Renovation Haiku

contractor chosen.

the big day is next thursday.

basement purging time.

Bravery Bribery

Saturday I took Tai to a local Butterfly Conservatory.  That morning I told him where we were going and he was so excited.  Five minutes into the 35 minute car ride he stated that we were "almost there" (which is clearly the first step toward the dreaded "are we there yet?" phase of life).

Walking into the place, he stopped to show me each and every picture of a butterfly.  On the sign out front, hanging in the cafe, on the coffee mugs in the gift shop, etc.  After happily looking at the frogs and birds and lizards in tanks that they (inexplicably) display just before you enter the butterfly room, we entered the main conservatory.  Instantly, thousands of angry butterflies attacked us with their razor sharp teeth.  Wait, actually I think 2 fluttered over and landed on my sleeve.  

Tai flipped out.

I've seen an adverse reaction to the butterfly room once before (you know who you are, Lee) but this was much worse.  "Up! up! uppy up!" he demanded the safety of my arms.  But even that wasn't enough to calm him down.  "I don't want it! I don't want it!" he exclaimed and his cheeks turned pink and the tears welled up in his eyes.

So we retreated to the safety of the room with the frogs, birds, and lizards contained behind glass.  We spent the next 30 minutes viewing those creatures, having a snack, and talking about how gentle the butterflies were and how he needed to be brave and go see for himself (I had paid $10 admission and was going to see some butterflies, dammit!)  He was not really buying it--each time I went near the door to the conservatory he bucked in my arms.

Finally, I decided to try good old fashioned bribery and asked him if he wanted some "Butterfly Bravery Beads" (they sell cheap Mardi Gras beads in the gift shop for $1).  A long time fan of sparkle, he, of course, wanted some beads.  So I managed to convince him that all we needed to do was go in and briefly say goodbye to the butterflies and then we could get some beads.  He totally bought it.  Sucker.

Once I got him in there, I kept moving constantly so no butterflies would land on us.  In the end, we were able to spend a good 20 minutes in there and he almost enjoyed himself, though he would not leave the safety of my very sore arms and he did flinch anytime a butterfly got too close.

He happily wore his beads all the way home. 

Let There be Food

I can't really cook, even on a good day. And I'm fine with that because Minh can (and usually does). Lately, I can barely even throw four things in a lunchbag for Tai. Let's blame the pregnancy? Or the recent illnesses being passed around the household? Whatever the reason, I can't really think more than about 20 minutes ahead of the present moment.

So when 5pm rolled around today and we suddenly realized we had no plans for dinner, I suggested making "breakfast" but Minh was not feeling it. So we decided that I'd heat up some something frozen from Trader Joe's while Minh and Tai read books. (Gone are the days of me doing anything in the kitchen without Tai pawing at my thighs asking to be picked up to "see stove" or "see something in sink"). So, knowing I only had 10-15 minutes before Tai grew tired of reading with Daddy, I grabbed an assortment of items from the freezer and started warming them all up.

Without really thinking.

So tonight we dined on Mushroom Risotto, Creamed Spinach, and Mini Tacos. Blech. Each one was pretty good, but the combination of the three is just bizarre enough to turn your stomach. Right now our insides are wholeheartedly asking, "WTF?"

So after Tai went to bed Minh got into one of his cleaning/nesting zones. On top of throwing out a bunch of clutter and re-organizing a closet he took an inventory of the fridge and freezer, looked up recipes online, made a shopping list, and headed out to Big Y. He has "real" meals planned for us for the next FOUR days. Four days? Will we even be living here in four days? What will the world be like in four days? I just can't picture anything so distant in the future.

But, apparently, there will be food.

Pick a Theme, Will Ya?

The other day Tai must have been going a little stir-crazy from being cooped up in the house because he decided to (concurrently):

(a) wear his baby doll on his back "in the ergo"
(b) wear his cowboy hat (who says cowboys don't tote their babies on their backs?)
(c) play his little Asian drum (a-la Karate Kid Part II)
(d) fix all manner of things around the house with his toy hammer

This kid does it all, man. He does it all.

Bits & Pieces

We had the Big Exciting Ultrasound yesterday and learned that this baby has all the right parts in all the right places, including a vagina that looks (to me) like a foot. But I guess that is normal.

So, yeah, it's a girl.

First (and Last?) Getaway

Even though in my pre-motherhood days I scoffed at couples who waited until their child was over a year old before getting away for a night or two alone, here I sit with a two-year old son, having never left him with anyone overnight. Well, I've left him with Minh and Minh has left him with me, but we've never gone away together and left him with a third party.

So it's about damn time. We figure we need to hurry up and do this before the second one comes and we end up waiting two more years!

And we happen to have these wonderful friends (who happen to read this blog) who have offered to let Tai stay with them for a night or two while we escape. Their daughter is Tai's age and they go to "school" together, which means that (a) Tai will have a great time and (b) Tai will actually serve as entertainment for their daughter. I'm confident that the adults will be able to just sit back and relax while the kids play. They also have similar a parenting philosophy to us, and perhaps can even whip Tai's attitude into shape while we're gone.

So the plan is this: we dump our kid on them for a weekend and go away somewhere to relax. Then, a bit down the road, the dump their kid on us and do the same. A pretty sweet deal, really. Now we just need to iron out the details.

First and foremost, Minh and I need a place to go. I don't really want to drive more than an hour or two and we don't need all that much in the way of entertainment. A couple of nice restaurants, a comfy hotel bed (and no one to wake us up at 6am), maybe a movie theater or museum or some nice places to shop? Normally we are the outdoorsy type, but I'm guessing this trip will be sometime between now and April. And we're not skiers. Suggestions?.....Leave me a comment.

It Must Be Instinct...

How do kids know what to do with meat on a stick?  It must be some primal code written into our DNA.  We're born seeking out warmth, and milk, and meat on a stick.

The other night I set down a chicken satay skewer in front of Tai and prepared to explain to him that it is chicken that can be eaten right off the skewer.  I thought I might even have to demonstrate so he'd know it was food and not a toy.  But before I could even open my mouth he picked it up and started gnawing on it.  In fact, the boy who is not a huge fan of chicken these days ate THREE chicken skewers, presumably because it is so fun to bite meat off of a stick.  

What's Been Going On

Life's been busy and it's hard to find time to sit down and put any of our adventures/mishaps into writing.  (Though if you received Minh's holiday letter you got a whole year's worth at once.)  Anyway, here's a quick update on life-n-stuff:

• Tai just celebrated his second Christmas and birthday in the span of one present-filled week.  He's now a professional at tearing open gifts and officially has way too many toy vehicles.  You cannot walk through our living room without tripping over a backhoe, dump truck, or fire engine.

• Minh and I discovered Scramble (a word game on Facebook) and have spent a few recent evenings playing against each other.  It's a great way to spend time together, but not actually have to talk or even be in the same room.

• Baby Number Two now makes his/her presence know by doing back flips across my uterus several times a day.  We should be finding out the sex in mid-January (stay tuned...)

• Buttons has been without her dog-walker for over a week now, which has the effect of either (a) making me get my butt out and walk her or (b) making me not walk her and then feel very guilty about it, depending on the day.  Luckily, the young energetic dog-walker is due back next week.

• Minh and I have found the very best way to keep a house clean and tidy -- continually invite contractors and (even better) Realtors over to your place.  We did this weekly for about a month and the place looked fantastic.  After de-cluttering the place and talking with the Realtor about all the wonderful selling points of our house, I no longer want to move.

• Yes, we considered moving.  But the house we wanted is too pricey for our budget.  And yes, we considered massive renovations, but budget and time constraints have put that on the back burner as well.  It's looking like minor renovations will begin shortly.  Stay tuned for updates as we expand our living room and finish part of our basement.

OK, that's all I can think of for now.  I'll try to come up with some amusing tales of Life in South Hadley before too much longer...

Falling Behind

I'm keeping up at work, but falling desperately behind in my leisure activities.  I have a brand new book waiting to be read, a half-finished Netflix movie, and last week's episode of Grey's all waiting for me at home.  It's stressing me out.  

And here I am wasting valuable time at work.

Tonight I have to decide which leisure activity to "tackle" and get over with--taking into consideration the fact that I can only keep my eyes open for about 1 hour after Tai goes to bed. This is why it recently took me three sittings to get through WALL-E.  (Which is very good, by the way.  Please don't take my inability to stay awake during it as a poor reflection on the film.)

It's No Wonder We Love Our Neighborhood

We love our neighbors. They are friendly, helpful, and just downright pleasant. In the past we've relied on various neighbors for cat sitting, dog walking, pellet furnace filling, borrowed lawn equipment, and baby hand-me downs. And we like to think we return the favors whenever possible (at the very least we give them an annual event at which they can risk life and limb to de-clutter their woodsy yards).

Recently, we spent 48 hours in the Boston area for Thanksgiving and troubled one of our neighbors to feed not only our cats, but also the two cats next door, for whom we were responsible that week. He agreed without hesitation.

We returned on Saturday to find all four cats well fed, but also this on our front lawn:

If you can't tell, it's a four-foot-tall-light-up-mechanical-drumming-holiday-bear. It so tacky, right? Not the kind of thing we would ever put on our lawn. But there it was, all set up and waiting for us. Buttons barked at it and Tai fell in love with it right away ("bear! drum-drum-drum!"). So, of course, it stays. Apparently, our neighbor knew better than we did that we needed this thing. Our lives are now richer and more full of the holiday spirit. And I'm sure it will decorate our lawn each December for many, many, many years. Does this mean I have to apologize to my sister for making fun of her mechanical reindeer?

Increased Productivity

Well, since I promised, here is the review of the newest thing in hair care.  

I think it's working.  Minh is less distracted by my frizzies during staff meetings, which means he's more focused on his work, which means he's more productive, which means he'll most certainly be receiving a huge raise any minute how (just checking to see if Cate still reads this thing).

The thing that takes some getting used to with this new "system" is that there is no actual shampoo.  No, no, "shampoo" is now a dirty word (much like in Minh's first Christmas letter).  Instead I use the "cleansing conditioner" that does not strip my hair of its natural oils.  Bottom line?  My hair feels a little greasier than I'm used to.  But I guess the grease is what keeps the frizzies away, right?

My hair is indeed less frizzy, though I can't attribute it to any one part of the "system."   It could be the cleansing conditioner, or the leave-in conditioner, or the styling creme.  But it's certainly not the intensive hair repair mask or the texture balm because I have yet to use either one of those.  Yes, this "system" is really a bit much to handle.  Especially for someone who used a 2-in-1 shampoo for years.

I have since cancelled my membership in the system because I have more than enough styling creme and can buy the cleansing conditioner on amazon.com.  And I have never been comfortable with signing up for any "club" that will automatically bill me for my monthly supply of whatever.  I never even joined Columbia House to get my 10 CDs for a penny.

Would I recommend it?  Sure, if your frizzies are negatively impacting your life or the life of a loved one, go ahead and try it out.  But I think you can probably get away with just the basic bottle of stuff from amazon.

Beware the Brownies

Last weekend we took Tai to a local children's museum for the first time.  Since it was a cold Saturday morning, the place was pretty packed.  And Tai was most certainly on the far end of the age spectrum--I think he was actually the youngest kid there that wasn't sleeping in a sling.  But he had a rockin' good time anyway.  He "drove" the forklift, crawled through a tunnel, and climbed around on a very large structure covered in the most slippery carpeting ever.  

Unfortunately, Minh and I had to spend most of our time making sure Tai did not get run over by all the big kids.  When we weren't picking him up and shuttling him to safety, we were standing in front of him, directing older kids to go around him.  And I spent a fair amount of time just flashing them dirty looks (to no avail).

And you know who behaved the worst?  The ones who showed depraved indifference?  The hyperactive boys, right?  Nope.  It was the Brownie Troop.  Dressed in their little brown skirts and vests, and present in such large numbers, they took over the place like a little biker gang.  They were everywhere at once -- running, jumping, falling, and pushing Tai out of the way to get where they were going.  Two of the future Hell’s Angels even tried to shut a mailbox door on Tai's head.  Apparently, with all the knot-tying and flag folding, there is no time to earn a Regard for Human Life badge.   

The museum has several different play areas you can visit, and Minh and I became focused on making sure we stayed one step ahead of the Brownies.  When they showed up at the ambulance Tai was driving, we moved on to the post office.  When they caught up with us there and nearly decapitated Tai, we moved on to the bodega, etc, etc.   The Girl Scout promise must also include something about waging turf wars because these chicks were ruthless.  They would arrive at, say, the bubble blowing station, and express their annoyance that Tai was using it with audible sighs.  And once Tai gave up some ground by taking a step back, they would hit him in the stomach with a tire iron, take his lunch money, and ride off on their tricked-out Hannah Montana Huffy bikes*.   

The whole time, Tai appeared blissfully unaware of his several brushes with death at the hands of The Brownies.  But maybe he was not as oblivious as we thought?  Later that day I asked him if he had fun at the museum and what he had done there and he said, "kids!  kids jumpin'! watch out kids!"

 

*This part may be embellished 

The Next Blues Traveler...

My dad is really great at selecting gifts for Tai. Seriously.  He has a real knack for picking out the kind of thing that Tai will love and that will drive me and Minh crazy (I know, I know, that's exactly what grandparents are supposed to do.)

At the age of, oh about 8 months or so, Tai received his first musical instrument from my father-- a wooden recorder.  At the time, he was (thankfully) too young to know what to do with it.  But now he's figured it out and (when we agree to let him play with it) makes ear-splitting music all over the house with it.  I think this is just my dad's way of paying me back for all the time I spent trying to play Mary Had a Little Lamb on the flute-a-phone that our public school system handed out to every third grader in town.  (Who's idea what that?)

Anyway, the newest gift from "Grampy" is a harmonica.  When he first received it, Tai turned it over and over looking for the on switch and, upon finding none, declared "it broke."  But after a few demonstrations of how it worked, he started to get the idea.  Just barely.  In the days that followed Tai would periodically go find his harmonica and wave it around declaring "harmonica!" and "Grampy!"  And sometimes he'd try to blow air into it, being marginally successfully.  And it was terribly cute.  

And then one morning it happened.  Out of nowhere, he just picked it up and started playing it.  Really playing it.  And it was terribly cute.....for a while.  And now we get treated to concerts, regularly:        

So if anyone is a big Blues Traveler fan and wants to come over for some mean harmonica playing, just stop on by.  Minh and I will hand Tai the harmonica and sneak out the back door.  Just know that each time he stops and stares at you, he's looking for applause. 

I Missed You Too

I was away for three nights and four days.  And Tai hardly noticed.

I know, I know, he's not even two yet and I can't expect too much.  But still.  Apparently, a couple times while I was away he said to Minh, "Mama gone."  But that was about the extent of his concern.  We did talk on the phone a bit (usually while he was eating breakfast) and I got lots of "Hi Mama!"  and a few stories about his Adventures With Daddy.  But when I got back he couldn't even be bothered to stop what he was doing to say hello to me.  

After not having seen him since Saturday morning, I excitedly arrived at day care pick-up on Tuesday afternoon to find him playing outside in the sand with, what else, a toy backhoe.  He was walking across the yard toward the backhoe when he spotted me....and kept walking.  He settled in and started playing with the backhoe.   

OK, no huge smile and no running over to hug and kiss me. But what can I expect?  So I went over to him and squatted down in the sand where he was playing.  He looked up and, without even a glimmer of realization that I'd been gone and was now back he said.  "It's broke.  I need help."  (The backhoe at the ridiculously expensive child care facility was indeed broken.)

Our afternoon and evening was pleasant, but ordinary.  It was like I'd always been there.  This morning, however, as he was eating breakfast, he may have noticed that we were not talking on the phone and that I was actually there because half-way through the meal he looked right at me and exclaimed "Hi Mama!"

I'll take what I can get :)    

The Results Are In...

Tai was the most adorable kangaroo anyone has ever seen. Although he practiced saying "trick or treat" all evening, including saying it about 30 times while heading down our driveway toward our neighbors' house, he would not say it at ANY of the 5 doorsteps we visited. He did, however, demonstrate that a kangaroo goes "boing! boing!" for each and every household.

He very much enjoyed carrying his pumpkin-shaped bag around the neighborhood and delighted in selecting a piece of candy and depositing it in his bag, exclaiming each time, "I got one!" But he had no idea the candy was edible--and we'll keep it that way for as long as we can :)

For Tai, I think it was all about the novelty dressing up and going to "play" outside after dinner in the dark. And all his neighborhood friends were outside too! Next year, I fear, it will be all about the candy. (And we'll see if that lion costume still fits next year.)

Your Opinion Matters*

Tai's kangaroo costume from last year still fits, sort of. Sure, the sleeves ride up his arms and the elastic wristbands leave red marks on his forearms. But it still mostly fits. And it's damn cute.

But we were also just given a hand-me-down lion costume which fits better (and will quite possibly still fit next year). Our problem is trying to decide which he should wear this Friday to go trick-or-treating. I've posted photos (my apologies for the quality -- he doesn't exactly stand still, ever) for your viewing enjoyment and also so that you may answer the question below.

Kangaroo

Lion

Please indicate which of the answer choices below best describes your preference:






*Actually, we are not obligated to follow through on the results of this poll, We'll probably do whatever the hell we want. But this was a fun way to post pictures of Tai in two cute costumes.

Brunching All Over The Valley

When a member of your family wakes at 6am (even on weekends) and naps right after lunch, weekend brunches are clearly the best way to get together with friends. Case in point, this weekend we are heading to two such brunches. And looking forward to both, very much.

In both cases, Tai should be in a very good mood because (1) it's his favorite time of day (2) there will be food and (3) there will be other kids to play with. In both cases, Minh and I will be happy because of the Tai's good mood, the yummy food (that we don't have to cook!) and good company.

We missed the whole damn thing.

Friday afternoon we left work early to head to a 5pm wedding in Boylston, MA (which, according to Google Maps is 1 hour and 15 minutes from our house). We left at 3:30pm. Maybe cutting it a tad close. But Google Maps always calculates things as if you were driving the speed limit, so I figured we'd be fine. But instead of zipping down the pike at 75 mph, or even 65 mph, we inched across the state at an infuriating 12 mph, for many many many miles.

At 4:40 our friends, who had already arrived in Boylston, called and asked "Where are you guys?" "Stuck on the pike, of course, " was my reply.

At 4:50 I realized we were going to miss the beginning of the ceremony. "Oh, how embarrassing," I thought, "What if the bride sees us come in half-way through?"

At 5:05, a good 10 miles from the exit and still barely moving, I realized we were going to miss the whole thing.

When we arrived (at very nearly 6pm) they were packing up the folding chairs, the bride and groom were taking photos, and the guest were already enjoying cocktail hour. We snuck in and tried to play it off, but everyone knew we'd just arrived.

Sorry Kristen.

Not Exactly the Same...

Well, I missed Mel. Entirely. He has come and gone and I didn't get "discovered" and cast in his movie, nor did I glimpse him filming in downtown Noho from afar. No, I was home those two days taking care of a sick toddler and napping while he napped. Woe is me.

But today I did see a celebrity of a different sort. As I sat and stared at the numbers on my computer screen with glazy eyes, John Kerry was directly underneath me, on the second floor of my building. I glimpsed the back of his head as he was leaving, just as I headed downstairs to use the bathroom.

Just think, if I had decided to go pee a mere 30 seconds sooner, I could have bumped right into him in the hallway. That would have been something.

Mel's in town.

It's Friday, I didn't feel like packing lunch this morning, and I have been craving a burrito for a solid 24 hours. So Minh and I decided* to walk into downtown Northampton for lunch at my favorite burrito spot.

Coincidentally, Mel Gibson is in the area this week, filming Edge of Darkness. (They actually had an open casting call for extras in August, but since they were not seeking adorable half-Asian toddlers, we didn't attend.)

Say what you will about Mel and his movies, but I think it's pretty cool to have him filming right near home. The movie crew has set up camp at Atkins in Amherst (with lots of trailers inside of which I assume are real, live actors) and will also be filming next week in good old Sunderland, home of Frontier Pizza. And next Tuesday they are shutting down part of Main Street in Noho to film Mel exiting the courthouse and driving down the street. I may just have to get accidentally stuck in the craziness on my way to work that day, and need to pull over and watch the filming for a while.

And on the way to lunch today we saw a very fancy, dark-windowed bus drive by that most certainly contained Mel himself. Then we walked by a stalky man, lingering on a street corner, clad in all black with loads of camera equipment on his person and at his feet. Minh assured me that this man was paparazzi. There were also six more of these camera-clad folks ordering themselves burritos for lunch.

In addition, today must have been some sort of school holiday or half-day because the burrito place was overrun with middle-schoolers. They were everywhere--in line, at the counter, seated in booths. Some of them were pooling their money with friends to be able to split a burrito and a side of chips.

So what this all means is that, in a crowded downtown restaurant, Minh and I were the only ones over the age of 11 who didn't have cameras slung around our necks.







*Actually, I talked him into it. he's not a big fan of burritos. But he's a big fan of me, so he agreed.