Beware the Brownies

Last weekend we took Tai to a local children's museum for the first time.  Since it was a cold Saturday morning, the place was pretty packed.  And Tai was most certainly on the far end of the age spectrum--I think he was actually the youngest kid there that wasn't sleeping in a sling.  But he had a rockin' good time anyway.  He "drove" the forklift, crawled through a tunnel, and climbed around on a very large structure covered in the most slippery carpeting ever.  

Unfortunately, Minh and I had to spend most of our time making sure Tai did not get run over by all the big kids.  When we weren't picking him up and shuttling him to safety, we were standing in front of him, directing older kids to go around him.  And I spent a fair amount of time just flashing them dirty looks (to no avail).

And you know who behaved the worst?  The ones who showed depraved indifference?  The hyperactive boys, right?  Nope.  It was the Brownie Troop.  Dressed in their little brown skirts and vests, and present in such large numbers, they took over the place like a little biker gang.  They were everywhere at once -- running, jumping, falling, and pushing Tai out of the way to get where they were going.  Two of the future Hell’s Angels even tried to shut a mailbox door on Tai's head.  Apparently, with all the knot-tying and flag folding, there is no time to earn a Regard for Human Life badge.   

The museum has several different play areas you can visit, and Minh and I became focused on making sure we stayed one step ahead of the Brownies.  When they showed up at the ambulance Tai was driving, we moved on to the post office.  When they caught up with us there and nearly decapitated Tai, we moved on to the bodega, etc, etc.   The Girl Scout promise must also include something about waging turf wars because these chicks were ruthless.  They would arrive at, say, the bubble blowing station, and express their annoyance that Tai was using it with audible sighs.  And once Tai gave up some ground by taking a step back, they would hit him in the stomach with a tire iron, take his lunch money, and ride off on their tricked-out Hannah Montana Huffy bikes*.   

The whole time, Tai appeared blissfully unaware of his several brushes with death at the hands of The Brownies.  But maybe he was not as oblivious as we thought?  Later that day I asked him if he had fun at the museum and what he had done there and he said, "kids!  kids jumpin'! watch out kids!"

 

*This part may be embellished