Q Has a Mind of Her Own....

....and she's learning how to express herself. In addition to clapping, waving, and playing peek-a-boo, Quynh can now sign "more," "dog," and "book."

Quynh knows what she likes and has learned how to sign "more." She does this primarily for cheese and tickles.

Each morning she wakes (in our bed, see previous post) and leans over me to look at the floor next to the bed. Then she says "ga." I call Buttons over and Quynh points and exclaims "Ga!" (As if to say, "Yes, the dog! That's what I was asking about. Thank you, Mama.") Then today I was holding her as I walked by Buttons and she pointed and said "Ga!" she then slapped her thigh repeatedly (the sign for dog).

Finally, just now, I was trying to get her to settle down for nap. She had her nuk and her Skipt and the noise machine was on. I was rocking her in the glider, and shhhh-ing her. But she was resistant to the whole nap-time idea. She struggled to sit up in my lap, pointed at the pile of board books on the night stand and then signed "book." Adorable? Yes. Genius? Of course. Cute enough to make me give in and let her skip nap? No Way in Hell. I wish I knew the sign for "Nice try, Miss."

My Son, the Carnivore.

We’ve let Tai watch a few episodes of Life (which includes a substantial amount of death) and he’s now fascinated with animals eating other animals. He doesn’t care much for herbivores, except for the role they play as prey. He often wants to pretend to be lions or polar bears or komodo dragons and go hunting for meals. Poor Quynh usually gets cast in the role of unsuspecting ibex.

During breakfast one recent morning, Tai suddenly began explaining to me that “When polar bears eat fish they eat the whole thing – with eyes and fins and everything. But when we eat fish we take the eyes and other stuff off so all that’s left is..........fish.” Well said, I think.

Then yesterday when I picked him up from school, his teacher shared this gem with me. At Circle Time they were going to sing a song about spaghetti and a teacher asked, “What can we put in our spaghetti?” Tai said “duck!” One of the other kids cracked up laughing and exclaimed, “You don’t eat ducks! Ducks fly!” Tai immediately corrected the other child by explaining very matter-of-factly that you can eat duck, but first you have to take off the eyes and the feathers, and then cook it. My son, the gourmet chef.

My Daughter is Broken

Each night I nurse Quynh and rock her and put her in her crib around 7-7:30pm.

Then she wakes around 8 or 9pm (not long after we've rid ourselves of Tai). I rock her, or nurse her, or sing to her, and she falls asleep in my arms. Then I place her back in her crib. Often, just as she hits the mattress, she snaps awake and starts screaming. So I repeat the process until it "sticks."

It usually only sticks for an hour or so. By that time (1opm-ish?) I'm just about ready for bed, so my heart is no longer really in the fight to get her to stay in the crib. I usually try once more--nursing, rocking, etc., and place her in the crib. If she stays asleep, I hurry off to bed to get some rest before she wakes again. If she starts yelling, I give up and bring her to bed with me (where, inevitably, she falls immediately into a very sound sleep, without even nursing first). The girl just wants to be snuggled.

I can't really complain, because I'm pretty sure I "broke" her.

When Tai was a baby I read all the books and worried endlessly about his sleeping. I kicked him out of our bed at 5 months of age and worked tirelessly to make sure he could put himself to sleep (and back to sleep) in his own crib. There was a 2-week period when he'd wake at night and I committed to not taking him out of the crib, so I'd end up sleeping on the floor of his room, holding his hand through the crib slats so that he'd know I was there and be able to fall back asleep.

With Quynh I either don't care as much or just don't have it in me. When Baby Number Two starts crying at 9pm, not only am I more tired than I was during Tai's babyhood, but I also have to worry that she'll wake her brother if I let her "cry it out." But that's mostly an excuse. I'm just not able to let my babies cry. Never have been (hence the sleeping on Tai's floor for 2 weeks).

Everything started out the same. I kicked Quynh out of the bed at 5 months, putting her to sleep in her crib. But then I was all too happy to bring her into the bed when she woke to nurse. That first wake-up used to be at 2am. Then it was at midnight. Then at 10pm. And, now, it's at 8pm. There go my evenings.

The trouble all seems to have started when cold/flu season and teething hit at the same moment. When her wake-ups started coming earlier and more frequently I'd make endless excuses for her:

"She's sick this week and needs extra snuggles."

"She's all stuffy and needs to sleep in our bed, propped up on pillows."

"She's teething."

"She's teething again.

"She's still teething." (Where are the damn teeth?)

So now she's broken and I can't decide what to do. Part of me wants to "fix" her and part of me is just fine with the way things are. I mean, I get to *snuggle* a soft, warm baby all night long and I don't have to get out of bed when she wants to nurse! But I also no longer have the evening to myself and I fear getting up and taking a shower in the morning because I worry she'll wake and crawl right off my side of the bed (Minh is a very sound sleeper -- I have emerged from the shower to find him snoring and Quynh *standing* in the bed pawing at the paintings hanging above the headboard!)

I think we all know I probably won't do anything. I don't have it in me to let her cry, or sleep on her floor. And I'm not ready to run out and buy bed rails and declare us the official Family Bed type of folks. I'm going to keep blaming the teeth and hope it all works out. (And you can all laugh at me when I post again about the 3-year-old girl who won't sleep in her own bed.)

Squashed Imagination?

So by now anyone who reads this knows that I have a relatively strict policy of Not Lying to My Kids. (The whole Santa Claus thing excepted.) But lately I'm wondering if I'm too literal in some of my answers to Tai's questions and if that might be squashing his imagination.

I started thinking this when we were at the mall last week and there was a (person dressed as the) Easter Bunny upon which kids could sit and have their picture taken. We walked over to watch and asked Tai if he wanted a turn. He shook his head and asked me, "Is it real?" I wasn't entirely sure what he meant. Is that a real rabbit? Is the Easter Bunny a real entity? (Not being religious, we don't talk much about Easter and had not decided whether to play up the Easter Bunny thing or not.) So I said, hesitantly, "I think it's a person, dressed up like .....er....The Easter Bunny"

Now don't get me wrong. Tai has a pretty great imagination. He makes up stories and all manner of pretend play. And when he tells me Emmit is sick it's not like I say, "That's impossible, Emmit is a stuffed animal." I'm not that literal. But what I don't tend to do is talk about fanciful things like fairies, ghosts, monsters, leprechauns, or the Easter Bunny.

So, Easter. We will be coloring eggs. I love a good Art Project. And we will be (coincidentally) having brunch with friends that day. Easter Basket full of candy? Easter egg hunt? Discussion of The Easter Bunny? Undecided. And time is running out.