My Denim Identity

The only pair of jeans that fit my current body have recently sprung a giant hole in one knee. And since it is no longer 1992, I can't quite pull off that look. (At least, not without my plaid flannel shirts and Chuck Taylor high tops.)

So last night I ventured out to Old Navy in search of replacement jeans. It was not an easy task. These days, in addition to finding the right size, you also have to figure out what "jean type" you are. Determining your Denim Identity at Old Navy is a lot like figuring out your Starbucks order (are you a grande non-fat half-caf mocha? or a tall half-fat all-caf latte?)

Where Old Navy jeans are concerned, you first have to determine whether you are a Sweetheart, a Flirt, or a Diva. Apparently, Sweethearts like their jeans to sit just below the belly button, Diva's like them so low that their ass crack shows, and Flirts are somewhere in between. Once you have chosen the appropriate sluttiness factor, you have to choose your:

Length--short, regular, or long
Leg style -- boot cut, skinny leg, wide leg, straight leg, or flare
Wash -- light or dark

It was an evening of self-discovery. After two trips to the dressing room and 10 pairs of jeans pulled on and off my body, I now know that I am a Sweetheart, regular, boot-leg, dark wash, thank you very much.