Death.

Tai's experience with death, thus far, has been limited to:

(a) Asking us to re-tell the story of our cat, Gorby, who died long before Tai was even conceived.
(b) Being told that my parents' dog, Taz, died and that they got a new dog named Cassie.
(c) Hearing that two of the fish in the tank at school died. And then meeting the replacement fish.

Friday we got word that our neighbors' dog, Red Dog, had passed away. On the way home from school Friday I gave Tai the news and we talked about drawing a picture for Red Dog's youngest owner (and Tai's friend), Lila, to make her feel better. Naturally, he had some questions.....

"Why did red Dog die?"
(Well, because he was old and sick and his body stopped working.)

"What is their dog's name now?"
(They don't have a new dog. Red Dog died last night and now they don't have a dog.)

"Was his tail moving?"
(No, once an animal dies it doesn't move anymore.)

"Why is Lila sad?"
(Because Red Dog died and she loved him. Wouldn't you be sad if Buttons died and then she wasn't here anymore?)


Oh Boy, this is where I went a little too far in my explanation and opened a huge can of worms.....


"Is Buttons going to die?"
(Yes, everything dies eventually. But Buttons is young and will probably live a long time.)

"And Smudge?"
(Yes, someday.)

"And Nibbies?"
(Yes.)


I watched the wheels turning behind his eyes and cringed as I waited for it.......


"And Quynh??"
(Ummmm........yes. But not for a very very long time.)

"And Me?????"
(Um yes. Again, not for a long time.)

"And you? And daddy?"
(Yup.)

"Who is going to live in our house when we are all dead?"


So, pretending that I did not just emotionally scar my child and cause him to live in constant fear of his own death, we went on with our afternoon. He painted Lila a picture and then we played and talked about the usual mundane stuff. When Minh came home, Tai made sure he heard the news about Red Dog. And then the topic of death was dropped, for a little while.

Just this evening, while attending a Super Bowl party at a friend's house, we were standing around the kitchen, eating guacamole and chicken wings, and chatting with several people whom we had just met. And then there was a lull in the adult conversation. So Tai filled it with:

"Someday I'm going to die."