It's Getting More Difficult...

...not lying to Tai.

I've been trying to maintain this whole Not Lying to my Children Policy (the whole Santa thing excluded). It's usually pretty easy to maintain, as long as I am willing to simplify the truth or exaggerate time lines -- "yes, I am going to bed after I put you to bed" (just not immediately after I put you to bed).

But it's getting trickier these days, especially because Tai's new habit is coming out of his room after we put him to bed. Several times a night. It's like he has suddenly figured out that the world doesn't stop once he's in bed. We theorize that he lays in there for 5-10 minutes thinking up the next line to feed us. Usually, we get these:

I'm not tired.
I want to play.
I'm hungry.
I need ice in my water cup.
Where is Quynh?
I need something else to sleep with.
I'm all alone in my room - I need you to snuggle me.
I want Mama and Daddy to go to bed.
What are you eating?
I thought you said you were going to bed, Mama.

I've been evading some of the more direct questions about what we do after he goes to bed. I tell him we have some grown-up things to do (like washing dishes and packing lunches) and then we get in our PJs and go to bed. This is all true-ish, but not as truthful as saying, "Look, kid. After you're out of our hair we drink wine, eat chocolate, watch R-rated movies and soak in the hot tub."

Technical Difficulties Resolved

We now return to your Regularly Scheduled Font.

Not So Bright

Last night we headed out on what promised to be a productive, delicious, and magical family outing. First, Costco for some essentials and dinner at the food court. Then, on to Bright Nights in Springfield's Forest Park. Both kids had napped well at school, Quynh had just nursed, the dog had been out to pee, our shopping list was in order, and we even remembered the Bright Nights $3 off coupon. It was going to be perfect.

While zipping down 91 South toward Costco we realized neither of us had much cash and both the Costco food court and Bright Nights seem like the type of places that wouldn't take credit cards. Hmmmm...what to do? No Problem! I pulled out my handy-dandy new iphone and asked it to show me all the nearest ATMs, which it gladly did (and then even gave me turn-by-turn directions from my current location.) Awesome. No little bump in the road like a lack of cash was going to ruin our evening.

Tai, meanwhile, was all questions about this whole Bright Nights thing. "It's a park?" "Do we get out of the car?" "Can we play there?" "Will Santa be there?" "Can we go see him?" "Where is Springfield?"

Costco shopping? Check.

Dinner of hot dogs, chicken bakes, and an apple? Check.

Small talk with the folks eating at the table next to us? Check. (Woman: "You have beautiful children." Tai: "I'm cute!")

Time to head on to the Main Event.

A mere 10 minutes later and we pulled up to the main gate of Forest Park, only to see the giant unlit Bright Nights signs on the closed gate at the entrance to the completely dark park.* I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a second, wondering what was going on and (more importantly) how to break it to Tai. Then I fumbled in my wallet for the coupon and read the Open Hours again. Here is (verbatim) what it says:

OPEN: Wed-Sun: Nov 25, 2009 - Dec 6, 2009

Nightly, Dec 9, 2009 - Jan 2, 2010.

Last week, when we planned this outing, I read this statement up through the word "nightly." Why would I need to read on? Wed-Sun until Dec 6th and then nightly after that, right? No such luck. What they really mean is Wed-Sun through Dec 8th!! Argh! So there we were, on Dec 8th, with no lights to look at. We told Tai and he immediately started asking "why?" in a high pitched, quivery voice that indicated tears might be imminent.

Luckily, our friends live right around the corner from Forest Park so we called and were granted permission to pop in. Tears averted. Friends visited. Leggos played. Baby nursed. All was well, and Tai learned a valuable lesson somewhere along the way. (The lesson being "read the fine print, because your mother doesn't.") Now we just have to find a time to go back down to Springfield now that Bright Nights is actually open nightly.

*Perhaps the saddest part was the bus from a retirement home that pulled up to the dark, locked gate of Forest Park right before we did. I wonder if they had a Plan B to implement so that all the retirees would not burst into tears?

One Stop Shopping

This weekend I took Tai to the local hardware store to buy batteries and an extension cord, for some Christmas decorations. While walking through the store he repeatedly asked me, "do they have presents here?"

He's eager to learn the Ways of Christmas, but doesn't quite understand it all -- I'm pretty sure he thought that Christmas gifts were purchased already wrapped,with bows on top. I tried to explain to him that anything in the store had the potential to be a Christmas present. Then he caught on and started scanning the aisles saying "Mama, we have to buy presents for our friends!"

Then we found a display of personalized ball point pens. They came in pink, red, blue, yellow, and green, with the usual array of names. As a "Kathy" I've always loved finding this type of display and have indeed owned personalized key chains, pens, stickers, etc. But I had to break it to my son that he would absolutely not find his name there in between and Stephen and Taylor. But we did manage to find the name of Tai's good friend, Natasha. I suggested we buy her a pen for Christmas and asked if he wanted to get her the green one or the yellow one.

T: "pink!"

K: "they don't have 'Natasha' in pink. green or yellow?"

T: "but Natasha's favorite color is pink!"

K: "I know that, but they just don't have it in pink."

T: (holding up a pink pen) "what's this one say?"

K: "Erica. But we don't know any Ericas."

T: (holding up another pink pen) "what's this one say?"

K: "Rebecca."

T: "I don't know any Rebeccas."

The poor kid really wanted to get his friend a pink pen and I thought it would be weird to give her a "Rebecca" pen so I looked for her mom's name. It was there, but not in pink. I looked for her dad's name. Not there. I looked for her middle name. Not there. I then got so wrapped up in my son's quest for a pink pen to give to Natasha that I started looking at the very end, where they have the pens that say things like "soccer rules" and "I love baseball." The only pink one in that section said WWJD. Seriously. I could not make this up if I tried. Luckily, not long after that, Tai declared, "These pens are for grown-ups, let's keep looking for something else."

Right up by the registers, where hardware stores tend to keep all the little useless trinkets (folding magnifying glass, anyone?) we found the perfect gift. And it came in an array of colors, including pink. Tai selected pink for Natasha, pink for S, blue for J, and purple for S. These just happen to be the 4 friends who will attend his birthday party in a couple weeks, so he can given them out then. I can't write specifically what the gift is because I don't want to ruin the surprise and you never know who reads this blog (I caught Tai handing out the URL on the playground the other day).

He carried the four items to the register, carefully placed them one-by-one on the counter and then had the nerve to tell me he had no money with which to purchase them. So, being the generous mother that I am, I fronted him the cash and promised not to charge any interest when I take it out of the allowance he'll likely start to receive in a year or two.

Saturday Haiku

snow falling. tree lit.
toddler sleeping. baby smiles.
happy saturday.

Reason # 27 to Have Children....

....Christmas.

As a child, Christmas was a magical time for me and I looked forward to it beginning in early November. In anticipation of the holiday, my mom and I would sing Christmas carols, make paper snowflakes, and even paint the corners of the windowpanes with white shoe polish. And we often had our shopping done by Thanksgiving.

Over the years, however, that feeling faded and Christmas had started to become just a big hassle that snuck up on me when I wasn't paying attention, resulting in a frantic scramble to find gifts for a huge list of folks, spending too much money, packing the car, hiring a cat sitter, and driving east to spend a whirlwind 48 hours with family when I'd much rather just stay home and hibernate (my apologies to those who read this to whom I am related by either blood or marriage). I had become jaded.

But now Tai is nearly 3 years old and perfectly ripe for the magic of Santa Claus, reindeer, and stockings. And I am nearly bursting with excitement over the chance to spin this tale that most of us tell our children (even though we teach them not to lie). Tai is already aware that Santa will bring him gifts and fill his stocking. And I'm looking forward to coaching him to put milk and cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve (but mostly just so I can eat them after he goes to bed).

And, this year, for the first time ever, we have a Christmas tree. It's fake. (Or, as Tai says, "It's just a pretend conifer.") I was raised in a home that believed in real Christmas trees the way some people believe in God. And now I am a heretic. But, despite my upbringing, it doesn't bother me to have a fake tree and offers some distinct advantages:

(1) no pine needles on the floor

(2) no need to go buy one and strap it to the roof of the car to get it home

(3) no need to dispose of it in January -- I can never figure out which *one* week you are allowed to put tree out for the garbage truck. (And neither can some of our neighbors -- I've seen trees put out a week too late that sit on the curb for months.)

(4) we can enjoy it for an entire month without worrying about it drying out. in fact, it's already up.

Yesterday we were all home sick from work and school so we decided to put on some Christmas tunes and put up the tree. Tai was unbelievably excited and spent the entire 45 minutes that it took us to set it up asking, "Is it time for the ornaments yet?" Of course, after he hung about 10 ornaments all on one branch he lost interest.

While we were setting it up, he looked at the box it had just come out of, which showed a gorgeous lit, decorated, tree with presents underneath. He peered into the empty box and asked, "But where are the presents?" Apparently he didn't understand that the photo was just a Serving Suggestion and that we need to supply our own gifts.

And speaking of presents...this year I've set an unrealistic goal of minimizing the number of Christmas and birthday celebrations. With his birthday on 12.27, it's going to be difficult (impossible?). I know everyone wants to give him gifts and I don't mind that, but I just don't want him thinking he gets gifts every day for a week. Last year, between birthday and Christmas celebrations, and gifts arriving in the mail, he ended up opening gifts six days in a row. Just a couple more and he would have thought we were Jewish.

So here I sit, un-jaded and downright excited for this holiday season. Let the festivities begin.

Raising Paulie Bleeker

By doing whatever it takes to get Tai to use the potty, we might just be (inadvertently) raising the next Paulie Bleeker.

The current Potty Incentive Program includes getting to eat a small piece of candy after each use of the potty. This, in case anyone who has been by recently was wondering, is why we have a package of orange tic tacs on the sink in the bathroom.

And it might just be working.

Tai loves those orange tic tacs so much that when he's goofing around, not wanting to use the bathroom, we just have to remind him that he gets an "orange candy" afterward and he shapes up and does his business. Just the sight of the tic tac box makes him urinate--it's almost Pavlovian. We're nearing the point where we can walk into the bathroom and shake the tic tac container (much like shaking a can of Pounce for a cat) and he'll come running.

(Yes, I just managed to compare my son to a dog and a cat in the same paragraph.)

A Child After my Own Heart

I would prefer, hands down, a shot in the arm to having something sprayed up my nose. Tai agrees.

After receiving some (mis)information while getting my h1n1 vaccine, I told Tai that he was going to get a flu shot in his arm the next day. He became instantly excited at this idea. Seriously. He kept talking about how brave he was going to be and that he was going to get a band-aid afterward. He even told his teachers at school, proudly, "I'm going to get a flu shot today!" And when we left school yesterday to head over to the doctor's office he said to me, "I hope there will be a little bit of blood."

Feeling like I had the bravest toddler in the world, we headed to the pediatrician. Although he enjoyed playing in the waiting room, Tai actually got a little impatient and asked a couple times when it would be his turn.

Once inside the exam room, it occurred to me to confirm that he was indeed getting the shot, not the nasal spray. I was wrong. They disputed what I had previously been told and explained that they would only give the shot to kids with an asthma diagnosis. Paying close attention to this adult conversation happening in front of him, Tai piped in, "but I want the poke in the arm!"

Sadly, his preference was not taken into consideration. I delivered the news and soon my brave boy's lip was quivering and tears were silently dripping off his cheek and onto his pants. We were left alone in the room together and he started pleading with me to get him the shot, or take him home. Heart-breaking. When the nurse came in with the flu mist, he burst into a full out cry. I found myself both feeling bad for him but also somewhat embarrassed that he had lost his cool and this nurse must think he's like all the other toddlers -- afraid of shots. I feebly tried to explain that he just doesn't want anything up his nose. And he made his wishes known, screaming, "I want the shot! In my arm!"

In the end, I had to restrain him so she could squirt that stuff up his nose, poor thing. He took a few minutes to recover, but by the time we got home he was actually pleased to be able to explain to Minh that it wasn't a shot: "It was a Flu Squeeze! And I was brave!"

Conference 2

Today we had our conference with Quynh's teacher and got to see another slide show of our kid having fun at school. Set to You Belong to Me, it went something like this:

Quynh laying on her back, smiling

Quynh on her tummy, smiling

Quynh smiling while being kissed by an older baby

Quynh smiling while being dressed by an older baby (and a work-study student)

Quynh beaming while sitting up on her own

The good news is she's not failing any of her courses and probably will not be held back. Whew!

Conference 1

We had our fall semester conference with Tai's teacher this morning. Ahhhhh, there's nothing like watching a slide show of your kid playing at school and talking about how wonderful he is. Here's the summary:

• Tai plays with everyone in the classroom, but has a special sibling-esque relationship with Natasha.
• Tai enjoys making the other kids laugh and can get too silly at times.
• Tai talks alot and feels the need to fill awkward silences.
• Tai likes to teach the new, younger, kids the circle time songs and signs.
• Tai is not a big fan of using the potty when he has better things to do.
• Tai is able to, but prefers not to, dress and undress himself.

All of this is, of course, Earth-shattering news to us. We had no idea :)

Aliens Digging for Fossils

The other day I read Tai the book Aliens Love Underpants, which features brightly colored illustrations of aliens of all shapes and sizes. After we read it through it occurred to me that he might not even know what an alien is. So I asked and the conversation went like this:

K: Do you know what an alien is?

T: yes.

K: OK, what is it?

T: alien-tologist!

So now I'm worried that he thinks that paleontologists are green or purple or blue and have antennae and anywhere between 1 and 4 eyes. Next he'll be telling people he wants to be a paleontologist so he can fly a space ship.

That Poor Gorilla

I'm not sure how many of you folks know this, but Nibbles (the cat with no genitalia) is the friskiest animal in our house. And by frisky I mean, um, "frisky". About 8 years ago (back when he had a penis) he adopted a stuffed black cat of mine as his own. "Why does a cat need a stuffed companion?" you might ask. For sex, of course.

Nibbles and Sex Kitten (as we call it) were inseparable for years. Late at night, we'd find him biting it on the back of the neck and...um...you know. Sex Kitten is the size of an actual, small, cat. Just big enough to be realistic, and just small enough for Nibbles to be able to pick it up and move it from one room to another. We never knew where we'd find that thing each morning -- tossed in a corner of the living room, curled up under the kitchen table, or spread eagle at the bottom of the stairs.

Over the years, Sex Kitten got *much* use. This poor thing is now so tattered and threadbare

that it's embarrassing when people come over and see it, thinking it's one of Tai's toys--almost as embarrassing as having to tell people to keep their young children from touching it, but not wanting to explain why in front of tender young ears.

That is all just background for the news that there appears to be a new game in town. Not long ago, my parents gifted Tai a stuffed gorilla that happens to be black and roughly the same size as Sex Kitten. The gorilla went pretty much unnoticed and unused by anyone, including Tai, until last week. That's when we saw Nibbles saunter into the living room, carrying the gorilla in his mouth, settle down in the corner by the door and assume "the posture".

We rescued the gorilla right away, ushering him to safety up on a table, and gave Nibbles back Sex Kitten, who had been vacationing under our bed. But the next morning I found that poor primate at the bottom of the playroom stairs, looking rather ashamed of himself. Now, each evening we make sure the gorilla is up somewhere that we think is out-of-sight and out-of-mind, if not out of reach, but each morning he's laying on the floor somewhere looking dejected. Most recently, we discovered him halfway down the playroom stairs, and Sex Kitten at the bottom. So now we're not sure if Nibbles is upgrading his partner or trying to get a three-way started.

At this point I'm not sure whether to save the gorilla by hiding him away in Tai's room, or just let Nibbles go for it.

Selected Scenes from a Weekend in Vermont

Scene 1: The Trek North

1 hour into the 2.5 hour drive: (smiling) "Mama, I just got a big huge boogie out of my nose....and ate it."
1.5 hours into the 2.5 hour drive: (upset, almost frantic) "I can't see The Vermont!" My reply? "Look out the window, it's all around you." (He didn't get it.)
2 hrs into the 2.5 hrs drive: (all patience lost) "I don't want to go to The Vermont. I want to go home RIGHT NOW."

Scene 2: Who Knew a King-Sized Bed Could Feel Cramped?

I enjoy sharing my bed with Quynh, and I enjoy snuggling with Tai. But not at the same time. Never again.

Friday night-- after placing an almost-asleep Quynh in the center of a king-sized bed and tucking Tai into his sleeping bag on the floor, I foolishly attempted to go into the other room and have a glass of wine. Quynh wouldn't settle. My attempts at settling her just kept Tai awake. Tai wanted to know when I was coming to bed, and if he could get in the bed with me and Quynh. We called Daddy at 8:30pm and Tai announced, "I'm having trouble falling asleep." I then gave in and said all three of us could surely sleep comfortably in a king sized bed. After much flopping, flailing, talking, and whispered reprimands ("Don't lay on your sister!") somehow, by about 10pm, we all fell asleep.

At 3am when Quynh woke to nurse, Tai also woke. And became jealous (or something). He started pawing at Quynh, and at my breast, and then sat on my head. Yes, sat on my head. When he did not remove himself by the count of 3 he got an un-precedented 3:30am time-out. Tears ensued.

Saturday night was better, though it also started with an "I'm having trouble falling asleep" call to Daddy. I abandoned all pretense of staying up later than my kids and we all climbed into bed at 8pm. By the time I nursed Quynh to sleep and rolled over to snuggle Tai. he was still pretty wired. I had to tell him a lengthy story of the life, and death, of our long-dead cat Marmalade to get him to settle down (why he finds that particular tale calming is beyond me). Somehow we got through the second night with no one sitting on me and only 15 minutes of wailing at 3 am. "Is it wake up time yet? It's taking a looooong time!"

Scene 3: The Water Boy

Even though there is not much to actually do in Killington, VT if you are a non-skiing toddler, Tai only needed water to have a good time. It seemed like I couldn't keep him dry for more than a few hours at a time. Jacuzzi bathtub, shower, outdoor (heated) pool, back into the bathtub, etc. (Perhaps we should have just stayed home and soaked in the hot tub all weekend?)

Scene 4: Life and Death

At lunch on Sunday Tai claimed to be afraid to walk under the giant stuffed moose head on the wall. I explained that the moose used to be alive, but was now dead and stuffed (ugh). Though he still would not walk under it, he became instantly interested in learning which things in the restaurant used to be alive.

Pointing to a canoe hanging from the ceiling: "Mama, was that boat alive and it died?" And then, "Did that (wooden) duck used to be alive?" And on our way out the door after lunch, "Mama -- what about that man? (sitting and eating his lunch) Did he die?" Luckily, the man was good-natured about it and almost seemed entertained by Tai's curiosity. Whew.

Scene 5: Home Sweet Home

The ride home (at naptime on Sunday) was blissfully quiet and we returned to trimmed hedges and gardens, a mown lawn, a re-organized laundry room, and even a clean bathroom floor. But we also returned to an exhausted Daddy with a killer headache from lack of caffeine. (Apparently washing the coffee pot seemed like more trouble than it was worth to him).

While we were away Minh even found time to test the Halloween candy, just to make sure it isn't poison and will be safe to give out to the neighborhood kids. What a thoughtful guy.

My Big Boy

Tai is almost 3. How and when that happened, I'm not sure. Lately I've been marvelling at how grown-up he is. Some examples:


He orders his own food in restaurants. Granted, it's always the same order. "Do you have chocolate milk? And do you have mac n cheese?" And when the server comes by half-way through the meal to check on us he says "I'm all set" before they can even ask if we need anything else. (Perhaps we eat out too much?)

He can walk all the way around the block on his own feet, without begging to be carried just after the half-way point. Buttons is not a big fan of Tai's stop-and-smell-the-roses pace, but it's fun to do once in a while.


He's *nearly* potty trained and is quite good about using public restrooms. He recently delighted in selecting which port-o-potty to use from a row of about 8. Once inside he became fascinated with the urinal and (after I insisted he stop *touching* it) he requested to stand up and pee into that instead of sitting on the toilet. Afterward, he bragged to Minh about it.



No one has ever taken so much pleasure from doing laundry as my boy Tai. If he sees us with a load of laundry he insists that he be allowed to help with it. He sits up on the dryer and pours the detergent into the washer. He is also in charge of putting the Bounce in the dryer. Surely this obsession will last through his teen years and I'll never had to do another load myself, right?



He feeds the dog. By himself. For the past several months he's been helping me feed the dog and cats each morning. But the other day I was in Quynh's room changing her diaper when I heard it happen. "Buttons, down!" And then the sound of dog food being scooped into her bowl. And then. "OK, good girl!"



He selects his outfit each morning. Actually, we've started having him select it at night before bed, for the next day. This is an attempt to get us out of the house earlier on weekday mornings, but it has proven only moderately successful thus far. It's not so much that he cares what he wears, but he likes having a say in the process, I think. He's beginning to understand that the season have just changed and short sleeved t-shirts are no longer an appropriate choice. Except for that one favorite shirt I can't seem to get him to forget about. Now if he could just learn to dress himself, we'd be all set.

I always find something to worry about

I woke at 5:30am this morning to Tai standing beside my bed -- his face mere inches from mine. After the initial shock of that rude awakening, I explained that it was still "the middle of the night" and tucked him back in. But while I was tending to him I was thinking, "where the hell is Quynh?" I had put her to bed at 8pm the night before and had not seen her since. "Surely, she is dead," I thought (while simultaneously knowing that was ridiculous and she was perfectly fine.)

After settling Tai back in I climbed back into my bed and tried to enjoy the fact that Quynh was sleeping so long. But that only lasted 2 minutes. I peeked at her using the video monitor, but that does not allow me to see whether she is breathing. Knowing I would not sleep until I knew she was OK, I went in. I lingered just long enough to see her move her arm and then me and my aching engorged breasts went back to bed.

She woke at 7:15am and I ran to her at the first peep. I brought her into bed with me and she nursed long and hard. Let's hope she sleeps as well tonight.

My New Philosophy

I have this new method of keeping sane that I'd like to share.

Instead of walking by the giant tumbleweeds of dog and cat fur that gather up against the baseboard and thinking, "oh, this place is getting dirty" and "we really need to clean this weekend" I now stop, bend over, pick them up, and put them in the trash can. The most important part of this new method is that I don't seek the tumbleweeds out. This is not Active Cleaning. But if I happen to see one in my travels, I grab it.

Brilliant, right?

Who would have thought that I could have come up with this groundbreaking solution? It takes about 4 extra seconds and I only pick up one or two a day, but it keeps me from slowly growing more and more disgusted with the general state of the house and constantly thinking about about how much house-cleaning is on the horizon. It also has the added bonus of making the house look slightly more presentable in the event of a Neighbor Pop In.

Now if I could just bring myself (or my son) to do the same thing with the toys that are strewn all over the place I could stop grumbling about the state of the house entirely.

Lessons Learned (Maybe?)

This morning, while he was supposed to be getting dressed for school, Tai attempted to retrieve Emmit from the top of his bureau by standing on an ottoman, on tiptoes, reaching across an 18" span and fumbling around above his head.

He fell.

Naked.

Onto a wooden train.

I was nursing Quynh at the time, listening through the wall as a crying Tai told Minh what had happened. After some wailing and some exclaiming of "my penis!" when Minh asked where Tai had hurt himself, I found the two of them snuggled in Tai's bed, wrapped in a blanket. Man Time.

The lessons to be learned are many. (1) Don't reach for things on top of the bureau, (2) Don't stand on furniture, (3) Don't leave toys laying around on the floor, and (4) we need a better place to keep Emmit when he's off limits.

Love / Hate

Lately, I seem to have a Love/Hate relationship with many aspects of life, especially those related to motherhood. Here are some examples:

Coffee:

Each day I drink more coffee than I think a nursing mother really should and then feel guilty about it and start swallowing gallons of water in an attempt to somehow dilute the caffeine in my breast milk. Then I do the very same thing the next day.

Nuks:

I love that Quynh has recently started taking a pacifier. I love that it helps her sleep longer at night. I love that she'll suck on a nuk all night long, instead of my poor nipples. I hate that Tai is nearly 3 years old and still uses a nuk. I hate the thought that Quynh might also use hers well into toddlerhood and we'll be "the family whose kids still use pacifiers". Yet, I hate the thought of breaking Tai of this habit, possibly even more than I hate the thought of not breaking Tai of this habit. Perhaps I'll be packing his nuk when he goes off to college?

Pumping:

I really hate pumping. Yes, it's wonderful to be providing Quynh with breast milk each day, but there's nothing pleasant about the process of extracting that milk. The only bright side to it is that I get to go sit in a quiet room and read a book for 10 minutes, three times a day. It is a nice break from work. I'm thinking about switching Quynh to formula, but not telling my boss. Then I'll continue to take my three breaks each day, but use the time to read and drink copious amounts of coffee.

Working:

Speaking of work...I could absolutely not be a stay-at-home mom. Caring for two kids all day every day would exhaust/bore me more than I can imagine. I adore my children and love spending time with each of them. Just not 24-7. Work provides a nice "break" from the little ones and the chance to talk to other adults. Oh, and it provides money. Can't forget about that little detail. On the other hand, it is Work. 'Nuf said. I think what I need is to be independently wealthy so I can stay at home, but still send my kids to daycare.

West Virginia, Part II

Quynh's thoughts on travelling:

Milk tastes good, whether having it:

in Logan Airport,
on a plane,
in a hotel lobby,
in a restaurant,
in a hotel room,
or in the reptile house at the National Zoo.

Napping is delightful, whether doing it:

in the ergo,
on a plane,
in a rental car,
in mama's arms,
on daddy's lap,
in the wrap,
or in a hotel bed--on crisp white sheets, under a fluffy down comforter.


No matter where I am, things that make me happy include:

sitting on daddy's lap,
riding around in the ergo,
getting complete strangers to make silly faces at me,
and watching my brother act a fool.

West Virginia, Part I

Our Trip, as seen through Tai's eyes:

Major excitement at the presence of tunnels and overpasses in Boston. We just don't have those things out here in cow-country. "Mama! Another tunnel!"

Upon arrival at the Logan Economy Parking Lot: "I can't see West Virginia! Where is it?"

Hanging out at Logan: pizza, smoothies, rides on the escalator, chocolate from grampy, and watching plane after plane take off. Sitting on the tarmac: "Are we taking off yet?"

In flight (at naptime): shoes off, headphones on, channel surfing on his own private TV. Snacking on water and Jet Blue cookies. Tired, but too excited to sleep.

Rides in the hotel elevator, "Which number you want? Up or down?"

A bowl full of hard candy in the hotel lobby......so many flavors, so little time.

Swimming in the (outdoor) hotel pool until his lips turned blue.

At the wedding: (loudly, during the ceremony) "Are they married yet? Why are they getting married? Why are they doing rings? Where's the dancing part?"

At the National Zoo, "Daddy, look! Pigeons! This is a special treat to see all these birds."

Tuesday morning. K to T: "Today we're going to the airport to get on a plane and fly home. A Jet Blue plane." T to K: "Oh!! I LOVE Jet Blue planes!"

Sitting on the tarmac in DC for way too long: "Are we taking off yet? Will there be a snack this time? Where's the snack? I see the engine!"

Five minutes into the drive from Logan to South Hadley: sound asleep in his car seat.

Mountain Mama

We'll be taking the Mass Pike, an airplane, and (perhaps) some actual Country Roads to West Virginia on Saturday.

It's our first trip as a family of four, Quynh's first plane ride, and Tai's first time getting his own seat on a plane, like a big kid. He doesn't remember his previous plane rides, so he's very excited for this one. Too bad he keeps pointing to the peg-legged, patch-eyed swash-buckler on his jigsaw puzzle and asking me if that's who is going to fly the plane. Think he'll be disappointed to learn that pilots and pirates are not one in the same?

After attending a wedding (about which Tai is also very excited) in West Virginia, we'll spend one day in DC and hopefully tour the National Zoo.

Sadly, in this time of just-back-to-work, water in the basement, still not getting quite enough sleep, I have not had a chance to start packing for this adventure. The Type A in me is thoroughly disappointed by this.

Wish us luck.

Day One

Woke up to an alarm clock instead of a Quynh fussing or Tai announcing, "It's time to wake up!"

Showered.

Put on maternity pants (sigh) and long loose fitting top carefully selected to hide belly, and fact that pants are intended for pregnant women.

Finished packing four lunch bags just in time to hear Tai emerge from his room.

Breakfast.

Took way too long selecting Quynh's outfit for the First Day of School, all the while knowing how ridiculous I was being. Somehow, it had to be cute, but not so cute that anyone would know I had put thought into it. I wanted her to be able to pull off the coy, "oh, this old thing?" look.

Nursed Quynh. Burped Quynh. Spit-up everywhere. Changed self into Carefully Selected Outfit #2. Changed Quynh into Outfit Number 2, less carefully selected.

Family of four out the door, only 15 minutes past Goal Time.

Arrived at work.

Chatted.

Pumped.

Tended to personal emails. Read work emails.

Ate "lunch" (10:30am).

Read more work emails.

Pumped.

Chatted. Looked over work To Do list (updated last on May 27th) and tried to remember what it is I do for a living.

Took care of a little online shopping.

Pumped.

Picked up kids. Went home and played with Tai. Nursed a hungry and exhausted Quynh.

Dinner. Playtime. Bathtime. Bedtime.

Washed a mountain of dishes, bottles, and pump parts.

Fell into bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow (oh wait....not yet...maybe in about 30 more minutes).

The Beatles

Tai is in a huge Beatles phase at the moment. It started when he heard Yellow Submarine at school and has blossomed from there. Let me state for the record that I much prefer listening to the same 10 Beatles songs over and over in the car than just about any kids music. So I can't complain.

The other day, while Eleanor Rigby was playing, Tai suddenly said, "Mama, they have no friends." I asked who he was talking about and he said, "all the lonely people."

Milk Brain

They say nursing makes you spacey. It just might be true.

Last week I put both kids in the car, started the engine, rolled up all the windows, cranked up the AC, and was about to back out of the garage when Tai said, "Mama, close Quynh's!"

Although I was sure I had closed all the windows, I obliged him by hitting that button again, without looking back. I told Tai her window was closed and then put the car in reverse and was just about to back out when Tai explained, "No, Mama. Close her door!"

I had, indeed, neglected to close her car door. Good thing I keep Tai around to keep an eye on things.

Tai's Third Camping Trip

We're just back from our third camping trip as parents. Each year we manage to get to the DAR at least once and each year it presents new joys and unique challenges.

2007: Tai wanted nothing more than to roll around on the ground and practice trying to crawl. This proves difficult on a rocky campsite. He had to settle for sitting in camp chairs.

2008: Being 18 months old and walking, Tai had a much better time camping. He also got to bring a friend. This year's activities consisted of hikes in the ergo, collecting acorns, and throwing sand into the lake.

2009: Tai was once again accompanied by his good friend Natasha, but this time also by his 11-week-old sister, Quynh. Tai and Natasha hiked on their own feet, rode in a canoe, splashed in the lake, and imagined up all sorts of games around the campsite. Quynh happily sat in a lap, rode in the ergo, or relaxed in what is now her camp chair.

Ahhh....Toddlerhood

I am truly the mom of a potty-training toddler. I have picked poop off the floor and out of Finding Nemo underwear. We're getting there. Slowly.

A couple priceless examples of Tai's take on this process:

Last week when we arrived at school I asked Tai to tell his teacher about what he did on the potty that morning. He immediately rattled off, "I went pee on the potty and I tried to go poop, but I didn't. But mama did." Thanks for sharing, Tai.

This morning, Tai was watching a show buck naked on our new and very expensive couch. I noticed he was holding his penis so I asked, "Do you have to go potty?" and he said "No." So I asked, "Then why are you holding your penis?" and he said "I'm afraid to get pee pee on the couch." Smart kid. He knows fine furniture when he sees it.

Adventures in Potty Training

In our house, anyone who puts pee or poop in the potty gets to ring a bell. It's very exciting. And loud, so it let's the whole household know what's going on.

Yesterday morning before school, Tai peed in the potty, rang the bell, and then put on underwear. A mere 10 minutes later he peed while standing by the couch in the playroom. We rushed to the potty to see if he could finish there, but he told me that "I peed it all out in my underwear." We put on dry underwear and moved on. I tossed a hand towel down on the wet spot, stepped on it a couple times, and tossed the towel in the washer. A little toddler pee is no big deal, I figured.

That evening, we were all down in the playroom and Minh asked why the floor by the couch was wet. I recounted the story and explained that I must not have cleaned up very well after the accident. Minh grabbed a fresh towel, threw it down and stepped on it. And when that was soaked through he grabbed another towel and did the same. And then another. After he had soaked 4 or 5 towels we decided we either had a kid with the world's largest bladder or there was some secondary source of dampness.

Minh did the Sniff Test and determined that the cats had not taken it upon themselves to mark the spot where Tai had peed (whew!)

Then he went in the utility room (to get another towel) and found water all over the basement floor. Rain was literally streaming in by the bulkhead door. So....after living here for 6 years with a bone dry unfinished basement, we now have a sopping wet finished basement. Awesome.

Minh stayed up till 3am last night using the shop vac to suck up as much as he could, while the rain continued. Due to those efforts, we seem to have contained the wetness to one corner of the playroom. Luckily, the company that did the work "guarantees" it and will come out soon to assess the situation and make a plan to resolve problem. But, somehow, even after living without a playroom for so many years, the thought of living without one for (days? weeks? a month?) is horrifying.

The good news is, Tai kept his underwear dry all morning at school. And the Potty Bell was rung last night before bed and again this morning. We're getting there.....

Places I've Recently Found Baby Poo

on the back of my hand,
on Quynh's foot,
on the sleeve of my sweatshirt,
on the sheets of my bed,
and (occasionally) inside a diaper.

Quynh's Birth Story

I've had two children and two unmedicated births. But I can only take "credit" for the first one. Quynh's birth was so fast that they wouldn't have given me an epidural even if I had bribed the anesthesiologist. Still, her story will be told.

On May 27th, I tucked Tai into bed and said, "stay in your room until your night light turns off" instead of "come find me when your night light turns off" because I had a feeling I might not be home at 6:30 the next morning.

8pm: Minh and I sat down to watch a movie. I was having some short, mild contractions. Not unlike what I had off and on for the previous months. Still, I wondered if I might be going into labor, as I watched a woman die during childbirth in the opening scene of Benjamin Buttons. (Not the best movie choice for the occasion, in retrospect).

11pm: We finished the movie, which ends with a baby dying (again, not the best film choice that night). At this point I was pretty sure I was in labor, though Minh was still not convinced. We discussed possibly needing to call someone to come stay with Tai, but Minh figured we wouldn't need to leave for the hospital until after breakfast the next morning. I disagreed and, in preparation for a long night, I ate a giant bowl of Cheerios and went to lay down and rest.

11:30pm: I got back up, certain I was in labor. Spent a few minutes convincing my husband of this fact. Next I called the doula to warn her that she too was in for a long, sleepless night. Then I got down to serious business -- washing dishes, changing the sheets on our bed, packing Tai's lunch for the next day, and ordering Minh around. Minh, finally convinced this was the real deal, ate a bowl of instant noodles and then opened up the Bradley Natural Childbirth book and began cramming for the final exam.

12:00am: Minh arranged for our friend Scott to come stay in our bed and take care of Tai in the morning. Then he called the doctor and described the nature and frequency of my contractions. They suggested I stay home a bit longer. Minh dutifully relayed this information to me and then promptly called the doctor back and told them that his wife said we are going to the hospital NOW.

12:45am: Scott arrived and greeted me with a big smile and a "hey, how ya doin'?" (Seriously? Men, I swear.) Minh gave Scott all the necessary instructions and we pulled out of the driveway around 1am. I rode the whole way to the hospital with my eyes closed (partially because I was trying to relax, but mostly because I was scared to see how fast Minh was driving.)

1:20am: We arrived at the hospital (in record time) and Minh endured 4 contractions on the way from the car to the childbirth center. Yes, Minh endured them. For him, this meant letting me throw all my body weight on him and moan and groan, in public, while he was holding two duffel bags, two pillows, and trying to act casual. The folks smoking their cigarettes in the parking lot outside the ER gave us funny looks, I think. But seriously, Minh was a rock star of a hubby during all this, making sure I had whatever I needed. He didn't even piss me off by cracking a stupid joke (this time).

1:40 am: I received the most wonderful news--that I was 9.5 cm along and could pretty much push right away.

1:45am - 2:55am: Lots of messy details no one needs. A grouchy OB, a wonderful husband, a helpful doula, and I somehow managed to get Quynh born. There was yelling and swearing as I attempted to educate the OB on my pioneer valley hippy-dippy views about unmedicated birth while giving birth. And then we forgot to ask for the placenta until after they had cleaned up the room and our doula went running out into the hallway to track it down. The folks at that hospital undoubtedly think we are truly weird.

7:30am: I talked to Scott and learned that, upon waking and finding him in our bed, Tai burst out with laughter. We had been worried that it would be traumatic for him to see someone else in our place, but apparently not. Minh then began to wonder if perhaps that was not the first time Tai has seen Scott in our bed. But Quynh looks decidedly Vietnamese, so no paternity tests have been ordered.

Friday May 30th: As we headed home as a family of four, we stopped at the nurses' station to say goodbye. They said, "come see us again sometime" and Minh promptly replied "hell no!" We are done. This will be the last birth story I write.

All About Tai

Yes, Quynh is a major topic of conversation these days, but I cannot neglect to share all the wonderful Tai stories of the moment. First, to answer everyone's most pressing question these days, Tai is a fantastic big brother and is very sweet with Quynh. He's less sweet with me and Minh--frequently testing limits and throwing tantrums. But he's wonderful with his sister. Some of his favorite activities these days are:

(1) picking out an outfit for Quynh to wear
(2) petting Quynh on the head and holding her hand
(3) winding up her mobile and turning on her swing

The other day on the way home with both kids in the car, Quynh started crying pretty hard. Tai immediately started saying, "It's OK Quynh. We're almost home. Getting closer and closer." it was so sweet I almost melted.

Tai was fascinated with breastfeeding.....until he saw me pump. Now that is his current obsession. I often find my pump bag open with various parts strewn on the floor -- evidence that Tai was "pumping" without me. Last night at dinner he actually got in trouble for playing with his food -- he was pumping by shoving a hamburger roll up under his shirt. And here's a typical Saturday morning conversation:

T: Mama, can we pump now?
K: Yes
T: I'll set up the pumper!!!

But Tai's whole life does not revolve around his sister. He's still going to school 4 days a week and comes home with lots of stories about climbing, swimming, and playing with the other toddlers and even the pre-schoolers. He does appear to be 2 going on 14, however. His new favorite answer to most questions is "nothing" (pronounced "nuffin"). What did you do at school today? nuffin. What did you eat for lunch? nuffin. Who should walk Buttons this afternoon? nuffin.

Puzzles are his new favorite toy. And not those really easy baby puzzles, either. Real jigsaw puzzles. He has one of a farm that he does at least 3 times a day. Faster and faster each time. And when you sit down to do it with him he usually reminds you, "you have to start with the edges."

Finally, the fascination with trucks, construction equipment, and power tools continues, but is now matched by a concurrent obsession with dresses and tights. He's asked for tights a few times now and when we tell him we don't have any he asks us to buy him some. We may just have to. For dresses, size 4T t-shirts have sufficed this far. He likes to twirl around in them. But we are headed to a wedding in September and Tai has already requested that "mama wear a long dress and Tai can wear a long dress and we can dance!" So, for those of you who will be at that wedding, be prepared to see Tai in a dress and tights....with a HUGE smile on his face.

The First Month

Now that we have finished watching all five seasons of The Wire, I'll have my evenings free to do other things, like (a) housework, (b) sleep, or (c) blog. Try to control your excitement.

Quynh is already a month old, which means my leave is 1/3 over already. Time flies when you are parenting TWO kids. During the past month, I've learned alot about who Quynh is as a baby and how I've changed as a mother since Tai was born. Because everyone loves a numbered list.....

#1 Quynh is most happy sleeping on her tummy or her side (shhhhhh...don't tell! Minh even suggested we shave the hair off the back of her head so that the doctor thinks we always make her sleep on her back.)

#2 Quynh loves her daddy. Although I was predisposed to think any "smiles" at this point were still the result of gas, it does appear that she smiles in direct response to her daddy rubbing her head and playing silly games with her.

#3 I am sooooo laid back this time around (see item #1 above). I didn't even realize how laid back I am (or how uptight I was the first time) until I went to the hospital's New Parent Group and heard them all freaking out about how many hours to wait to nurse after having a cup of coffee (um, 5 minutes?) or what to do when the swaddle blanket gets dangerously close to the baby's nose and threatens to suffocate them (umm......nothing). It's adorable, really. They all seem so nervous to me. But last time around I fit right in, so I must have been that nervous too. This time I just lack the time or energy to worry that much.

#4 In some ways, we're more exhausted this time around. Taking care of Tai and household chores on top of infant care and (in Minh's case) work is pretty nuts. But in other ways we're not. I mean, Tai's been waking me up at 6am for as long as I can remember anyway. So it's not like we were snoozing till 10am on weekends before Quynh came along.

Overall, we're getting along just fine. Though it would be very handy if the second kid came with a third adult. Sometimes we just need an extra pair of hands.

Number Two

Quynh Mai was born on Thursday, May 28th, 2009 at 2:55am. She weighed-in at 7lbs 4oz.

No, you are not seeing double and I did not have twins. I just thought this was a good spot to showcase Tai and Quynh's "home from the hospital" pictures side by side. Quynh is on the left and Tai is on the right.

LEFT-overs

A couple months ago, we ordered Tai a table and four chairs for his new playroom.  Once the room was all done, Tai and Minh set to work assembling the furniture.  Adorably, they sat together on the living room floor and put together the table and three chairs, but the fourth chair could not be fully assembled, because it came with two front left legs (and no right right leg).  Luckily, Tai accepted the explanation that we needed to get a different part before we could use the blue chair.  Being just one kid, he was happy to have just the three chairs for a while.

I went online to the company's handy-dandy replacement part ordering website and ordered up a front-right-blue chair leg.  I triple checked the part number and hit submit.  Within a week, a package arrived.  It was another left leg.

So this time I called and spoke to a real person and explained which part we needed and gave her the part number.  Despite my being certain what is left and what is right, she suggested that I was mixing up parts 11 and 12 and decided to go ahead and send me both, just in case.  Within a week, another package arrived--this time containing both a left and a right leg.  So we now have one complete blue chair and two extra left legs.       

Then, a couple weeks ago, we made our first pilgrimage to the Promised Land of Inexpensive Furniture (IKEA) and bought, among other things, this for the playroom.  Finally, we thought, the playroom will be complete.  Not so.  The very first box Minh opened up, containing the centerpiece of the vast "storage system," included -- are you ready for it? -- two left walls.  No joke.  

After talking with the national IKEA customer service center, and the local store, Minh got them to agree to send us the missing part (originally they wanted us to drive our butts 1.5 hours to New Haven to pick it up).  Within a week, a package arrived.  Do I have to tell you what was in it?  Of course, it was another left-hand wall.  So, Minh called them back and explained the (still comical at this point) problem and they apologized and rush-ordered us another delivery.  This time, the package arrived in just 3 days.  Another left-hand wall.  

Seriously.  I could not make this up if I tried.

We have a call in to IKEA and are waiting to hear back.  We can only hope that they'll get it right this time.  And quickly.  If you know how Minh nests before babies arrive, you know it's killing him that we cannot finish organizing the playroom because of this one missing piece.   

Our house is now littered with extraneous left-hand parts.  If this keeps up much longer, we'll be ready to open our own children's furniture store.

Toddler Crack

I'm not sure what that put in the food at McDonald's, but it sure makes Tai happy and pleasant to be around.

This past weekend, after a trip to Home Depot to return the heavy machinery that Minh could not resist renting, we stopped at McDonald's for an afternoon snack.  Although he initially requested mac-n-cheese, Tai was really very pleased with his Happy Meal of McNuggets, apple slices, and chocolate milk.   He also scammed a few fries off our tray, of course.  What's not to like about a meal that involves three (!) dipping sauces (ketchup for the fries, sweet-n-sour for the nuggets, and caramel for the apples)?

Now, we've been to this particular McDonald's once before and learned (the hard way) that Tai cannot focus on his food if we sit in the room with the indoor play structure.  Thinking we were being slick, Minh went and grabbed a high chair out of that "kids room" and brought it into the main part of the restaurant.  While eating, Tai was very pleasant and happy to sit in his high chair at the table, periodically offering to share his apples with us and asking very politely for "more fries, please."  He did steal a few glances through the giant glass wall at the kids playing in the other room.  But he said nothing and continued eating.

When the meal was about to come to an end.  Tai announced, "I want ice cream."  When we said that were not having ice cream, he pointed to the older man sitting in the next booth, enjoying a sundae, and said (loudly) "That man have ice cream!" as if to make sure we were aware that McDonald's does indeed sell ice cream.

"Yes, he does," we explained,  "but we're not having ice cream."  Surprisingly, Tai readily accepted this fact.  Then he pointed through the glass wall to the play area and said "I want to climb on that big climber now."  (And I think I heard him whisper under his breath, "Did you think I couldn't see it?  Idiots.")

But the Toddler Crack was already coursing through his veins and he happily accepted our answer of "No, we have to go home now."  Honestly, he was grumpy and whiny for much of the weekend, but the time we spent in McDonald's was peaceful and pleasant.  I know they are evil and the food is not good for you, but we can still eat there, right?

The Final Descent

As we enter the home stretch of Pregnancy #2, Minh and I each have our own way of preparing.  Some examples:

Minh recently stayed up until 2am assembling IKEA bookshelves for the new office.  (Because, obviously, if the baby arrives and the books are not organized, she's going to be *pissed*).

Even though I plan to nurse for the first few weeks before pumping any milk, I am freaked out that I cannot locate my pump *right now* and even called Minh at work the other day in a slight panic to ask him if he knew its whereabouts.

Minh ordered 10 yards of mulch and is renting some heavy machinery this weekend (anyone shocked?) in order to get it all spread in one day, and before what's-her-name arrives.  Honestly, a smarter man would wait until after the baby arrived and then use this as an excuse to get out of the house.

I attended a Savory Suppers session and assembled 6 meals.  Between those and our usual supply of "quick dinners," the freezer is now stocked and ready.

I'm hoping to stay pregnant long enough to have tea out with my friend next week before life is turned upside-down. I think Minh is hoping he gets to finish watching the NBA finals.

We are both, however, looking forward to the arrival of our daughter.  I can't wait for heartburn relief, backache relief, and the occasional glass of wine.  Minh can't wait to have his non-pregnant wife back so we can move five tons of wood pellets into the basement. 

I am currently 36 weeks and 4 days pregnant.  I went into labor with Tai at 36 weeks and 5 days.  Surely, this means that this little girl will be 2 weeks overdue and we still have a long way to go......(and plenty of time to locate that pump!)

The Continuing Big Boy Bed Chronicles

After a few rough nights of Tai waking in the wee hours and insisting on climbing into bed with us, we decided something needed to change.  So we plugged a night light into a timer (like you'd use for Christmas lights) and placed it on his dresser.  We explained that whenever the night-light was on, it was time to be in the bed -- i.e., no getting out of bed in the morning until it has turned off (6:15am).

And he bought it.

Now, each night at bedtime, he gets excited to see that the light is on, and explains to us that this means it's bedtime. And when I kiss him goodnight and leave the room, I remind him to stay in the bed all night and then come get me when the light turns off.  And he does.  For Tai, this system works like a charm.

These days, I am often woken by the sound of his bedroom door opening.  Some mornings he walks right into my room and announces, "mama, my night light turned off!  it's morning time! want to see?"  Other days I hear his door open and then.....nothing.  These are the days he has knowingly broken a rule by exiting the bed with the nuk still in his mouth and Emmit still clutched in his fist. On those mornings, I find him sitting in the hallway between our rooms, staring off into space, caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.

Either way, he's staying in his bed all night, consistently.  Let's hope this keeps up when Baby Sister gets here and he discovers that she gets to sleep in our bed.......    

Parent Teacher Conference

This morning we had our spring semester parent-teacher conference at Tai's "school".  The spring conferences are optional, but what parent wouldn't sign up to sit and hear someone tell them how wonderful their child is for 30 minutes?  It was all about seeing lots of pictures of Tai having fun at school and hearing what a great kid he is and how he fits into the group dynamic.  What we heard is this:

• He fits into the group very well.  She could not find any pictures of Tai playing by himself.  This comes as no surprise, as at home we constantly hear, "mama (or daddy), can you play with me?"  The only things he manages to do solo are sleep and watch TV.

• He throws (and attends) numerous tea parties each week.  (He's really into the finer things in life).

• He is the "class clown" and attempts to dominate all mealtime conversations.  (Shocking, I know).

• He has no interest in dressing or undressing himself, but is happy to let a "staff" of other children do it for him.  (Those were, perhaps, the best photos.)

• He has excellent rhythm and likes to play the drums.  (Obviously, he gets that from me).

• He's not the most agile kid in the class (unless tripping over your own feet is a special form of agility.)

FINAL Renovation Haiku

The house is all done.

The dumpster is gone.  Next task:

Trip to IKEA.

The Statute of Limitations has Passed...

....and it is now all right to joke about the fact that I "let" Tai fall down the stairs yesterday.   He appears to be fine and it has been nearly 24 hours, so joke away.

Interestingly enough, *every* time I am pregnant, Tai falls down the basement stairs.  Last time, it was our old, un-carpeted stairs with a cement floor at the bottom.  Luckily, he was protected by the fact that he was still in-utero.  This time, I could not protect him, but at least everything was carpeted.  

I guess maybe I should stop getting pregnant.

The Big Boy Bed Chronicles

April 14th (night #1): Tai happily climbed into bed and slept soundly all night.  He was discovered at 7am the next morning, sitting up in bed, chatting away to himself.

April 15th (night#2): An exhausted Tai skipped bath time and went right to bed after dinner.  He was next heard from at 6:30am, sitting on the top step of the stool at the foot of his bed.

April 16th (night #3): Iwas suddenly woken at 4am by the sound of my bedroom door latching shut.  While my half-asleep brain was trying to figure out how a cat (or dog) could possibly manage that feat, Tai toddled over to my bedside.  Nuk in mouth and sippy cup in hand, he calmly announced something like, "I got out of my big boy bed."  When I offered to help him get settled back in, he became upset and insisted on sleeping with us.  After 10 minutes of trying to coax him back into his bed, I gave up and snuggled him in between me and Minh.  He fell right back asleep while I lay there worrying that I'd just set a very bad precedent.

My keen powers of observation tell me that he seems to be waking earlier and moving farther from the bed each night.  Surely tonight we will find him watching TV in the living room at 2am. 

Scene from Arizona Pizza Company

Tonight the three of us met up for dinner at the Hampshire Mall and this is the conversation that occurred at the table:

Tai: I want dessert.
Kathy: Well, let's eat dinner first, OK?
Tai: Daddy, you want dessert?
Minh: Maybe. But I want to eat some pizza first. Let's look at the menu, OK?
Tai (desperately trying to gain an ally): Mama, you want dessert?
Kathy: Not right now, I want my dinner first.

Waitress: Hello, how are you all tonight?
Tai (directly to waitress): Can we have ice cream?
Kathy: Let's have pizza first and then we'll see.
Tai (ignoring Kathy and speaking only to waitress): I want dessert.

In the end, after everyone had eaten some pizza, we did order one dessert to split three ways. The newest addition to Tai's ever-expanding vocabulary? "cheesecake."

Mini-Vacation Mini-Post

Here's a bullet-list recap of our weekend get-away.....

• Talking about work over dinner is better than talking about the kid, right?

• Mass MoCA is worth the drive.

• I was asked "when are you due?" and "is this your first?" about 14 times. And all 14 times I resisted the urge to say "I'm not pregnant" just to see their faces turn red.

• When I answered "June 1st" to the due-date question I shocked one woman because of how "tiny" I am and I shocked a man the next day who said "woah, don't you think you might go earlier than that?"

• I only almost made us jump in the car and drive back to (sick) Tai once.

• No matter how tasty the food, it's hard to make up for a one hour wait for a table and grouchy service.

• When cooked with enough butter, salt, and cheese, grits are actually really yummy.

• When in doubt of what to do next, buy stuff for your kid(s). (Carter's Outlet, oh yeah!)

• The smell of freshly finished wood floors lingers for a *very* long time.

Renovation Haiku #3

Painting is finished.

Carpeting in on Monday.

Bathroom done today.

Big Time Nesting

Lately, nesting = shopping.  

This past weekend we ordered Tai's Big Boy Bed (and dresser) and it should be arriving sometime in mid-April.  The best part about this new furniture is that it's called the "Morgan Captain's Bed".   How could we resist buying our son a bed that's practically named after a rum? Tai knows we've ordered it and is excited about the idea.  He also knows this means he's moving into the study, which is now called "Tai's New Room", or sometimes "Tai's Big Boy Room".

 

And, since our renovation to make our living room larger accidentally included making our existing couches no longer fit, we've also been shopping for a new living room set.  Oh, fun.  Minh stumbled upon this unusual piece online.  

My initial reaction was pure horror.  

He then spent a few weeks trying to win folks over to his side by showing them the picture online, but to little avail.  Some of them were polite in their criticisms of it.  Others told him it was plain old Fugly.  But I agreed to go see it in person and give it a chance.

And maybe it's better once you meet it?  Or maybe I'm just ready to be done looking and buy something?  Not sure, but we're very close to purchasing this "2 piece sectional" as well as this ottoman that actually slides in to make this couch even more like a giant bed.  They fit together like Pangea.  It's either really tacky or really cool.  

Then, since the occasional guest needs someplace to sit that will allow them to actually keep their feet planted on the floor, we figured we've sit two of these in front of the bay window.  They swivel, which will undoubtedly delight Tai to no end.

Finally, we'd like to get this for in between the swivel chairs.  As Tai pointed out this morning you can put toys inside it and you can put your snacks on it.

 

R&F's sales tactics being what they are (aggressive) this entire order is already entered into their computers.  All we have to do is call them up and say "go" and arrange a delivery date.  So yesterday Minh made life-size paper cut-outs of all this stuff and laid it out on our living room floor.  Now all we need to do it stare at it for a few days and decide what to do....      

(Next phase of nesting = clearing out the study.)

Mom of The Year Award

Yesterday I was trying to rush Tai out of the house for a dog walk, while he was interviewing the flooring guy about each tool in our living room. Finally, I had everything ready: the dog, the leash, the stroller, jackets, clogs, hats and mittens. I asked Minh to take Tai out to the stroller while I dealt with the dog. As they reached the bottom of the steps into the garage I heard Tai calmly announce, "I walking in my socks."

Yes, I had neglected to put shoes on his feet.

Renovation Haiku #2

Bulkhead tomorrow.

Sheetrock makes rooms feel smaller.

Painting starts next week.

Weekend Quotations

Some notable quotes uttered during our weekend of taking care of Tai and his good buddy, Natasha:

T: "My penis huuuuuuurts!!"

N: "I hurt my tushy."

N (on phone to her parents): "I hit Tai. I had time-out."

K, to N: "Say, 'sorry, Tai' "

T: "Sorry"

K or M: "Who wants to...."

T & N: "Me!" "No, Me!" "No, Meee!" "No, MEEEEEE!"

T to N, or N to T: "I still using that!" (often in reference to a toy that was lying 15 feet away on the floor)

T: "Waaaaaaaaahhhh!"

N: "What's wrong, Tai?"

T: "Tasha, you have pink medicine on your bib."

K & M (nearly constantly): "Who wants to go potty?" "Who's turn is it to go pee?" "It's time to use the potty." "Who wants to try to poop?" "Do you want to use the red potty or the ducky potty?"

Stranger in restaurant: "Are they twins?"

K (out loud and smiling): "No, no. He's ours, but we're just babysitting her."

K (internally and horrified): "Oh my god, no! I can't imagine how anyone survives with twins!"

M: "I'm ready."

K: "For what?"

M: "A vasectomy."

He's Officially Too Smart for Me.

This morning, while getting dressed for school, Tai asked to watch some specific TV shows that are not on until about 10:30am.  I told him no and explained that:

(1) It was time to go to school,

(2) Those shows were not on at the moment anyway, and 

(3) We only watch those shows when we stay home sick from school.

After only the briefest moment of consideration, Tai announced, "I not feeling well.  I sick".

Get-away Booked

Thanks to everyone who offered advice on this topic.  We are indeed taking our friends up on their offer to watch Tai for an entire weekend (I hope they know what they signed up for!) and have a grown-up weekend to ourselves.  It's a hectic time at home right now and maybe not the best time to take off, but I figured we'd better do it before spring because who's ever gonna volunteer to watch two kids all weekend?

We're headed to Lenox, MA for two nights at a B&B in early April.  Hopefully this will help me get over my reluctance to stay in B&Bs (I've always been a large-anonymous-corporate-hotel kind of gal).  I loathe the idea of having to sit at a large table and eat breakfast with people I don't know and, possibly, even have to make small talk.  Ugh.

But I am whole-heartedly looking forward to this trip -- especially since the B&B has already sent us an extensive list of places to eat and things to do.  Is it April yet?

Renovation Update (and my kid is soooo cute!)

The fireplace is long gone, the playroom is all framed, and the plumbing is roughed in.  Before long, we should have a very large hole in our kitchen floor as well.

Buttons has been temporarily shipped off to Hadley, MA to sleep on exotic dog beds, harass different kitties, and take walks with her buddy Arrow.  Poor Smudgie cowers under the futon all day long.  He actually took off mid-breakfast this morning when the contractors arrived, not to emerge from the study until they leave.  Nibbles sleeps on the futon all day and doesn't give a shit about any of it.   

Each morning Tai looks out the front window in anticipation of the arrival of two pickup trucks.  And when the contractors enter the house he greets them with an enthusiastic "Hi Don! Hi Kenny!"  and, occasionally, an "I'm Tai!" (as if they don't know by now).  He then tries to pepper them with questions about what they are doing and the tools they are carrying, but they are too fast for him.  By the time he gets out, "Don, why you have..." Don is already halfway down the basement stairs.

Each afternoon we inspect the progress that has been made.  Tai is beside himself with this new development of Being Allowed in The Basement.  He's either going to be a contractor or a gymnast, for sure -- he's very much into examining the tools and walking along piles of 2x4s.  If he tries to stick the landing, we'll know which path he's chosen.  And yesterday afternoon he decided that his orange plastic slinky is actually a measuring tape.  He repeatedly held it up to the plywood wall where the fireplace used to be and announced, "I measuring playroom!!"  The game of "measuring" every inch of the house then lasted a good 30 minutes.

Practically our own Branch of the Public Library

As part of our preparation for construction, Tai and I organized the books and toys in his room this past weekend--and promptly realized that his bookshelf is full beyond capacity.  The books pictured below are just the ones in his room.  He has others scattered around the house and some of the very babyish ones are already set aside for his sister. 

Looks like we're gonna need a bigger shelf soon.  Since many of these were gifts and hand-me-downs, let me make a public plea.  Please, no more books for Tai.  At least not until we get some nice big shelves set up in the playroom.  I smell a trip to IKEA.....

Renovation Haiku

contractor chosen.

the big day is next thursday.

basement purging time.

Bravery Bribery

Saturday I took Tai to a local Butterfly Conservatory.  That morning I told him where we were going and he was so excited.  Five minutes into the 35 minute car ride he stated that we were "almost there" (which is clearly the first step toward the dreaded "are we there yet?" phase of life).

Walking into the place, he stopped to show me each and every picture of a butterfly.  On the sign out front, hanging in the cafe, on the coffee mugs in the gift shop, etc.  After happily looking at the frogs and birds and lizards in tanks that they (inexplicably) display just before you enter the butterfly room, we entered the main conservatory.  Instantly, thousands of angry butterflies attacked us with their razor sharp teeth.  Wait, actually I think 2 fluttered over and landed on my sleeve.  

Tai flipped out.

I've seen an adverse reaction to the butterfly room once before (you know who you are, Lee) but this was much worse.  "Up! up! uppy up!" he demanded the safety of my arms.  But even that wasn't enough to calm him down.  "I don't want it! I don't want it!" he exclaimed and his cheeks turned pink and the tears welled up in his eyes.

So we retreated to the safety of the room with the frogs, birds, and lizards contained behind glass.  We spent the next 30 minutes viewing those creatures, having a snack, and talking about how gentle the butterflies were and how he needed to be brave and go see for himself (I had paid $10 admission and was going to see some butterflies, dammit!)  He was not really buying it--each time I went near the door to the conservatory he bucked in my arms.

Finally, I decided to try good old fashioned bribery and asked him if he wanted some "Butterfly Bravery Beads" (they sell cheap Mardi Gras beads in the gift shop for $1).  A long time fan of sparkle, he, of course, wanted some beads.  So I managed to convince him that all we needed to do was go in and briefly say goodbye to the butterflies and then we could get some beads.  He totally bought it.  Sucker.

Once I got him in there, I kept moving constantly so no butterflies would land on us.  In the end, we were able to spend a good 20 minutes in there and he almost enjoyed himself, though he would not leave the safety of my very sore arms and he did flinch anytime a butterfly got too close.

He happily wore his beads all the way home. 

Let There be Food

I can't really cook, even on a good day. And I'm fine with that because Minh can (and usually does). Lately, I can barely even throw four things in a lunchbag for Tai. Let's blame the pregnancy? Or the recent illnesses being passed around the household? Whatever the reason, I can't really think more than about 20 minutes ahead of the present moment.

So when 5pm rolled around today and we suddenly realized we had no plans for dinner, I suggested making "breakfast" but Minh was not feeling it. So we decided that I'd heat up some something frozen from Trader Joe's while Minh and Tai read books. (Gone are the days of me doing anything in the kitchen without Tai pawing at my thighs asking to be picked up to "see stove" or "see something in sink"). So, knowing I only had 10-15 minutes before Tai grew tired of reading with Daddy, I grabbed an assortment of items from the freezer and started warming them all up.

Without really thinking.

So tonight we dined on Mushroom Risotto, Creamed Spinach, and Mini Tacos. Blech. Each one was pretty good, but the combination of the three is just bizarre enough to turn your stomach. Right now our insides are wholeheartedly asking, "WTF?"

So after Tai went to bed Minh got into one of his cleaning/nesting zones. On top of throwing out a bunch of clutter and re-organizing a closet he took an inventory of the fridge and freezer, looked up recipes online, made a shopping list, and headed out to Big Y. He has "real" meals planned for us for the next FOUR days. Four days? Will we even be living here in four days? What will the world be like in four days? I just can't picture anything so distant in the future.

But, apparently, there will be food.

Pick a Theme, Will Ya?

The other day Tai must have been going a little stir-crazy from being cooped up in the house because he decided to (concurrently):

(a) wear his baby doll on his back "in the ergo"
(b) wear his cowboy hat (who says cowboys don't tote their babies on their backs?)
(c) play his little Asian drum (a-la Karate Kid Part II)
(d) fix all manner of things around the house with his toy hammer

This kid does it all, man. He does it all.

Bits & Pieces

We had the Big Exciting Ultrasound yesterday and learned that this baby has all the right parts in all the right places, including a vagina that looks (to me) like a foot. But I guess that is normal.

So, yeah, it's a girl.

First (and Last?) Getaway

Even though in my pre-motherhood days I scoffed at couples who waited until their child was over a year old before getting away for a night or two alone, here I sit with a two-year old son, having never left him with anyone overnight. Well, I've left him with Minh and Minh has left him with me, but we've never gone away together and left him with a third party.

So it's about damn time. We figure we need to hurry up and do this before the second one comes and we end up waiting two more years!

And we happen to have these wonderful friends (who happen to read this blog) who have offered to let Tai stay with them for a night or two while we escape. Their daughter is Tai's age and they go to "school" together, which means that (a) Tai will have a great time and (b) Tai will actually serve as entertainment for their daughter. I'm confident that the adults will be able to just sit back and relax while the kids play. They also have similar a parenting philosophy to us, and perhaps can even whip Tai's attitude into shape while we're gone.

So the plan is this: we dump our kid on them for a weekend and go away somewhere to relax. Then, a bit down the road, the dump their kid on us and do the same. A pretty sweet deal, really. Now we just need to iron out the details.

First and foremost, Minh and I need a place to go. I don't really want to drive more than an hour or two and we don't need all that much in the way of entertainment. A couple of nice restaurants, a comfy hotel bed (and no one to wake us up at 6am), maybe a movie theater or museum or some nice places to shop? Normally we are the outdoorsy type, but I'm guessing this trip will be sometime between now and April. And we're not skiers. Suggestions?.....Leave me a comment.