanche to do or say whatever I wanted. It was kind of like being drunk -- I verbalized every thought that came into my head. Lucky for Minh, I took all my pain/anger/frustration out on the OB and the baby. (Another reason I like this OB is that he took all my snide comments in stride). I recall telling several people, including the OB, that I was allowed to be pouty. And that I hated the hospital and wanted to go home. Oh, and that I needed to poop. Has anyone ever heard that when you are in labor you'll feel the "urge to push"? Yeah, that "pressure" feels like needing to poop a freaking grapefruit out your ass. I do believe I moaned the words "I need to poop" about 700 times. I think I got my point across.

For me, the worst part of labor was the needing to poop out that pesky grapefruit(and being told to resist the urge to push) and the sheer exhaustion. I was so dead tired that, at one point, I told Minh that I didn't even care about meeting the baby. I just wanted labor to be over with so that I could nap. He did an excellent job looking me in the eye and nodding as though he completely sympathized--but I bet he was laughing at me on the inside.

Pushing -- "Get it Out!"
Once we got to the part where I was allowed to push, I became chipper. I think I even called it a "nice change of pace"... at the beginning. Before too long, however, I changed my tune and the choice words for Tai started spewing out of my mouth. I think I yelled at the OB to "get this f#*cker out of me," among other things too harsh to repeat here.

Never one to like being the center of attention, I did get very self conscious near the end. I had Minh, the doula, the OB, and 2 nurses standing around me in near silence in between contractions. Yes, when the contractions hit, it was all "push push push!" and "rah rah rah!" but then there were about 5 solid minutes in between. I started dozing off during those 5 minute breaks, but I felt bad for the others and asked if they were all bored. Minh, of course, did not find it boring. And even the doula and the nurses -- who had seen many births-- made some lame attempt to assure me they were not bored. And the OB smirked and said "I'm not going to answer that."

After some more screaming of expletives, Tai arrived. And I was instantly no longer sleepy. I was also impervious to all subsequent pain and became chatty with the OB while he stitched me up. Having my priorities in order, I made sure to ask him right at that moment, how soon I could start using our hot tub again.

The other thing that happened as soon as Tai was born is that I realized I was hungry. And poor Minh hadn't eaten in over a day. The nurses were clearly prepared for this, and they soon appeared with a huge binder containing take-out menus from every restaurant in Northampton. Less than 30 minutes later, Minh, the doula and I were eating the tastiest pizza ever made. I have no idea where it was from or even what toppings were on it....it so didn't matter.

Post-Partum Realizations:

I lost 10lbs in one day, so I have a really great head start on Minh with the whole losing-the-pregnancy-weight thing.

I can sleep on my back again...or, better yet, on my stomach!

I can tie my own shoes again. :)