Blarney Two

Fat Pants

2012-01-31T20:30:00.010-05:00

I don't understand Fat Pants. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?

Not long ago I discovered that all of my work pants were way too tight.  I mean, I could just barely fasten them and when I did I was immediately uncomfortable and grouchy. So I figured I needed to lose a couple pounds. But that could take a few weeks, right? So I decided to get a couple pairs of stop-gap Fat Pants to meet my needs until I dropped a couple pounds and went back to my usual pants.

Also, I figured, it's only a few pounds I need to lose, so I don't need a serious diet, I'll just cut out junk food, including the (almost nightly) glass of wine and some-form-of-chocolate. In a few weeks, I'll be back in my regular pants. Right?

This does not seem to be how it works Instead, it went like this:

Purchased 2 pairs of Fat Pants and experience immediate relief.
Lost all desire to squeeze into old pants.
Lost all desire to lose a few pounds.
Drank lots of wine and ate lots of chocolate.
Can now ONLY fit into two pairs of Fat Pants -- regular pants will no longer fasten.

When I was wearing the Tight Pants and feeling uncomfortable all day long I was much more motivated to diet. Now that I am comfy in my Fat Pants, why would I bother? Actually, even when I was sausaging myself into my old pants from 9am-5pm, the motivation was only present when the Tight Pants were on. As soon as I'd get home from work I'd put on Comfy Pants and miraculously forget about the whole pants problem.  It's like I can only diet when I'm at work, and uncomfortable.

Like right now. I'm in my powder blue snowflake patterned fleece pajama pants (jealous?) and they feel great! So what's the problem? No problem! Bring me more wine and chocolate! No problem all the way till tomorrow morning when I have to dress for work.   And even then, I have the Fat Pants.

This all reminds me when a friend of mine gained her Dissertation Weight (it's a thing, really) and she went out and bought bigger clothes.  I remember she said, "I'm not getting fat, I just needed bigger clothes!" This is exactly my problem. The bigger clothes take away that sense of expanding waistline, thus all motivation to diet.

So the questions remain:

(1) How do I get motivated to get back into my old pants? Keep wearing them? Wear them 24/7 so I am always uncomfortable?

(2) How do I keep the Fat Pants from becoming the Regular Pants? Or, God Forbid, the New Tight Pants?

(3) How is this supposed to work? What am I doing wrong?

Necessity is the Mother of Learning to Operate Doorknobs

2012-01-27T20:20:00.028-05:00

At the ripe old age of 2 years, 7 months, Quynh had still not learned to operate a door knob. And why would she? With two parents and a brother to open doors for her, she had no need.

Until she moved into her Big Girl Bed.

The first few nights in the bed she slept like an angel, waking at the usual hour of 6:30am and softly calling to us or signing to herself to let us know she was awake.  We'd go in and find her still in her bed, playing with her baby dolls. The transition from crib to bed went so smoothly, I thought to myself, somehow forgetting my past experience.  Then, just like her brother before her, it occurred to her that she could simply get out of bed. Whenever. She. Wanted.

The next few nights, she woke early and decided enough was enough. No longer caged in her crib, she climbed out of her bed. But she was trapped in her room by her inability to figure out the enigma that is the doorknob. Logically, she knocked to be let out. One night Minh and I woke to the outrageously loud sound of tiny little knuckles rapping on a door at 2am. And then again at 5am.

This habit spread briefly to bedtime. A couple nights in a row, just after being tucked in, she would start knocking on the door. We found that if we opened the door and tucked her back in there were tears. But if we ignored the knocking it eventually stopped.

But then one evening it happened. We tucked her in and closed the door.  Less than two minutes later the door *opened* and Quynh came out, announcing, "Mama, I have to tell you a secret." Trying not to let my face betray the absolute shock and horror (and not even a hint of pride) I felt at her new-found ability to escape her room, I tucked her back in and told her to save her secret for the morning. She wept. And fell asleep.

For the next several nights, Quynh woke at the ungodly hour of anytime-before-6am, came out of her room, and wandered down the hallway. She'd come into our room, clad in feety PJs, nuk in mouth, stuffies tucked under arms, and blanky dragging behind her. She'd look up at me with those big black anime eyes and ask, "Can I come in your bed?"

And I'd say "No."

It's so hard to say no, but we learned with the first kid that we have to. So each time, we'd put her back in her room and she'd cry. But eventually she got the hint. She's still not sleeping all the way until 6:30, but this morning she stayed in her room (doing God-Knows-What) until then. Actually, I take it back. I know what she was doing. She has one of these things, where you scratch off the black stuff to reveal sparkly rainbow colors underneath. She adores it.  And at one of my recent 5am wake-ups (during which I found myself arguing with a 2 year old over whether and why she had to go back to sleep) I grabbed the notepad off her table and suggested she busy herself with that till 6:30am. Not the best decision, since I now find her sheets covered in little black flecks every morning. But at least she lets me sleep.

Now she has the cutest little night light on a timer just like her brother. And we're hoping she takes to that system as well as he did.  Tonight's the first night with the timer and she's pretty excited about it. Let's see what the wee small hours of tomorrow morning bring.

Welcome to the Big Leagues

2012-01-09T20:55:00.000-05:00

Quynh is (daytime) potty trained. She had been working on that, off-and-on, for a while, but a few weeks ago something just clicked and she got it. Do you suppose it had anything to do with the fact that in her PNP video Santa said, "I understand you've been asked to try to always make it to the toilet on time"? That Santa, he can be pretty powerful.*

Well, whatever happened, I'm thrilled that it did. She's 2 years and 7 months old and the only time she wears a diaper is overnight. I can practically see the End of Diapers Forever on the horizon.

Quynh's other milestone over the holiday break was learning how to climb in and out of her crib on her own. She frequently takes to her crib to "rest" (get a nuk fix). It's lovely that she likes to hang out in there, especially when we are making dinner. When she's done she yells, "Can someone get me out?!?" But one evening she did not call for help, but simply emerged from her room with a big smile on her face. Surely it was a one-time fluke, we hoped. But over the next few days she proved that theory wrong, easily climbing in and out at will.

So we got a sitter and went bed shopping. (Because I cannot imagine much worse than trying to make a decision about such a large purchase with two kids jumping on mattresses and asking me to play with them.) Quynh's only request was that we get her a "pink one". When we returned home and declared success, she asked a series of questions: "Where is it? Is it in the trunk [of the car]? Can I sleep in it? Is it pink?" We tried to explain that large items like beds have to be delivered and that for some strange reason pink beds are not that common.

So the bed arrives tomorrow and we're hoping the pink Hello Kitty sheets will take ker mind off the fact that her wooden bed is not pink but the color of, well, wood. Yes, tomorrow night my baby will sleep in her brand new Big Girl Bed for the first time. Yes, I am excited. And yes, I am little bit sad. But mostly I'm just wondering how she will handle sleeping un-caged. We all know how well that has gone in the past.

*I need to keep this in mind next year and start plotting what he can help me achieve in 2012.

Five

2012-01-04T20:30:00.028-05:00

I have been a mother for five years. I have been tired, overwhelmed, and angry. I have been energized, playful, and elated. I have yelled and waved my finger. I have whispered secrets and rubbed noses. I have lost my patience. I have used my imagination. I would not trade it for anything.

Most importantly, I have raised a five-year-old who is:

smart beyond my wildest dreams
interested in all types of music
an avid fan of mystery novels
amused by slapstick comedy
fascinated by animals
an environmentalist
determined to study all-things-prehistoric
desperate to own a microscope
hoping to one day do "real science experiments, with chemicals"
planning to (also) be an architect
the class clown
a good friend
practically a swimmer
generous
highly suspicious of Santa's existence
sweet and loving toward his sister (mostly)
sometimes shy
frequently frustrating.....but
always amazing

The Miracle of Birth

2011-12-31T22:50:00.000-05:00

Over the holiday break we went to the Museum of Science. Tai was, of course, fascinated by the dinosaurs, the Pompeii exhibit, and the gift shop.

But Quynh cannot stand and look at dinosaur skeletons for as long as her brother, so I brought her to what was one of my favorite exhibits as a child. The chick hatchery. Being 2 days before Christmas, it was not at all crowded, so we could stand right up by the window to the incubator and see all the little fluffy yellow chicks on one side and the un-hatched eggs on the other side. This was so luxurious, compared to my memories of field trips when 28 of us all tried to see in at once.

So she and I stood there and watched this one egg with a large crack in it. It began to wiggle. The museum staff member assured us it could still take hours for a chick to emerge. But a mere 5 minutes later a scrawny, wet, and tired chick emerged from the egg. Quynh was beyond excited. And I have to admit that I was pretty darned thrilled myself.

But after watching him/her struggle to stand, fall over, and flop around for 10 full minutes I was ready to move on. Quynh did not want to budge. Eventually, I decided to try to cajole her away from the chick display by enticing her over to the section on human birth.

She adored the mother-and-baby statue almost as much as she liked the models of fetuses at 2, 4, 6, and 8 months gestation. She kept asking to play with the "tiny babies".

Then she found the birth videos.

We walked into this little room with a TV screen and four buttons below it. The buttons were labeled Fetal Development, Vaginal Birth, Home Birth, and Cesarean. When we entered the room, the vaginal birth video was in progress. From my point of view, it was at a very exciting part. But Quynh found it boring at first. While the video showed a close up of the woman's face as she pushed and pushed and pushed, Quynh asked loudly and repeatedly, "Where's the baby???"

Then the camera panned down to Where The Action Is and Quynh exclaimed with apparent concern, "What's on her bah-gina?!!" I tired to calmly and quietly explain where babies come from (literally). I hoped she would not be horrified.

She watched intently as the baby emerged, was placed on the mother's chest, and was wiped clean with a towel. The video ended and she said, "Again!!!" Later, when someone was halfway through the home birth video, Quynh ran up to the TV and pushed the button to switch back to the vaginal birth movie. All told, I think she watched it three times before deciding to move on to another exhibit.

So while Tai learned about volcanoes, dinosaurs, and the solar system, Quynh learned, at the tender young age of two-and-a-half, about the miracle of birth.

Winter Market

2011-12-18T13:15:00.001-05:00

I used to think "Farmer's Markets" were all about vegetables. But I have learned over the past few years that they often include meat, cheese, honey, pastries, various other crafts, and live music.

Our town happens to have not-one-but-two outdoor summertime markets and not-one-but-two indoor winter markets. Excessive? Perhaps. But it means that chances are, when you find yourself sitting around wondering what to do, there is a farmer's market you could be visiting. We've lived here only a few months but have now officially been to each of the four markets at least once.

Yesterday morning we checked out the winter market held in the middle school cafeteria. Our kids were hesitant to get out of their PJs and into the car, but once we got there they had a blast. They headed right for the live music. Tai stopped and stared at the musicians -- enthralled but not moved to dance. Quynh is more of a free spirit. The music moved her to spin around in circles as fast as she could to the point of extreme dizziness and then stagger off into the crowd.

Minh took the time to visit all the tables and even purchased some Actual Vegetables. I, on the other hand, (1) finished my Christmas shopping and (2) bought coffee, cocoa, and a scone for our family snack.

And, of course, we ran into some friends. How could we not? The place was packed with young families, old townies, and everything in between.

Part of me pats myself on the back for introducing my kids to farmers markets, with their local organic produce. And part of me wonders about the example I set when I run right for the table with the chocolate croissants.

Racial Profiling

2011-12-11T15:00:00.003-05:00

My kids go to a "school" that employs both full-time teachers and work-study college students. To me, there is a clear distinction, but to my kids they are all "teachers." And there are so many work-study students in that place, that I can't keep them straight and am not sure I have even met them all. But I hear lots of stories about them from my kids.

One day, while picking up Quynh at the end of the day, I happened to catch the name of the student helping her with her shoes, Samantha*. I did not scrutinize Samantha's features, and apparently neither did Quynh. A few days later we were out to dinner in town and a group of young women entered the restaurant. Quynh immediately started yelling, "Samantha! Samantha! Samantha!" and pointing.

I scanned the group of women for Samantha, but the closest I found was another white girl with similar hair color and body type to Samantha. But who really looked nothing like her. Embarrassed by her yelling, I tried to quiet Quynh and explain that was not Samantha, though possibly looked a little bit like her.

All of this happened in the amount of time it took this group of women to walk into the restaurant, be seated at the table next to us, and order a round of scorpion bowls. (Because that's what college-aged women do at 5pm on a Tuesday, I guess).

************Fast-Forward About 6 Months*******************

The kids and I were in a Mexican restaurant for dinner the other night. It's a very casual place where you order at the counter, and lots of folks come in and out for take-out. Tai and I were still enjoying our tacos, but Quynh was done staring at her quesadilla and chewing on her straw, so I let her get down and walk around. She disappeared briefly around the corner, by the take-out counter, and then came running back, shouting, "Jose* is here! Jose is here!"

Oh geez. Jose is another work-study student at school. But I figured that Quynh had surely just mistaken some random Latino man (possibly even an employee of the restaurant) for Jose. This is going to be embarrassing, I thought, and possibly result in a long conversation on the way home about race, and genotype versus phenotype, etc. I am not ready for that.

Like Lassie, Quynh stood 5 feet from our table, begging me and Tai to follow her around the corner and see Jose with our own eyes. In an attempt to get myself out of a potentially embarrassing situation and having to say to some stranger, "You'll have to excuse my daughter, she thinks all Latinos look alike," I said to Tai, "I don't really remember what Jose looks like, so why don't you go see if she's right."

Tai hopped down off his seat and they both ran off around the corner. Seconds later they re-appeared, with huge grins on their faces, and Jose by their side. Jose waved to me and talked to the kiddos for a minute. They peppered him with questions, "What are you doing here? Where are you going now? Why???"

As I watched them staring up at Jose, star-struck, it reminded me of once seeing an elementary school teacher of mine in the supermarket. It's totally weird to see a teacher out "in the wild" and be reminded that they are people too, with their own lives.

The good news is my daughter is not racist. But she thinks all white girls look alike. ;)

*Names have been changed.

Candy Canes

2011-12-08T19:45:00.022-05:00

Last week we attended our town's annual holiday tree lighting event, complete with wagon rides, a barely audible middle school chorus, the arrival of Santa via fire truck, and Christmas Carols played by the marching band.

For Quynh, the best part was counting down along with the crowd "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" and watching the tree light up. After the initial cheering, she cried, "Again!" but no one else seemed to want to unplug it and start all over. The good news is that she gets to do this every evening when we get home from work and school in her very own living room. After (or while) fighting over who gets to flip the switch, she and Tai count backwards from 10 at the top of their lungs and then fill the living room with Christmas Cheer.

For Tai, the highlight of past tree lighting events has always been the marching band, but this year I think it was the simple joy of running around the town common and playing hide-n-seek with his friends. At dusk. In a dark green jacket. Making it impossible for me to keep track of him.

Upon his descent off the fire truck, Santa was swarmed by masses of kids, teenagers, and (pushiest of all) parents thrusting their toddlers in his face. All in the name of receiving a candy cane that you could just go buy anywhere.

Yes, we were in that mob. Caught up in a frenzy of BeatleMania-esque excitement, I too was holding out a hand for a candy cane, to give to Quynh. And Minh lifted Tai high up in the crowd and coached him, "Hold out your hand! Show Santa you want one!"

Candy canes in hand, we wove our way through the madness over to a slightly less crowded spot to watch the band. Both kids asked to eat their candy canes right away (an hour before dinner) and I said, "Of course!" Because what kid has ever finished a whole (full-sized) candy cane? I figured they would suck on them for 10 minutes and then get over it. After all, candy canes are not actually that good.

(You already know where this is going, don't you?)

I unwrapped both candy canes and handed them over. Then we tried to get a picture of our two adorable children with their festive treats, but Quynh kept hiding behind my legs desperately asking to be picked up and Tai was making a nasty face. "Ugh," said Tai after 3 licks. "These are mint. I don't like mint." And he handed his candy cane over to me as trash.

Quynh, on the other hand, has no problem with mint. Yup, you guessed it. While watching the band....she worked on her candy cane. After it fell on the ground....she ate it some more. When the other kids were all running around playing...she stood on the sidelines and nibbled her candy cane. On the way to the restaurant for dinner....she kept on licking the damn candy cane.

When we sat down to dinner it was about two-thirds gone and we had to forcibly remove the last third from her little fist. And there were tears. And screaming. In public. While people were trying to eat. To shut her up, I promised she could finish it after dinner. but this just meant that after each bite, throughout the whole meal, she asked "Now can I have my candy cane?" After she had eaten one won ton, a chicken finger, and two bites of something else, I gave up.

"Fine. Take the (friggen) candy cane." She won. But the meal suddenly became more pleasant, so maybe we all won.

As you have figured out by now, she ate the whole damn thing. I don't know why her capacity for sweets continues to surprise me. Someone remind me of this next time I am tempted to give her a treat before dinner.

Merry Christmas.

Enjoy the Silence

2011-11-16T19:56:00.001-05:00

The toddler room at school sent out an email last night announcing a three day experiment of Silent Drop-off. They asked that, for the rest of the week, when dropping of our children parents not speak. They suggested using gestures, sign language, and (when absolutely necessary) whispers.

It was framed as a pedagogical tool to "allow the voices of the children to be heard". But I think they are just trying to tell us parents we are loud and obnoxious and hang around chatting too long each morning. And I'm not going to contradict that notion.

Anyway, we did as told this morning. We prepared both kids for this new system and they both did amazingly well. Tai spoke not a single word and in fact held a lengthy conversation with one of the teachers using sign language. Quynh started off whispering, "be quiet" and washed her hands in silence. With nothing to talk about, we were in and out of there in about 4 minutes. I hugged Quynh (already engaged in some activity at a table) and signed "I love you." She whispered it back to me before turning her attention back to what she was doing.

And that was it. I think it worked well. The kids all seemed happy and the parents didn't linger too long. But I wonder when the novelty will wear off.....and whether this system will continue past these next couple days?

PS - First blog post from the iPad. please forgive any typos.

Wine Club

2011-11-15T19:30:00.011-05:00

All my fears about joining a book club have been realized. Specifically, the fear that I am not motivated enough to actually read the books in time for the meetings. I actually like reading, and some (though not all) of the books have seemed quite interesting. It's just that I don't have much time during which I could read. See below for graphical evidence:

A Day in My Life:

See that purple slice? Not very big, is it? Additionally, I have other things I'd like to do with my free time. So when that precious sliver of time rolls around each evening, Reading a Book Someone Else Chose has to compete with television, movies, the hot tub, and precious sleep. Not to mention paying the bills, folding the laundry, or even blogging. Most nights the book loses. And this is why I am only 60 pages into the book we are slated to discuss tomorrow night.

Having been the student who always completed every assignment in school it is kind of liberating to be blatantly ignoring the main premise of a book club. Luckily, I don't have to feel too guilty, as several of the other members of the club have the same problem. At the last meeting exactly none of us had read the book. Somehow, we still managed to chat for over two hours.

This is why I proposed dispensing with the pretext and just renaming it Wine Club. But I guess some folks actually read the book this month, so maybe that won't work. It's time for us to select a new bunch of books to read and I'm still holding out hope that if we choose fluffier, easier, more compelling books that I might actually get through them. Yes, I need Book Club dumbed-down, apparently.

Tonight, during my 2-ish hours of Free Time after the kids go to bed and before I fall asleep, I will feel zero pressure to read, as finishing the book in time is now a lost cause.

Looooong Weekend

2011-11-13T20:14:00.000-05:00

Playground
Visitors
Cupcakes
Movie
Sleepover
Bounce House
Birthday Cake
French Fries
TV
More cupcakes
More TV
Another sleepover
More TV
Another playground
Ice Cream
Another Movie

And we wonder why the kids were acting like over-tired-picky-eater-spoiled-brats by 5pm this evening. Tomorrow we bring them back to school so the teachers can whip them back into shape. Good luck to them.

Time Change

2011-11-08T16:05:00.000-05:00

The best part of our recent "fall back" clock change is that it's light out early so I can walk the dog at 6:15am and even get back and sneak into the shower before anyone else is awake. (Because the nature of the Morning Game is sleep-as-late-as-i-can-but-get-into-the-shower-before-the-kids-wake-so-that-when-they-do-wake-they-are-Minh's-problem). Anyway, the light in the morning motivates me to drag my ass out of bed a tad earlier and walk the dog first thing. I get fresh air and a little bit of exercise, as does she. Win-win.

The worst thing about the clock change is that I can no longer leave work at 4pm with my sunglasses atop my head and pretend that they are there because of, you know, the sun. (When really they are just there to hold my hair out of my face). Somehow (as much as I want to) I can't bring myself to walk around at dusk with sunglasses on my head. Apparently, even I have standards.

Three Years of Lions

2011-11-06T20:28:00.000-05:00

Tai, October 2009

Tai, October 2010

Quynh, November 2011

Powerless

2011-11-02T16:30:00.001-04:00

After three full days without power (well, actually with some spotty generator power, but no REAL power) we have done All The Things. There is simply nothing left to do with a toddler and a preschooler that we have not done.

We went sledding, drank hot cocoa, made beaded necklaces, colored pictures, sculpted with play-dough, constructed a marble run, made puppets and held puppet shows, had playdates with neighbors and school friends, used precious bits of the ipad's batteries to play games and read stories, read actual paper books, and more books, and then some more books, drew on the windows with markers, goofed around with flashlights and lanterns, played hide-and-seek in total darkness, and adorned ourselves with Halloween-themed temporary tattoos (that are currently proving very difficult to wash off).

Thankfully, school was open today. And the power is back on, so we can go back to being more reliant on electronic entertainment for the kids than I ever realized we were.

Farm to Table Project

2011-10-27T10:38:00.000-04:00

My kids' school has a farm share and each week the pre-schoolers get to go pick up the veggies. Then the teachers have to figure out what to do with all those veggies. They have made kale chips, beet pancakes, apple-carrot muffins and who knows what else. The preschoolers get to help with the cooking and then they all get to taste the dish and even provide a rating on how well they liked it. It's like one of those smiley-face pain scales they hang on the wall in the hospital. (You know, the one that you would laugh out loud at while you're pacing the room in labor.....if laughing were an option at that moment). In this case, I believe the food-rating options are "really liked it", "just liked it", "kinda liked it", and "didn't like it." I'll wait until Tai is a little older to lecture him on constructing a valid likert scale.

Eventually, the teachers got smart and enlisted the help of a few pre-schoolers, mine included, to compose a letter home to parents asking for help with creative veggie recipes. Tai embraced this project whole-heartedly. Over the course of a week, I heard about this letter from Tai approximately 27 times. I got, "Do you have any recipes that use beets? kale? edamame?" and "Maybe we can make pumpkin bread or beef stew?"

He had me at beef stew.

I am not a great cook, but beef stew is one thing I can do. And it uses potatoes and carrots and garlic and onions. I figured I'd jump on that and let some other parent figure out what to do with the rutabagas.

Earlier this week I gathered veggies from the school's share and last night after dinner, my entire family worked together to make a huge crock-pot full of stew for the entire school. I don't know how I didn't realize this ahead of time, but everything takes three times longer when working with kiddos. It was extra work for us to keep manufacturing easy, safe jobs for Quynh. To his credit, Tai peeled all the carrots, but it took him a good 35 minutes and some of them were peeled to within an inch of their life. Ever seen a carrot with a waist? I have.

After struggling for a while with a butter knife and a raw potato, Quynh request a sharper knife. She was totally jealous that Minh got to chop the garlic with a cleaver.

This morning my two kids, beaming with pride, delivered the stew to school. They scooped some out right away and brought it to the infant room for their morning snack. I can't wait to hear how it goes over in the toddler and pre-school rooms. After all that work, I do hope they eat it.

There's Always Time For Coffee

2011-10-06T19:46:00.003-04:00

Last Saturday I had an unusually bad morning. When the kids woke at the Crack of Six I let them come snuggle in our bed and watch about an hour of TV. Usually this tactic gets me a decent chunk of light sleep. But last Saturday Quynh was having none of it. While Tai sat and calmly devoured his allotted Screen Time, Quynh talked, wiggled, and kicked, and sat on my chest. For the entire hour. I should have just gotten up with them and saved the precious TV time for later in the day when I needed a break.

So, somewhere around 7:15am, bleary-eyed, I stumbled into the kitchen to rustle up some breakfast. After serving my kids, I scooped myself a large serving of what I believed to be vanilla Greek yogurt, topped it with granola and took a huge bite.

Alas, it was not yogurt, but sour cream.

OK, that was horrifyingly gross, but I recovered quickly. I simply dumped it out and started over with the actual Greek yogurt (that happened ot be in exactly the same shape, size and color contianer as the sour cream.)

After breakfast the kids started in with, "Can you play with me? Can we do a puppet show? Can we do an art project?" Not having to be at Tai's swim class until 9am, I figured I'd take my coffee into the play room and spend some quality time with the munchkins.

I then proceeded to pour a full cup of coffee and immediately knock it off the counter onto my (wood) kitchen floor. Tai came running in the from the playroom to, basically, point out that I had made a huge mess. Thanks, I hadn't noticed.

After I cleaned up the mess and poured a fresh coffee, the kids and I managed to have a wonderful time playing together. We built a zoo out of blocks and plastic animals, and then drew pictures of animals to hang on the wall. I helped Tai use stencils to make a sign that said "Lions eat Zebras and Wildebeests." All the while, Tai and Quynh happily shared their toys and refrained from yelling at or hitting each other. It was lovely.

Until I looked at the clock. 8:52am.

Swim class is at 9am.

That's when I started yelling. "Tai, we need to go to swim class RIGHT NOW! Take off your shorts, put on your bathing suit, now go put on your crocs and wait for me by the door!"

Surprisingly he did not resist this abrupt end to our morning playtime, but did exactly as he was told. I ran around the house, grabbing his towel and a change of clothes for him, shouting a reminder at Minh that he and Quynh were to take the cats to the vet in half-an-hour, and then actually took the time to stop and make myself a travel mug of coffee.

Yup, while my son was waiting obediently by the door I took the time to make sure I'd have coffee to sip while I watched him swim. Then we breezed out the door a whole 4 minutes after I'd checked the clock. Just as I pulled the garage door shut behind me I heard Quynh, still playing quietly in the playroom call out, "Mama?"

Too late, we were gone--on a mission to not miss more than 15 minutes of the 45-minute class we had paid for. As we started down the street Tai commented, "Woah, Mama, you're driving FAST!"

Luckily, swim class is only about 7 minutes from home. By 9:15 Tai was in the pool and I was taking my seat among the other parents. There I sat, un-showered, teeth un-brushed, with no makeup on. But coffee in hand. I have my priorities straight.

Thank You, Coach and Tammy

2011-09-29T20:00:00.002-04:00

Everything I know about football I learned by watching Friday Night Lights. That is, on a Football Knowledge scale of 1 to 10, I come in right around 2. This is a huge improvement, actually. I really did pick up a thing or two watching that show. Before that I was a -1.

And it's a good thing too, because suddenly Tai is fascinated by the sport. In the past three days alone I've had to (a) watch him line up his stuffed animals in opposing teams and execute a blitz, (b) "play" football with him in the backyard, to the best of my ability, and (c) watch 30 minutes of a Bears/Packers game on TV with him.

Watching football with that boy is quite the experience. He asks questions every 6 seconds. And, not knowing the football lingo as well as I should, my explanations are wordy. By the time I'm halfway through explaining that, "that guy handed the ball off to the other guy, who threw it, but then it landed on the ground and that's called an incomplete pass (I think)" he's already asked two more questions.

He is only four, so right now I can just about satisfy him with my "2" of Football Knowledge. But soon that will not be enough. Someday soon he will realize that football is not meant to be played one-one-on and that I've been letting him tackle me. Soon he will realize that I have no idea what "first and 10" or "2 minute warning" or "2-point conversion" mean. Not a freaking clue. Luckily, Minh knows all that shit.

I don't know how long this interest in football will last. Hopefully it will last a couple more weeks, because I just bought Tai and Minh tickets to a college football game. But if this becomes one of Tai's true passions I'm going to have to learn a lot more about the sport. Before having Tai, I never dreamed I'd know so much about dinosaurs or classical music. Maybe football is next.

Favorite Things

2011-09-26T20:30:00.001-04:00

It's been 18 days and the kids are pretty well settled into the new house. So far, these are some of their favorite features (in no particular order):

*The Breakfast Bar. Who knew that sitting on a stool and eating off the counter instead of at the dining room table could be So Much Fun? They absolutely love the breakfast bar. Each morning they sit up high and nibble their food, ask for more juice, and chat with me while I putter around the kitchen/eat something. And because this arrangement puts them side-by-side instead of across from one another, they can really get on each other's nerves by touching, poking, kicking, and even just looking at each other.

*The Pool. While it's officially closed for the season now, we did manage to get in it a few times. The kids loved the idea of it. They'd beg and beg and beg to go in on a sunny 78-degree day. They'd stay in the 68-degree water for all of 3 minutes before shivering and asking to switch to the hot tub instead.

*The Hot Tub. We had one at the old house and they made good use of it. But this one is bigger. Tai tries to swim laps while Quynh tiptoes around the middle--water up to her chin--with a huge smile on her face. Oh, and then they argue incessantly about whether to turn the jets on or not. Not the most relaxing atmosphere, but they have a good time and always need to be cajoled, bribed, or dragged out after about 20 minutes.

*The Rock. There is a large rock out front, just the right size and shape for two kid bums. It's about the same size, shape, and color as our dog. Several times Minh and I have mistaken the rock for Buttons and wondered momentarily how she got out into the front yard. It's also good for one kid to stand on and subsequently jump off of. And Quynh frequently picks up mulch and scrapes it all over the surface of the rock for some reason known only to her.

*The Wildlife. Every time we walk the dog around the neighborhood we see bunnies. Every.Single.Time. And what's better than bunnies? Frogs. Because you can catch them and hold them (wild bunnies rarely stand for that). We've relocated a total of 5 frogs from our pool/hot tub to the nearby conservation area. I wonder what the neighbors think, seeing us dump frogs from tupperware containers into the tall grass then walk away? Finally, there are the spiders. Boy, do we have spiders! Luckily they are almost all in dark corners of the basement, but they are large and they are numerous. Tai is fascinated with them and even suggested the other day that perhaps at his next birthday party we could organize a game of Spider Hunt for his guests.

I will now commence waiting for the phone to ring as you all chomp at the bit to come visit our new place, spiders and all.

Where The Sidewalk Ends

2011-08-24T19:00:00.002-04:00

Beginning ~~Monday~~ next Friday, this will be my new front yard.

Maine

2011-08-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

Whenever we go on a trip, many funny or interesting things happen along the way and I think, "Oooh, I'll blog about that later." And then when Later arrives I can't seem to remember any of the stories in detail, or I'm just too exhausted to re-write them. So vacations always turn into bullet-point posts. So here you go.

My children CAN share a bedroom, as long as one goes to bed before the other.

Tai enjoys the beach for about 2 hours at a time, then he's ready to go back inside. We never found Quynh's natural beach limit, always having to coax her off the beach after 3+ hours of sand play.

Speaking of limits, Tai usually announces he's all done about 2/3 of the way through an ice cream cone. And one night he declined dessert altogether, opting to sit and watch the rest of us share a slice of chocolate cake. Again, we have never seen Quynh reach her dessert limit. Her ability to eat ice cream or anything chocolatey knows no bounds.

The one limit of Quynh's we did learn is her Sitting Still Limit. It seems to be about 20 minutes. We learned this while on a 40-minute motor boat ride and then again on an hour-long Duck Tour. We promptly cancelled the two-hour schooner ride we had originally planned.

Although Quynh was fidgety, this year's Duck Boat experience was better than last year's. Tai seemed to enjoy it and really paid attention to the narration, including the fact that Portland has burned to the ground no fewer than three times.

Tai now plans to be, "a scientist who studies all the creatures that live in Maine and write books about them" when he grows up. And he's going to be awesome at it.

While at the beach, Tai's preferred spot is in among the tide pools, hunting for periwinkles and hermit crabs. And one day he dashed into the water, fully clothed, to retrieve a plastic shopping bag that had blown in, explaining, "some fish eat the plastic and could die!!"

While riding on a ferry, we tried to share with the kids the beautiful view across the bay. But Tai was only interested in watching the mechanics of the ferry as it docked. And Quynh was only interested in the people on the bench behind us.

Once on the island, we started walking aimlessly, looking for something fun to do until it was time for lunch and ice cream. I pulled up a map on my phone and announced that we were about to walk by a church, a library, and a playground. If you know Tai well, it will come as no surprise that he was heartbroken to learn the library was closed.

The member of the family who enjoyed the greatest increase in quality of life while on vacation was definitely Buttons. She ran free on the beach twice daily, peed on seaweed, played with new doggy friends, but steered clear of the Scary Ocean Waves.

While on vacation, Buttons behaved unusually well, Tai behaved unusually poorly, and Quynh decided she only eats potato chips, fritos, and dessert.

Quynh is so stubborn that the other night she chose to watch me eat her piece of whoopie pie rather than take the one tiny bite of scallop we asked of her in order to be granted Dessert Privileges. Even after I put frosting on the scallop, she wouldn't touch it.

Tai collected numerous rocks, shells, and dead animal parts during the course of the week. We encouraged him to return all but one favorite shell to the beach before returning home. (We certainly don't want stinky crab legs at our house!) On the last morning we took Buttons for her final walk on the beach and Tai brought his bucket-o-shells. Just before he dumped them out he said into the bucket, "If there's another fire in Maine, call me."

What I Did This Weekend

2011-07-25T19:53:00.000-04:00

Answered the "are we there yet?" question 6 times before we even got on the Pike.
Swam before dinner.
Zipped two kids into a tent, told them to go to sleep, and walked away.
Regretted that decision.
Vowed to delay moving Quynh to a Big Girl Bed for as long as humanly possible.
Stared longingly at our friends' pop-up camper and wondered how much we'd have to camp to justify that cost.
Swam instead of napping.
Laughed at my husband the first time he was bitten by a fish.
Felt bad for laughing (and a little scared for my own safety) the second time he was bitten.
Swam after dinner.
Marveled at my son swimming, really swimming, in water over his head.
Received so many mosquito bites on my feet and ankles that I look like I have some sort of pox.
Wondered why we were sleeping in a tent instead of an air conditioned hotel, or our house.
Swam in the rain.
Took my potty-training two year old to the campground bathroom to pee every time she asked me to.
Saw an old friend, and his 3 kids.
Paid a 9-year-old $2 for watching my kids for an hour.
Packed up a wet tent (again) and swore never again to camp if there is even the slightest chance of rain (again).

Hungry Burglar

2011-07-11T19:30:00.001-04:00

Last night I was awakened at 12am by the sound of my fridge beeping. It beeps when you leave it open. The thing is, I know I did not leave it open when I went to bed. Clearly, someone had broken into my house, fixed themselves a snack, and forgot to close the fridge.

Coincidentally, it was my last night sans-husband. Because, usually, scaring away hungry burglars in the middle of the night is a Husband Thing. But, alas, he was not there. So I got up, grabbed the phone (you know, for calling 911) and the baseball bat that resides in the corner of the room and asked Buttons to accompany me out to the kitchen to investigate. She promptly walked into her crate and curled up in a ball. I considered the fact that she had not barked a good sign, but my irrational-sleepy-paranoid-self was still sure I had to go shut the fridge and be sure no one was out there.

So off to the kitchen I went, phone in one hand, baseball bat in the other, and no dog by my side. The kitchen was empty, but the fridge was indeed open a good 8 inches, not just ajar. I shut it and then looked all around for a burglar munching on Greek yogurt or pickles (the only things left in the fridge these days). But there was none to be found.

I glanced at the cat stretched out in the middle of the living room floor and tried to ascertain whether he looked guilty. He sometimes climbs atop the fridge and I suppose he might have knocked it open while dismounting. On my way back to bed I went over the physics of this in my head to determine if it might be possible. Presumably, when jumping off the fridge, a cats paws would push against the fridge, actually closing the door, no?

I climbed back into bed, baseball bat still in hand and lie there awake for the better part of an hour, listening to every sound in the house. I figured the burglar was hiding down in the basement, waiting for me to fall asleep before returning to the kitchen to finish snacking. Apparently they out-waited me because I woke hours later, baseball bat still in the bed where my husband should have been.

I will be very happy to have my hubby back home tonight.

And The Winner Is....

2011-07-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

If you answered "C" to the previous post, give yourself a pat on the back. You win. Here's how it went down:

4:45pm: Pizza. Success.

5:15pm: Bath. Marginal success. Had to coerce Q into the tub with promise of new pack of silly bands.

5:45pm: Popcorn. Success.

6:00 - 7:15pm: A Bug's Life. Half Success. Tai enjoyed it so much that the moment it ended he asked, "Can we watch it one more time?" Predictably, Quynh talked loudly through the first 20 minutes and then lost interest.

7:30pm: Stories in Tai's room. Marginal Success. Lots of flopping around and getting up off the mattress. Not exactly a calming atmosphere.

7:45pm: Tuck-in. Success Unclear.

7:46pm: "Hi Tai!!! Tai! Tai! Hi Tai!" emanates from behind the closed door.

7:47 - 8:30pm: They emerge from the room approximately 95 times. Tai's exits seem legit. "Quynh is playing with the tissue box." And, "Quynh took my bookmark out of Charlotte's Web." Quynh's exits were hilariously frivolous. First of all, because she can't operate a doorknob, they began with, "Tai, open this door for me!!" And then she emerged to ask me, "Um. Um. ummmmmmm......where's Buttons?" And then, "Whatchya doin?" And then, "Who's talkin'?" And about 16 other things.

8:30-8:40pm: Relative silence. I fool myself into thinking they *might* actually be settling down.

8:40-8:45pm: Her Majesty needs a pillow. I can hear Quynh ordering Tai around in there. "Taaaaaiiiii! I need my baby doll! Taiiiii, I need my blanket!" etc. etc. etc.

8:46pm: They come out and Tai asks that Quynh be returned (by force, if necessary) to her room. My boy always knows when he really needs to sleep. But his sister does not have the same shut-off switch.

8:55pm: All is quiet. Each child is asleep in their own room. Why on Earth did I try to have it any other way?

9:24pm: Here I sit, glass of wine in front of me. Ready to crawl into my own bed with my book. Good Night.

Shouldn't Someone be Talking Me Out of This?

2011-07-07T18:00:00.000-04:00

I've decided to let my kids have a sleepover tomorrow night.

Tai has been asking for about a full year now when his sister can sleep over in his room. His desire to have her sleep in there with him is so genuine and so sweet that I feel like I have to take advantage of that sentiment before they are bratty middle-schoolers who want nothing to do with each other.

Being a glutton for punishment, I've decided that now is a good time to try this. You know, I'm already extra stressed and exhausted these days, so I might as well set up a situation that will likely result in less sleep for all of us. Why the hell not?

So, tomorrow night we will dine on pizza, get into our PJs, pop some popcorn, and watch a movie. Then I'll tuck both kids in on the queen-sized air mattress on the floor of Tai's room and see what happens.

I'm not worried about Tai. He's had a good friend sleepover several times and it has always worked well. They goof around for an hour or two after lights out and then Tai finally gets fed up and moves to his bed to get some good sleep. But I have no idea what Quynh will do in this situation. She's always slept either in her crib or in bed with us. The freedom to roll around on (or get off of!) the air mattress may go to her head. She may get silly, or she may get confused and scared. And, knowing her, she may get naked.

Place your bets now, folks. Who thinks that:

(a) I'll end up sleeping on the air mattress with them
(b) One or both of them will end up in my bed
(c) Quynh will end up back in her crib
(d) No one will get any sleep

Wish me luck?

Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

2011-06-19T20:17:00.001-04:00

5:00pm -- We arrive at a Cloth Napkin Restaurant for Father's Day Dinner.

5:05pm -- Tai is banging his butter knife on the glass-top table.
Suddenly his appetizer plate is on his head. Then his napkin is on his head.

5:09pm -- Tai has a time-out in the bar-height chair at the foot of the stairs.

5:11pm -- Quynh whines and begs to have a turn in the "tall chair."

5:15pm -- Shortly after we order our drinks, Tai bursts into song. "Beer and wine! Beer and wine! That's what Daddy likes best!"

5:35pm -- Tai claims "tummy-ache" and needs to lay down on the booth next to me, very nearly kicking some other patrons along the way. However, a brief reminder of the possibility of dessert caused the tummy ache to fade and more meatballs to be eaten.

5:45pm -- While Tai was too shy to ask the waiter if they had juice, resulting in his having to drink water, Quynh does not have the same inhibitions. Toward the end of the meal she pretty much flagged our server down and asked loudly, "Do you have chocolate?"

5:47pm -- A flourless chocolate torte with chocolate ganache and whipped cream was placed in front of my children.

5:49pm -- Torte was gone.

While it started out looking like a disaster waiting to happen, the kids eventually both ate well and chocolate always improves everyone's mood. After dinner we let them run around a playground for an hour and they had a blast.

8:03pm -- Both kids in bed, sound asleep.

Happy Father's Day!

What I Will Miss

2011-05-30T12:22:00.001-04:00

Yes, I have decided that moving is the best decision for our family. And yes, I will be disappointed if we can't find someone to buy our house. But I do love my house, and my neighborhood, and there are many things I will miss if we do indeed move.

(1) My neighbors (and not just because some of them read this blog). Seriously, our amazing neighbors are the thing we'll miss the most, hands down. We'll certainly try to buy in another neighborhood with quiet streets and hopefully with young families, but we know we'll never re-create the magic that we found in our current spot. Where else are we going to find folks willing to babysit at the drop of a hat, turn on their sprinklers the day after it rains just so my kids can run through them, or buy us multiple obnoxious holiday decorations without asking us? Where else will we have neighbors who let us use their swing set when their not home, or those who take our dog into their home for an entire weekend if we are away? I do hope we'll find another group of people willing to stand out in the middle of the street and chat on a warm summer evening, even if they are not crazy enough to share Minh's love of renting heavy-duty tools.

(2) My house. Literally, the physical house. I really do love it. I love my bedroom, and my master bathroom. I love my nice big living room and my dining room. I adore my floor-to-ceiling pantry. And I love the playroom the most. How am I ever going to live without that amazing playroom, the we just built? Of course there are other houses out in the world with master bathrooms, and playrooms, and even with 2-car garages and central AC. But I find it hard to believe I'll find one (that we can afford) that I will love as much as this one.

(3) My yard. Specifically, my kids' trees, which are are planted in the back and nourished by their placentas. (Gross? A little. But the kids, Tai anyway, knows why those are their special trees and I think he likes the idea. And I always thought we'd get to see those trees grow up alongside our kids.)

(4) Speaking of....I'm going to miss the chance to watch the kids grow up in this house. Yes, I'll still get to watch them grow, but not in the place I've been picturing it. Six months ago we were envisioning how we would adapt the playroom to be a student office for doing homework, you know, when the kids reached middle school. And now it's looking like this particular playroom won't be used that way--not by our kids, anyway. And how sad is it that Quynh will probably have no memory of this house and neighborhood?

(5) The campus across the street. I love being able to walk the dog over there, and take the kids to run around the lake. Not to mention that Tai was just getting to the age where he was enjoying concerts and other events on the campus.

(6) The steady stream of undergraduate dog-walkers. We acquired one great dog walker after another by asking each one that graduated to recommend a friend to take over. We already have someone lined up for the fall...but will we still be here?

(7) Living a mere 5 minutes from a great little sprinkler park/playground. This in invaluable, all summer long.

(8) Cindy's Drive-In. Living only 10 minutes from a place with great food, ice cream, and tons of toys to occupy the kids is perhaps more important than the sprinkler park. It's the only place that Minh and I get to sit and eat our meals in peace because the kids can go run around while they wait for their dinner and again after they finish. It's fantastic.

There are probably 50 more things I'm really going to hate to leave, but I take them for granted and won't miss them until they're gone.

Happy Birthday Quynh!

2011-05-28T02:55:00.008-04:00

My "baby" girl is two years old today.

May 2009

May 2010

May 2011

Emotional Rollercoaster

2011-05-23T21:22:00.001-04:00

Despite having all these grand plans about waiting for the right moment, calling a family meeting, and telling Tai about our plans to attempt to sell the house and move to another town, I panicked the other day and blurted it all out 5 minutes before we had to leave for swim class.

The news was not well-received.

He had already overheard plenty of talk of looking at other houses and possibly moving for kindergarten, so I was a little surprised that he flipped out. I think it was the description of how our house will be sold (pictures taken, posted online, people can see if they want to buy it, etc).  He burst into tears, yelling, "I don't want to leave our house!" and "I don't want our house to go to the house store!" My attempts to explain that moving could be both sad and exciting fell on deaf ears.

Eventually, it devolved into "I don't wanna go to swim class!" Having already paid for 8 weeks of swim class, and knowing we're going to have to miss 2 of them, I was furious with myself for the timing of this tantrum. When gentle cajoling and promises of snacks after class didn't work, I promised a movie after lunch if he would just go to effing swim class. He calmed down immediately.

About 36 hours later, while driving around town, Tai announced from the back seat, "Mama, I'm looking out for houses that might be good for our family.  I just saw one with a pool that I might like to move to.  I want to move now." He then went on to tell me he likes the ones with pools, (of course) and the ones with decks on the roofs (duh) and he got very excited at the one with a camper in the yard and the one with a boat in the driveway.

I find this particularly adorable because I can remember house-hunting with my parents when I was about seven.  I was dragged on painfully long car rides to an infinite number of houses. And all I cared about was: (1) is it red? and (2) is there a pool?*

So, despite my own mixed emotions about possibly moving, now I can start worrying that we won't be able to sell the house and get my kid the roof-deck-swimming-pool-camper-boat-house with cool rooms that he has his heart set on.

****Just for those who might be curious, we ended up in a grey house with no pool, 5 houses up the street from where we had been living.

Because.....

2011-05-20T20:41:00.000-04:00

Quynh's new favorite word is "because." She answers almost every question with "no, because...." and often forms a coherent argument.

The other day I was in the middle of getting her dressed to go to the park -- she was in a fresh diaper and a clean shirt -- when she decided she did not want to wear pants. She was standing on the changing table refusing to put her legs into her pants. I pleaded with her, "Quynh, you have to put on your pants." She calmly replied, "No pants....because....it warm out."

Wow. I was genuinely impressed with reasoning and verbal ability. "Oh sweetie, that was such a great sentence and a well-constructed argument. And you're not even two yet. I'm so proud of you."

"Now put on your friggin' pants."

Summer Plans

2011-05-18T19:30:00.000-04:00

We've decided to sell the house.

Although I entered this discussion of moving kicking and screaming, I've now come full circle and will be disappointed if we can't find a buyer for our house. We're still trying to remind ourselves that it might not sell -- it's not the best time to sell and our town is not exactly the most desirable in the area--but we'll see what happens.

And if it doesn't sell, we'll stay put for a while and then try again. We visited the local elementary school and it seemed lovely. Tai would do just fine there for the first couple years. But once we visited the schools in the town to which we were thinking of moving, we knew that we had to try to move. Amazing schools. Not sure I can really articulate the difference, but we both came out of those school visits knowing that this other town was a better fit for us and our kids. Nicer facilities, more diverse student populations, and just a generally great feeling we got about the principals, teachers, and philosophies of the schools.

Now we frantically prep the house for sale and keep our fingers crossed that it catches someone's eye. Fortunately the house does not need much work, but we ought to get that huge pile of mulch out of the driveway. And we need to de-clutter the inside and make it look like our kids don't leave toys all over the place all the time. And it would be great if we could get the pets to stop leaving clumps of fur in the middle of the living room. Oh, and we have to find a new place to live. Oh, and we have to tell Tai about all this and hope he doesn't freak out at the idea of moving. Oh, and Minh will be out of the country for just over 2 weeks in the middle of all this.

It's going to be an interesting summer.

Cute Tai Story #2

2011-05-12T21:17:00.001-04:00

Last weekend I decided to take the kids out to breakfast so I turned to a pajama-clad Tai and said, "you can either go get dressed in clothes or you can just put on socks and a sweatshirt and go like that."

He disappeared into his room and came back 5 minutes later wearing only socks.

When I asked what he was thinking he replied, straight-faced, "You said I could just wear socks and a sweatshirt! You said that was an option!"

I have no idea whether he actually mis-understood my intention (that he was to add socks and a sweatshirt to his outfit of pajamas) or whether he was just messing with me. I patted his bare bottom and asked if he really thought he could go to a restaurant like that. He laughed and then trudged back into his room and put his pajamas back on.

Silly boy.

Cute Tai Story #1

2011-05-10T20:30:00.008-04:00

Lately Tai has been watching lots of nature documentaries, as well as some documentary-like CGI shows called Walking with the Dinosaurs and Walking with the Prehistoric Beasts. He himself has begun acting like a prehistoric beast, and often tries to involve his friends at school in his new interest ("hey, let's play walking with the beasts!")

These new shows have sparked discussions in our house about fiction, documentaries, and everything in between. Tai now knows that The Sound of Music is based on a true story, but did not "really happen" the same way the footage in a documentary really happened. And I think he understands that dinosaurs really lived, but that the scenes he sees in these new shows are not real dinosaurs, but computer generated images.

Last night, after dinner, Tai suddenly announced, "Come to the living room for a meeting! Sit anywhere you want!" So after Quynh finished eating her enormous dinner (growth spurt?) we all settled in and turned our attention to Tai. He then proceeded to very thoughtfully debunk his friend's statement that she had seen the documentary Walking with Hello Kitty. With his friend's name abbreviated for anonymity, his speech went something like this:

"One. Is Hello Kitty really real in real life?"
"Two. Documentaries are about real things."
"Three. S says she has Walking with Hello Kitty....but that does not exist."
"Four. S says she was not kidding."
"Five. Dinosaurs were real, but Hello Kitty is not."
"Any questions or comments?"

Minh thoughtfully suggested that perhaps S was taking something she enjoyed playing and something Tai enjoyed and merging them together into one game. But Tai insisted that was not the case. Without actually saying it, he seemed to be mounting a case to prove that S was flat-out lying. He also noted that S liked to play sweet things and he "only likes terrible things".

Inside Out

2011-04-27T21:00:00.001-04:00

I have two children, one of whom I enjoy spending time with inside the house and the other I enjoy taking on outings. Is that bad?

Now that Tai is four, I am really enjoying doing lots of activities with him. I've taken him to concerts and plays, we've gone hiking with the dog, and I love to walk around the neighborhood while he zooms past me on his bike. Inside the house is a different story. He only seems interested in imaginative play, and only if I'm right there imagining with him. It's gotten to the point where I dread Sunday mornings in our playroom. I truly do not have the energy or desire to play "oceans" or "dinosaurs" or "kitties" or "Shrek" because they all involve me crawling around on the ground, reciting the specific dialog that Tai has just "written," and usually fighting off the attacks of some sort of creature. It's downright exhausting.

Quynh, simply because of her age, is not quite ready for many of the outings Tai enjoys. She became unbearably fidgety half way through the circus and I wouldn't even try to make her sit through a production of The Sound of Music. She has come on some hikes, but either needs to be carried or wants to walk at her (understandably) slow toddler pace. None of this is her fault--she's not even two yet. But at home (both inside and out) she is generally delightful and easy to play with. Playing with Quynh really just means sitting near her and watching her play. She likes to draw with crayons, markers, or chalk, sculpt with play-dough, build towers with blocks, and swaddle her baby dolls. She also loves to cook and serve imaginary food. She brings me cup after cup of hot cocoa and all I have to do is pretend to drink it and smile. I get to sit back, relax and enjoy watching her have fun.

Of course, I love both my kids immensely. But basically, I am just lazy, I guess. Somehow I usually have the energy for a hike or a game of hide-n-seek or a trip to the playground, but I find it mentally and physically draining to pretend I'm a T-Rex or operate a princess hand-puppet. Is that weird? It was the same way with Buttons when she was a puppy too. I'd take her on long walks and challenging hikes nearly every day. But when we were at home I had no desire to play fetch or tug-of-war with her doggie toys. (Yes, I just likened my kid to a puppy).

Good thing I have two kids -- one for inside and one for out.

Movin' On Up. Or Not. I Dunno.

2011-04-24T13:00:00.104-04:00

Tai starts kindergarten in approximately 16 months. Therefore it is time for the Parental Kindergarten Freak-Out. What should we do? Where should we send him? Public? Private? Charter? School Choice? Should we *gasp* move to a different district?

Having grown up in Simpler Times, when everyone but the devout Catholics and the extremely rich attended the neighborhood school, and having recently seen other parents go through the Freak-Out, I've always wanted to be that family that sends their kid to the local public school and doesn't sweat it. He's a smart kid and our public school district is actually not that bad (though not exactly top-notch either).

Sadly, I've spent the past month or so coming to grips with the fact that I am indeed One of Those Parents who will explore every option, tour multiple schools, and even consider leaving the house that I love and moving to a better school district.

Part of me still wants to just sit tight and send him to the local school. I think it will be fine. But then part of me wonders why on Earth anyone would settle for "fine" when it comes to their child's education. A long time ago a friend explained to me the he checked the consumer reports website on infant car seats and then proceeded to buy the #1 safety rated seat, even though it was very expensive and about 3lbs heavier than the others. He put it to me like this, "How could anyone buy a 'less safe' car seat for their newborn baby?" (Of course, I had already reviewed the same consumer reports page and elected to buy a different seat for my Expected Bundle of Joy.) But now I'm feeling the same way about education. Why wouldn't we give our kids the very best we can afford?

That brings me to the topic of money. Private schools cost money. Though, surprisingly, some of them actually cost less than what we currently pay for daycare. So when you think about it that way, we could actually afford it. But my gut, way down deep inside, is still anti-private school. Additionally, it's looking like it might actually cost us less, per month, to pay a larger mortgage and higher taxes in order to access a better public school district than it would to stay put and send the kids to private school. This would also allow my kids to have what I still think of as the more "normal" experience where they ride the bus to the same local school that the neighbors attend, rather than being chauffeured to a school three towns away by me or Minh. (Of course, I realize times are a-changin' and tons of kids around here are indeed attending private or charter schools in other towns.)

Even though I truly love my house and neighborhood, at this moment,* I'm feeling like I'd actually rather move and spend my money on taxes to an excellent school district than give money to a rich private school.

*It should go without saying that the Freak-Out Process is long and tumultuous. Look forward to additional posts in which I contradict everything I've said here.*

Reading Between The Lines

2011-04-21T20:30:00.021-04:00

We had Quynh's spring parent-teacher conference yesterday. It's always nice to hear how lovely your child is and see photos and videos of them having fun at school. And if you listen carefully you can often glean some interesting information. For example:

"Quynh's young age and small stature are no obstacle for her. She asserts herself well."
She yells when other kids try to take her toys.

"She can be very focused on a game and particular about how it is to be played."
She's a tad OCD.

"Quynh and [her friend] are very close, but they do have conflicts, as most close friends do."
They fight over toys.

"She is fastidious about hand washing, sometimes soaping and rinsing over and over and over again."
She's perhaps more than just a tad OCD.

"She's very good at falling, she knows how to tuck and roll."
She's clumsy.

"When she plays with blocks she lines them up very carefully in one direction and then turns them around to face the other way. She also does this with chairs and other furniture around the classroom."
Practically an official OCD diagnosis.

In all seriousness, we were thrilled to hear that Quynh is making friends, following routines, learning new things, and thoroughly enjoying herself at school.

Circus Notes

2011-04-11T10:48:00.000-04:00

If you let him run around a playground with several of his good friends for 2 solid hours, Tai will actually manage to nap in the car on the way to Boston.

Even a small city like Boston is downright thrilling to a four year old. ("Look! Skyscrapers!" as he points out the dorms around BU's Nickerson Field)

Music, lights, and acrobats (and popcorn) can hold Quynh's attention for a solid hour.

Quynh can eat her weight in popcorn.

Contortionists are really interesting for about 5 minutes. And then it just gets creepy, and a tad boring.

Quynh is too young to appreciate the clown acts. Several times during one part she turned to me and said, "all done man" as if I had the power to remove the clown from the ring and switch to a more thrilling act. This ain't The Gong Show, honey.

Tai, however, is at exactly the right age for slapstick clown humor. While Quynh was yawning, Tai was cackling.

Walking through Faneuil Hall with a headstrong toddler and a pre-schooler who won't break character in his role as velociraptor (complete with growling at strangers) is MUCH easier when you have two extra adults with you (Thanks J and E for coming with!)

I didn't get to see it, but apparently a living statue startled Quynh in a hilariously Funniest-Home-Videos kind of way. Later, I tried to get her to sit next to an actual statue and she was wary as hell, waiting for it to move. Someday she'll be on a therapist's couch working through her seemingly unnatural fear of statues.

Afternoon nap + Circus fun + large amounts of chocolate cake = Tai stayed awake in the car until we were 15 minutes from home. I think he was up until close to 10pm. This morning we wished his teachers the best of luck and high-tailed it out of there.

Textbook Situtation

2011-03-24T21:09:00.000-04:00

Recently I've been thinking about how and when to introduce the topic of "stranger danger" to Tai. I've been struggling with how to teach him to stay safe without turning him into a paranoid kid who won't say hello to or look anyone in the eye. Up until now we've worked hard to get him to be polite to everyone, including the strangers who often come up to us in stores and other places. And I think it's still fine for him to pass the time of day with folks, as long as Minh or I are there with him.

So the tricky part, for me, has been how to introduce the idea that there are some situations in which you need to be wary, or even rude. And how to distinguish between those situations and others. And how to explain why he should not just go chatting with everyone, everywhere we go.

A friend of mine has recently done lots of research into this topic and gave me some good ideas for how to approach this with a four year old.  I made mental notes of what she found and told myself that rather than sit Tai down and have a forced conversation out of the blue, I'd wait for a relevant situation to present itself.

Today it did. Twice.

After school I took the kids to a little market/snack bar for an after school treat. After we finished our snack, I was wrestling Quynh into her jacket when I looked up and found Tai about 100 feet away, standing next to a booth full of people, animatedly talking to them. I called him back over to me and, as I zipped up his jacket, I told him that some people are nice and some are not and it's really hard to tell who is and who isn't, and this is why he shouldn't talk to other people unless he has a parent or grandparent with him. His first question was whether he can talk to his grandparents if I'm not around.  "Yes," I explained, "What I mean to say is that you should not talk to strangers--people you do not know--unless you are with a grown-up that you do know."

Air-tight rule, right? Not so much. Tai came back with, "But if I go talk to them then I will know them, because I will have just met them!" I mumbled something under my breath about his ability to circumvent my logic and then found myself being asked to define "loophole."

(Of course, while I was saying all this, Quynh wandered off.)

Ten minutes later we ran into someone we know, though not that well, over by the lobster tank. She was beyond delighted to see the kids and chatted with us for longer than most, telling us excitedly that she had her dogs with her, out in the car. We went our separate ways, but then ended up checking out at the same time, right after Tai, the cashier, and I picked up the 75 Cadbury creme eggs that Quynh had knocked on the floor.

Our acquaintance asked, since we were heading to the parking lot together, would the kids like to come see her dogs. Of course they would. Suddenly I found myself in the prototypical "stranger danger" situation from my childhood. "Come here, little girl, climb into the back of my van and I'll show you a puppy. And give you candy. And chloroform." This is what I was taught to avoid as a child.

Anyway, she did not have a giant cargo van and did not offer us candy. But we did get to see her three large dogs jammed into a small sedan, which was amusing. And then I had another opportunity to lecture Tai. As I buckled him into my car I noted what a nice treat it was for him and Quynh to visit with those dogs and how it was OK to do that because (a) we know her and (b) I was with them.  Of course, I explained, we would not go do that with a stranger, and Tai should certainly not go do that with anyone, unless he had a parent with him.

I have no idea how much of it sank it, but I certainly don't think I traumatized him. I'm not gonna bring it up again immediately, but will wait for other relevant moments to present themselves and then remind him of these new "rules." I'm just really hoping he does not ask what might happen if he did go talk to a "not-nice-stranger." I don't have an answer ready for that one.

This parenting thing is exhausting.

Another Topic Checked Off

2011-03-20T14:17:00.004-04:00

For those of you following along at home, we've already tackled the topics of death and religion with Tai. OK, so maybe we haven't actually "tackled" the topic of religion, as evidenced by that post. But Tai has recently been asking me about churches and what they are for and I've tried to answer as best I can. He seems satisfied.

The other day we crossed another one of Life's Amazing Wonders off our list when Tai found Quynh pulling assorted feminine products out of my overnight bag. I'll spare you the details of the dialogue, but he asked me, "What are those??" and I answered as honestly and simply as I could. He stared at me in what I thought was stunned silence for a moment and then said with much disappointment, "Oh, I thought they were snacks."

And that was that.

The Biggest Milestone of All

2011-03-14T13:40:00.019-04:00

I've watched my family reach many major milestones over the past several years. Tai is in preschool and already knows more facts about animals than I do. He's also becoming an expert on dragons and other mythical creatures. He can write his name, count up to 43, and even do basic addition and subtraction.

Quynh is walking (and running, and climbing up on things, and jumping off them, and generally putting herself in mortal danger daily). She's even speaking in full sentences ("Let me see that, please!") Her car seat is now front-facing, so she spends car rides counting the things she sees out her window. ("fire hydrant! street light! mail box! 2 mail box! 4, 5, 7, 8!")

But I think the most stunning of all the recent milestones is the simple fact that we can now keep our toilet paper on the spindle, where it belongs. Seriously, this is huge. We moved into this house in 2003. Six months later we adopted Buttons as a 12-week-old puppy. While we made efforts to train her not to pee in the house or chew on the furniture, she quickly trained us not to keep the roll of toilet paper within her reach.

Buttons did mature into a well behaved dog and I do think the toilet paper might have gone back on the spindle for a while. But it was short lived. Tai was born at the end of 2006 and as soon as he learned to crawl he headed right for the TP like he was on a mission. (I think Buttons may have tipped him off.)

By the time Tai outgrew his desire for Toilet Paper Mischief (and moved on to Bigger and Better Mischief, like splashing in the dog's water bowl) Quynh's birth was imminent, so I think we figured "why bother?" and continued to keep the paper up on the vanity, or on the toilet tank.

Well, here we are. One day about a month ago I thought, "hmmmmm...I wonder...." and I put the toilet paper back on the spindle to see if anyone would notice. So far, so good. I think that Quynh is beyond the point of thrilling herself by un-spooling and entire roll of TP. Modelling herself closely after her older brother, she has already moved on to Bigger Things, like climbing on furniture, jumping on beds, and banging on computer keyboards. Since we're done having kids I think I can safely declare that our toilet paper is back where it belongs for good.

Until we get a kitten.

Mama's Magic Bag

2011-03-01T21:00:00.011-05:00

Back in 2010 I came across a bag that I thought looked pretty cool. Mostly, I was smitten with the flowery pattern. But a cool pattern does not always guarantee a cool bag.

And it's always hard to tell from a tiny picture online whether a bag will actually function well in everyday life. How many pockets are inside? What size are they? Do they have zippers? Where will my phone go? All these questions remained unanswered. Naturally, I sent the link to my husband and asked his opinion. He suggested I pass, as it didn't look like it had many pockets and cost over $70. He usually has good instincts when it comes to this type of decision.

Still, I kept revisiting the website to stare at the picture, read and re-read the description, and hold my little wooden ruler up in the air trying to imagine exactly what a 12"x17"x5" bag would look like in real life. That is much larger than any bag I'd ever used before, but I started to rationalize it by thinking that I could use it as a purse/diaper bag instead of having both and switching back and forth all the time, depending on whether the kids were with me. Finally, I made the ultimate wishy-washy non-decision and added it to my online wish list. If someone bought it for me, great. If not, it was not meant to be.

(Please note that this fatalistic mentality does not always work. I also added a Kindle to my online wish list and no one bought it. So now I torture myself daily over whether to buy the damn thing myself.)

Well, someone did buy it. On Christmas morning I unwrapped it and immediately thought, "Wow, that's big," just as Minh said, "Wow, that's big."

But big does not have to be bad. Big is just different. I've been using it for 2 months now and and have been actively trying to promote its image as Mama's Magic Bag. I like to think of it as something mysterious, containing hidden treasures a-la-Mary Poppins' carpetbag.

But really, it's just a big bag.

It has enabled me to completely abandon the diaper bag and that feels fantastic. My new bag contains the usual purse stuff -- wallet, phone, lip balm, sunglasses, tissues, gum, etc. But it also holds diapers, wipes, a bib, a travel place mat, snacks, sticker books, and crayons. I even have room in there for a small First Aid kit. When I stick a bottle of water in the side pocket, I feel like I could live out of my bag for about 3 days. It's a nice feeling, actually.

The only problem with this new bag seems to be that the more carry-space I have available, the more crap I seem to need to lug around. When I first started using the bag it was a nearly empty cavern and if you spoke into it you'd hear your echo come back to you. Suddenly, it's pretty darn full and I wonder how I ever used a smaller bag. My fear now is that at some point I'll need an even bigger bag. At this rate, by the time I am 40 I'll be lugging around a bag the size of a Prius. But at least then I'll have room to carry around the Kindle that I think we all know I'm going to buy before too long.

Matricide, Anyone?

2011-02-23T13:00:00.007-05:00

Loveys have all sort of uses, I know. Lately, Emmit's role has been to manifest all the bad habits and disconcerting personality traits we actively try to discourage in Tai. Poor kid needs an outlet, I guess. Emmit, who was once nothing but a sweet, lovable duck, is now officially a Bad Influence on Tai.

Some examples:
"Emmit like to watch movies with guns"
"Emmit likes fighting with swords"
"Emmit said he hates me"
"Emmit thinks it's funny when people die"

Part of me thinks this is a very healthy thing for Tai. He uses Emmit when he wants to talk about taboo or difficult things. "Emmit has questions about guns -- how do they work? -- what's inside them? -- how do they kill you?" I explain patiently and calmly to Emmit as best I can, trying to impart only factual knowledge and not condone violence.

Then, the other night, after a long discussion with Emmit about violence and appropriate behavior and language, I was tucking Tai into his bed and he told me, "Emmit is whispering to me right now. He's telling me to kill you."

So I locked myself in my Panic Room and alerted the authorities that my life was in danger.

OK, not really. I whispered in Tai's ear that no matter what Emmit says I know that he (Tai) is growing up to be a kind and gentle person and that I love him. He was practically asleep when I tiptoed out of the room.

I survived the night without any attacks on my life. And I'm not really worried about Tai becoming violent. I know he's just curious. What I worry about is making it worse with my parenting. When we make things like "gun play" taboo, he naturally becomes obsessed with it. But I'm not ready to go ahead and give him free reign to get it out of his system either. I can't stand the thought of my little boy running around pretending to shoot friends or family members with pretend (even invisible) guns.

I didn't major in Psych, but isn't he suposed to want to kill his dad so he can have me all to himself? Perhaps he watches too much Family Guy.

Keeping Score

2011-02-22T19:42:00.005-05:00

For those of you playing along at home, here are Q's potty training stats:

Day 4
14 new pairs of size 4 underwear
20 jelly beans
6 accidents
She'll be 21 months on Monday

It's Never Too Early to Plan for Halloween

2011-01-30T14:35:00.001-05:00

Tai is having trouble deciding whether to be his favorite superhero or his favorite character-from-a-movie-he-has-not-even-seen next Halloween.

His interests are eclectic. Stay tuned for updates.

Don't Read This One While Eating

2011-01-27T20:15:00.012-05:00

This morning Quynh pooped in the toilet. Feeling the urge in the middle of breakfast she announced "poopy! poopy!" And when I asked, "Do you want to go to the potty?" She nodded and said "beeeg toy-lit." So off we went to the Big Toilet.

After making her classic Pooping Face she announced she was "all done" and lo-and-behold there was a little poop nugget in the toilet. The whole family celebrated. She got to ring the bell twice and eat her first-ever jelly bean. She was very excited to tell Tai and Daddy of her accomplishment and to show off her jelly bean. For 10 minutes she walked around the house bare-bottomed with her diaper and pants in one hand and her green jelly bean in the other. Someone needs to teacher that girl that, when licked, jelly beans do melt in your hand and ought not to be savored quite so long. After I wiped the green stickiness from her mouth and hands, got her dressed, and turned down her request for "Moh Jelly Bean?" I sent her and her brother downstairs to play.

What no one suspected was that the little poop nugget was merely foreshadowing of Greater Things To Come.

Ten minutes after being sent downstairs, Tai called up to us, "Quynh took her pants off!!" Just as I was calling back, "Oh, that's OK!" I heard Minh (looking down from the top step) ask, "And where's her diaper?" And then Tai said, "I smell something poopy."

Oh no.

Apparently our little ready-to-potty-train girl had pooped in her diaper and then took it upon herself to remove her pants, and diaper, and sit down on the carpeted floor, in three places. All hands were immediately on deck, as Tai and Minh worked to spot-clean the rug while I wiped Quynh's bum (and back, and calf, and foot) and plopped her into the bathtub. Understandably, her shirt was smeared with poop. As were, somehow, Tai's pants.

Quynh was delighted by the idea of an unexpected weekday morning bath and seemed quite amused by the whole situation. Fifteen minutes later, when it was all over, Tai announced wisely, "That was terrible."

Paper or Plastic?

2011-01-24T20:30:00.010-05:00

The book club I joined is still going, despite losing several members and having one cancelled meeting. I'm still enjoying it and am looking forward to meeting again next week. Somehow, membership in this club (which only requires that I read a book every 6 weeks) has re-ignited my former love of reading and I'm actually reading other books in-between the official Book Club Books.

Even better, I've been getting all these books from the local public library, which is something I never did before. For some reason I had always wanted to own my very own copy of every book I read. I no longer feel that way, probably because I have (a) so many other things to spend my money on, like day care, and (b) so much less storage space after the home renovation.

So Tai and I have been enjoying the library. He quietly walks through the stacks to help me find my "grown-up book" and then he gets to pick a book, or CD, or video for himself. As long as Quynh is not with us (standing on rocking chairs, climbing on tables, banging at keyboards, and just generally wandering off) it's a pleasant outing.

So here's the thing. I want a Kindle. My friends have them, my boss has one, my mother has one, even Darryl from The Office has one. I want one!

Presumably, if I get a Kindle I'll start reading even more, just so I can use my new toy. And at $10/book, that could get pricey. So what I really want to be able to do is get free e-books from the library. And, apparently, this type of thing exists. The local network of libraries has almost 1,00o fiction titles available digitally, for e-readers. But you can't use a Kindle. It has to be another kind of e-reader if you want to use the e-library. Because Amazon.com is just that snotty about things.

So the dilemma is this -- do I get any sort of e-reader? If so, which one? How do I decide between a Kindle, a Nook, a Kobo, or all the others? I find this task overwhelming, to say the least, and I'm terrified of unknowingly purchasing the BetaMax of e-readers. And part of me really just wants the Kindle because that's the one All The Cool Kids Have. Or do I just stick with the Old Fashioned books made out of actual paper, so that Tai and I have a shared reason to venture out to the library?

Thoughts?

Ring For Service

2011-01-14T09:00:00.000-05:00

Not long ago I was cleaning the bathroom in preparation for some house guests and realized some people might find it odd that we have a desk bell sitting on the vanity. Those of you "in the know" realize that this was a long-ago attempt to get Tai excited about potty training that had mixed results, at best.

But even though it never quite had the effect I had hoped it would, we never managed to remove the bell from the bathroom. So there it sat, largely unused. As Tai became adept at peeing on the potty he would sometimes remember to ring the bell, and sometimes not.

But now that he is FULLY potty trained, the bell has taken on a new purpose. Tai rings the bell twice after he has pooped in the toilet and it is the "I'm done! Come wipe my ass!" signal. He requires privacy for doing his business, so he needs the bell as a way to let us know he's finished in there, behind closed doors. When we hear that "ding ding!" either Minh or I make our way to the bathroom and inevitably find Tai standing up on the stool, facing the toilet, and bent over like he's about to be frisked.

So that, my friends, is why we have a bell in the bathroom.

Labor & Delivery Barbie

2011-01-07T20:15:00.012-05:00

Ever since having the good fortune to attend the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with friends last month, Tai has been enamoured with the Rockettes. His playbill from the show is thoroughly tattered from being flipped though daily. He turns to the two-page-spread of Rockette head shots and pours over them. Many a night at bedtime he told us of his plan to dream that he, "went to the spec-tack-ee-lar show again and then had a playdate with all the Rockettes." (Side note: we figure this recurring dream either means he's really straight or really gay).

Lucky boy that he is, he was given his very own Rockettes Barbie doll for Christmas, complete with skimpy Santa-type outfit, white lace tights, and silver high heels. He named her Sarah (after one of the actual Rockettes in the playbill, of course). For the past couple weeks, Sarah has been living on Tai's headboard along with several small stuffed animals. She and Emmit seem to have become good friends.

Tonight, just before bedtime, Tai informed me that Sarah was pregnant and that the baby was coming *tonight*. "Well," I asked "does she need to get to a hospital? Or will she have the baby at home?" "Not at home," he said, "that's too messy. There would be blood everywhere."

So off to the hospital she went.

Upon arrival, Sarah met a team of several doctors ready to help her out. They included a turtle, a cat, a carousel horse, a snake, a lobster, and (of course) Emmit. Clearly, she was in good hands.

Sarah apparently breezed through Stage 1 of labor, because she was clearly ready to push. I found it extremely difficult to get Sarah into a Bradley-Method-approved birthing position, but did my best not to model flat-on-her-back delivery. So I propped her on some pillows and Tai said, "She has to open her legs" and grabbed her from me. But then he became frustrated with Barbie's in ability to spread her legs left-to-right. "She can only open her legs this way," he pointed out and he positioned one foot in front of her body and one behind. I assured him that was good enough for pretend, though in real life a woman would indeed need to spread her legs wide (and not just do a split).

About a minute later Sarah gave birth to a beautiful little fluffy yellow chick. She really is an amazing woman, as her figure seemed to bounce back instantly and she never even took her tights off. Barbie, you rock.

Four.

2011-01-06T20:30:00.052-05:00

Four seems impossibly old.

At his annual doctor's appointment yesterday Tai aced his eye and hearing tests, as well as all the gross-motor tests. It was adorable to see him (dressed only in a johnny, socks, and cookie monster underwear) jumping and hoping and standing on one foot alongside the pediatrician. At four years old, Tai stands 38 inches tall and weighs 32 pounds. But he's so much more than that.....

He's articulate even in the worst of circumstances. While getting his upper arm swabbed in preparation for three shots, he started to cry pretty hard. As soon as the first needle went in, he said (through tears) "That hurts! I don't want any more! That's enough, don't do the others!" It was heartbreaking, but only lasted about 1 minute.

He's absorbing new information at an alarming rate. Tai received a Smart Globe for his birthday and uses it frequently. Somehow, without being given much instruction, he already knows how to adjust the volume and change modes. He can now point out Madagascar on the globe and tell you all about Giant Bird-Eating spiders and other bizarre creatures. In addition to learning about animals all over the world, his two favorite modes are Population ("Wow, that's a lot of people!") and National Anthems. When in National Anthem mode, he clicks on Mexico and tells me that when he and Emmit go to Mexico (nightly, apparently) they hear that song a lot. Then he clicks on the USA and says, "Daddy knows all the words to this song!!" proudly.

He's responsible for other living things. For some time now Tai has been feeding the pets their breakfast. Somewhere along the way we decided that once he turned four, he could feed them their dinner too, right before he goes to bed. He's pretty excited about this new chore, but one night last week he and I both forgot about it at bedtime. After I tucked him in and left the room I realized the pets were hungry, so I started to feed them. Tai heard the commotion and came running out of his room, exclaiming, "Mama. I'm four now. Remember? I feed them their dinner!" Tai has also started brushing the dog without being asked. And he does a decent job, too.

He's using technology. He has just started to play the occasional computer game, and is loving it. Although it took a bit of time to learn how to use the mouse properly, he can now navigate his way through a Blue's Clues game unassisted. At school, his teachers were having a terrible time keeping him quiet at nap (resting) time. He doesn't nap anymore and just wants to play or sing or tell loud stories. So we bought him his very own discman, headphones, and collection of audiobooks on CD. The teachers are ridiculously thankful and Tai comes home every night and tells us about the stories he listened to. We've adopted a similar technique for rest time at home on the weekends -- Tai now has his own ipod and speakers in his room.

He's learning how the world works. The other day Tai asked his teacher what the director of the children's center does in her office all day. He was told that, among other things, she holds meetings. Tai immediately decided he'd like to set up a meeting with her. So he did. Yesterday afternoon he went into her office, at a previously agreed-upon time, and met with her. They read two books, talked about staying healthy, and Tai gave his feedback on the school. When asked what he likes about the center he said, "I like that I don't have to nap and I can listen to stories instead." When asked what he would change about the center he said, "After nap story we should just play and not have to have resting time." Apparently the Director took notes.

Luckily, he's still my little boy. Although it seems that he's growing up too fast, he sometimes reminds me that he is still quite young. He writes his name backwards. He's still scared to watch Finding Nemo ("Maybe I'll watch it when I'm 5.") And he can't put his own snow boots on or operate the fly on his jeans.

Mall Santa

2010-12-20T20:10:00.017-05:00

Friday afternoon we took the kids to the mall so Tai could pick out an ornament to buy for the tree. This seems to have become an annual tradition, if doing something twice makes it a "tradition".

Anyway, we were walking through the mall and came across a sad Mall Santa and his elf, sitting all alone with no children anywhere in sight. Obviously anxious for something to do, he vehemently waved Tai over. Naturally, Tai went into shy mode and was almost too scared to even walk past. But when Santa waved a free coloring book around, Tai was convinced to step just a little closer (leaving a good three feet between him and Santa) and reach out and grab the book.

Then, of course, Santa popped the question: "What would you like for Christmas? Popular Option A, Popular Option B, or Popular Option C?"

Are you kidding me? A multiple choice Santa? Talk about a leading interview question. Is it always this way? Having *never* sat on a Santa lap myself and having a child who has also never done it, I'm not sure if this is how it normally goes, but it sure seems lame to me. I was expecting him to mumble under his breath, "Available at Target, Aisle 17, for $29.99." I mean, really, who is paying him to lay out options for these kids?**

I indicated to Santa that we had already sent him a (purposely vague) letter and that he should look for that in the mail. But it was too late. My son had already responded with "Option A." Coincidentally, he will be receiving Option A from his grandparents. Knowing him, he'll remember this interaction and I'll have to field questions Christmas morning about how and why Santa contacted his grandparents and told them that Tai wanted Option A. Ugh.

**And don't even get me started on the fact that the options he laid out were totally gendered. Oh how I wish Tai had said, "Actually, I want more pink Hello Kitty socks." And I'm just glad Quynh is still too young for Mall Santas to ask her if she wants (a) a Barbie or (b) a Bratz Doll.

I Don't Have it in me to Construct Paragraphs

2010-12-18T13:54:00.014-05:00

So you get a bulleted list today:

After wrapping five of them, I now know exactly what size piece of wrapping paper is perfect for wrapping a Zhu Zhu Pet.
I am delighted to report that my husband took my son to the ballet today. They are such Modern Men.
Tomorrow is Minh's birthday. And we've gotten to the point in our lives where his gift consists of: (a) sleeping as late as he wants, (b) dinner from Pizza Hut, and possibly (c) a home-made card from Tai, if he's amenable to an art project tomorrow morning.
Swim class continues to go well, despite Tai's insistence each week that I inform his teacher that he's "only going to put my feet in today" or "going to hang on to the wall the whole time". By this point in the game, the teacher just says OK and rolls her eyes because we all know he's going to get in and swim like a fishy.
Quynh is waking from nap. I must go snuggle her till the boys get home.

Mixing Worlds

2010-12-09T20:44:00.001-05:00

This year, because Tai's birthday party will not be held at home, we've felt free to expand the guest list quite a bit. Instead of four kids, we are expecting between seven and ten. We've invited his "usual" gang of school friends, but also some out-of-school friends, as well as two cousins and four grandparents.

This should be interesting.

Actually, I think it could be great. The guests are all people Tai loves and it might be wonderful for them to all meet each other. Or it could overwhelm him and cause a meltdown. Or he could devote all his time and attention to a couple kids and ignore the rest. When they are 4, there's just no predicting. Needless to say, I spent the last several days agonizing over the location, date, time, and guest list. And this year it was supposed to be easy--since we won't have to host it at home.

Anyway, it's officially booked and the invites are sent. Now I can take a deep breath and all I have to do is spend the next few weeks agonizing over cake, snacks, and party favors. Ugh.

In Case You Get Lost....

2010-12-06T20:14:00.009-05:00

...ours is the house with the six-foot-tall sparkling inflatable snow globe in the middle of the front lawn.

Oh yes, our mischievous neighbor has outdone his own past hijinx with this stunt. I foolishly mentioned to this man that my kids love all the tacky decorations in the stores this time of year and then immediately saw a naughty twinkle in his eye.

Two days later Minh went to take the dog out for "last call" and found this, still in the box, in our driveway. Even though it was late, and cold, and dark, and I was tired, I immediately started hatching a plan to go set it up on his front lawn. We got as far as opening the box and reading the directions before deciding that anything with an air pump, and stakes, and tethers needs to be set up in the light of day.

So what could we do but set it up on our own lawn the next day? And, of course, the look of sheer joy on both kids' faces was priceless when it first inflated. Tai loves the way the lights shimmer at night and Quynh calls it "pop up!" and keeps asking to touch it.

Alas, I fear this item has now joined the annual decorations for our household, for years to come. If our neighbor keeps this up, we'll soon be able to start charging people to drive by and gawk at our holiday decor.

I've promised our neighbor that there will be retaliation, I just don't know what, or when.

Quantifying My Life

2010-12-01T20:00:00.008-05:00

18 - number of months since Quynh was born (how did that happen?)

25 - number of pounds Quynh weighs

2 - number of turkey dinners we attended last Thursday

3 - number of servings of cranberry sauce Quynh ate

0 - number of bites of turkey Quynh ate

101.8 - fever both kids came down with last weekend

6 - number of hours of television Tai watched while sick

5 - number of new words Quynh seems to learn each day

3 - number of words she can string together ("more please, daddy!")

1 - number of days it took me to read this month's Book Club book

3 - number of people who will be attending Book Club this month

15 - number of online scrabble games I've played recently

1 - number of online scrabble games I've won -- I need dumber friends

47 - number of months since Tai was born (I really need to start planning his birthday party.)

6 - number of social events planned for December, thus far

0 - number of Christmas gifts I've bought so far

1 - number of personal days I'll have to take off work to get Christmas shopping done without kids in tow

Sometimes It's Like My Kids Are People

2010-11-17T20:00:00.001-05:00

Tai has been interested in selecting his own outfits for quite sometime now. And he certainly has specific ideas about what he likes. He tends to choose bright colors and shirts with pictures on them, and has a fierce preference for pants with elastic waists. This past weekend he went to a birthday party and carefully selected his outfit 2 days in advance -- running pants, a bright yellow t-shirt featuring colorful lizards, and black-and-yellow arm-warmers, which are actually baby leg-warmers. (Whereas I would have put him in dark-wash jeans and a neutral shirt, or perhaps a sweater).

Well, now Quynh is starting to voice her fashion preferences too. Sometimes I think it's just her way of asserting her independence for no good reason. Occasionally I pull a pair of pants out of her drawer in the morning and she yells, "noooooo!" And if I grab another pair of pants out of the drawer and she'll often say "noooo!" and then go for the first pair I picked.

Then the other day at Costco, I was perusing the feety pajamas (because I have a documented weakness for feeties). I selected some adorable, gender-neutral, red pajamas with little brown doggies all over them and handed them to Quynh. Then I pushed the cart around the other side of the pajama display, just to see if there might be another pair we should get (seriously, I have a pajama addiction) and Quynh spotted the pair she wanted.

She thrust the red doggy pair back and me and leaned as far out of the cart as she could, toward the PJ display, reaching for the pair she wanted and saying "eh! eh! kitty! kiiiiiiitty!" My daughter had her heart set on pastel pink leopard-print pajamas, with kitties on the feet. Oh man, of the 17 designs available these were *way* down on the list of what I thought was cute. I feebly tried again to sell her on the dog ones, but she had her heart set on the kitties. As the cashier rang them up, I rationalized that it's only pajamas and no one will see them. But I fear this is only the beginning of the end of my ability to dress her however I please.

Class Clown

2010-11-15T20:30:00.001-05:00

We had our first pre-school parent-teacher conference last week and Tai's report was remarkably consistent with the past 6 conferences we've had since he started "school" at the age of 8 months.

We've conferred with four different teachers about Tai and they all tend to use the same types of adjectives to describe my boy. It goes something like this:

Intelligent

Articulate

Perceptive

Observant

Considerate

Kind

Loquacious

Gregarious

During one of our first conferences, back when Tai was about 10 months old, we were told that he and another baby could not be seated near each other at lunch because they would get too silly. Tai would purposely throw food on the floor and his friend would laugh hysterically and then throw some of her food on the floor. This would please Tai and he would then fling some more food off his tray.

(Those of you who know Tai and his circle of friends undoubtedly know the identity of his partner in crime.)

During the next two years we received similar reports from the toddler teachers. Our first indication that Tai requires an audience should have been when the teacher pulled up the slide show of pictures and explained that she searched and searched but could not find a single photo of Tai playing alone.

We were then told that Tai needed to work on "letting other children have a turn to speak at lunchtime" and that the toddler room had instituted a going-around-the-table system for taking turns sharing stories at lunch. Each time a child started in with their story a teacher had to remind Tai not to interject.

So now he's a preschooler. Not the oldest, or the most popular, but he still enjoys a loyal following. He told me that he sits with the same crew each day and lunch including -- you guessed it -- his old partner in food-throwing from the baby room. What he neglected to tell us was that he sometimes has to be separated from his audience in order to settle down, stay seated, and actually eat.

We were asked at this most recent parent-teacher conference, "What is mealtime like at home?" because they were trying to figure out if he's as silly and fidgety for us as he is for them.

The answer is yes.

Although Minh and I are now officially "over" Tai's sense of humor and do our best not to encourage his mealtime antics, his sister (unfortunately) thinks he's hilarious. Tai's shenanigans elicit deep belly laughs from Quynh and requests for "more! more!" She's also taken to imitating his physical comedy routine, whether that means balancing your cup on your head or pushing your chair away from the table mid-meal.

We are in trouble.

If You Wait Long Enough....

2010-11-12T20:00:00.002-05:00

....Things actually will come back in fashion.

I never really thought that would happen to anything in my closet, but it has. And I'm not even talking about the Skinny Jeans with the zippers on the ankles (damn, I threw mine away in 1991). I'm talking about Converse All Stars.

The other day my office's 20 year old student worker came in wearing a shiny new pair of converse low tops and engaged in a conversation with a similarly young co-worker about said shoes. I found myself shocked that The Kids These Days are wearing the same sneakers I wore all through high school and into college. Whaddaya know.

So I fessed up to still owning two pairs of high tops and a pair of plaid low tops. They've been in my closet for.....oh....17 years or so. I have no idea why I never threw them away, even though I had no intention of ever wearing them again--probably due to my sentimental attachment to them. And now my hoarding has paid off and I'm back in style, having worn my plaid sneaks to work, and really stretched the definition of Casual Friday.

And this morning, while dropping Tai off at school, I noticed that one of the work-study students in the pre-school room was also wearing low-top converse all stars. Based on this, I'm now certain that I am either (a) totally hip and cool or (b) dressed inappropriately for my age and making a fool of myself.

Don't Forget to Vacuum!

2010-11-10T19:17:00.004-05:00

Tai is so excited for his playdate tomorrow that he was eager to clean up the house this evening. He stated immediately after dinner, "I'll push in the chairs and make everything nice and neat. You (Mama) clean the table."

"OK," I said.

"Oh! And don't forget to vacuum!"

Sadly, he's come to think that the only reason to clean the house is having guests. Not too long ago he found me cleaning up and asked, "Who's coming over?" When I said, "No one" he was perplexed. He also occasionally asks, "Why are you vacuuming for so-and-so? Are they allergic to animals?"

Well, That Never Happens

2010-11-07T19:40:00.013-05:00

It's very rare in parenting (actually in Life) for me to make a decision and then realize that it was the *correct* decision. Although I spent a full week worrying that my enrolling Tai in the next level of swim lessons was going to be the Biggest Mistake Ever, it turned out to be a Fantastic Parenting Move.

We had no tears or anxiety on the way to swim class, though he did remember (and remind me of) his plan to simply sit on the edge and put his feet in. I said that was perfectly fine, but if he did decide to go in, I'd buy him anything he wanted out of the snack machine in the lobby of the YMCA. And I made sure that while we were checking in he perused the contents of said machine and picked out what he would get, if he went in the pool.

Apparently the promise of a 60-cent bag of Goldfish crackers goes a long way.

He made sure I told his teacher that he was feeling nervous and might just want to sit on the edge. She said that was perfectly fine with her, took him firmly by the hand, and led him over to the edge of the pool. He was already comfortable with this teacher, as she was the same one who taught Pike and Parent. I took my place on the bleachers.

Of the 5 kids she had lined up on the wall, Tai was the last one to get in the pool, but he did get in. And the next thing I knew, he was literally on the teacher's back, with his arms around her neck like a baby chimp. She taught the first 10 minutes of the class with an extra 30 lbs on her back!

And soon enough he was comfortable hanging onto the the wall, awaiting his turn to do whatever activity was next. Before the 30 minute class was over, he had jumped into the deep end and even tried a sitting dive -- both firsts for him. I was so proud I nearly cried.

Nudge....Nudge....Splash

2010-11-04T21:00:00.002-04:00

Last week was the final Pike and Parent swim class. Although Tai displayed some amazing bravery early on in the class, the last few weeks he has been insisting that I hold onto him because he is, "afraid I'm going to sink." Not sure where that's coming from.

He's also been expressing anxiety over the idea of moving on to the Pike/Eel class, which would require him to go into the pool without me. At first I was horrified at the thought of having to force him to do something that scares him, and potentially cause him to fear swimming altogether. I told him we'd talk about it and decide later which class to sign up for, mentally resigning myself to 6 more weeks of having to remember to shave my legs for Freakin' Swim Class.

But then the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if this might be the time to push him beyond his comfort zone. And the more I thought about the fact that the Pike and Parent class is only offered at one seriously inconvenient time slot, the more I convinced myself the right thing to do was to sign him up for the next level.

So I did. Behind his back.

Last week as we were leaving, he overheard talk of the time slot change for next week and started crying and pleading with me. "Mama, I don't want the class without the parents! Don't make that plan! That's not my decision!"

Needless to say, I felt horrible for having gone behind his back and signed him up for something I knew he was afraid to try. I tried to say, "Oh, let's not worry about that until next week." But he insisted we have it out, right there in the parking lot of the YMCA. So we talked it through and we've made a plan.

This Saturday I will not be going in the pool. But he might not either. He's agreed to sit on the edge and put his feet in and consider going in, if he feels comfortable. If not, I told him he can just watch for the first week and then go in the second week. To which he replied, "Or maybe after 3, or 4, or 5 weeks." Smart kid.

Will this be the right path? Is this just the little extra nudge he needs to feel more confident? Or will this destroy his self-esteem, make him question his trust for his mother, and instill in him a fear of water? I guess we'll wait and see.....

My Kid is Cute, and Weird

2010-11-02T14:31:00.003-04:00

I had this conversation with Tai this morning:

T: When do we get to go trick or treating again?

K: Not until next Halloween.

T: Next year?

K: Yes, you’ll be four-and-three-quarters by then!

T: Wow, do you think my socks will still fit me then?

K: I dunno.

T: Is that an age for dying?

K: No, of course not.

T: Will my socks still fit me when I die?

K: I dunno.

T: What if I never die?

....and on and on.....

Adventures, Big and Small

2010-10-28T21:00:00.017-04:00

Last weekend we took the kids to Six Flags New England, a place we had not been in more than 10 years. Despite my concerns that paying $100 for admission and $15 for parking might not be worth it, considering Tai's hot-and-cold fear of rides, we decided to try it. Some friends of ours were taking theirs kids (almost exactly the same ages as our kids) so we figured it'd be a fun way to have a play date. And we hoped that the other little boy might help coax Tai onto some of the scarier rides.

The last time we went to Six Flags, Minh and I enjoyed the water park and the Mind Eraser, and then I literally thought I might die on Superman, Ride of Steel. Not coincidentally, that was the last roller coaster I went on, to date. During that trip, I never even noticed that they had kiddie rides.

During last weekend's trip to the park, however, I hardly noticed the thrill rides, as we spent all our time in Thomas Town, Wiggles World, and Looney Toons Movie Town. My, how times have changed. Tai's fear seems to be one of speed, as he was happy to go on the slow moving train, the carousel built in 1902 that creaked and groaned in a disconcerting way, and even the kiddie version of the elevator-drop ride. But one look at the kiddie roller coaster sent him running the other way (a boy after my own heart?)

Actually, I'm trying hard not to let my fears rub off on him, and I offered enthusiastically to go on the kiddie coaster with him, but to no avail. He also skipped the helicopters and rockets ships in favor of the teacups, cars, and monster trucks. Quynh went on a few rides herself and had a blast climbing and running around in the play area. All four kids enjoyed the live Wiggles show, which contained no actual Wiggles, but a woman who put her heart into every song and clearly had aspirations bigger than the Six Flags Stage. My favorite part of the show was the security guard, in charge of keeping kids from rushing the stage, who danced with such enthusiasm we were sure he was after the role of Captain Feathersword.

Then, on Monday, we grown-ups went zip lining in the Berkshires. Now this is my type of adventure. While roller coasters terrify me (because they're certainly going to either derail or crash, or throw me from the seat). I was not the least bit scared of zip lining. Perhaps it was the heavy-duty harness, or the feeling of control (we were taught to brake as needed). Whatever the reason, my only fear of that first zip was the worry that I'd do something wrong and look like an idiot.

After three hours of zipping, repelling, and traversing bridges from tree to tree down a mountain, I was plotting our return visit. Since the first few zips of the day were spent learning how to take off, break, and land, I'm sure we'll have even more fun now that we are experts. But maybe we should skip the Berkshires and head straight to Costa Rica?

Nothing is Cute at 2am

2010-10-22T20:00:00.001-04:00

My fantastic sleeper is not so fantastic anymore. For months now she's been sleeping 7pm-6am straight through, like an angel. Suddenly, all last week she started sleeping till 7am -- even better! And then this week her wake up time started creeping earlier and earlier. 6:05, then 5:50, then 5:40. And THEN last night she was up calling for me "Mama! Mama! MaaaaaMaaaaa!" at 1:30am.

Ugh. I was sleepy and I have a cold, and I'm a softie, so I went to her after 5 minutes of very loud wailing. I tried (briefly) to comfort her without taking her out of the crib, but she was all "up! up! up!" so I caved in and brought her to our bed, hoping she'd snuggle with me and go back to sleep. No such luck.

First she pointed at the TV "watch! watch!" I said no. She wailed.

The she handed me her nuk and lovey and said "all done" (sleeping, I assume). Yeah, right

Then the cat heard all the commotion and jumped up on the bed. Great. "Nibbies!!!" Quynh squealed.

Then Buttons came over to see what was going on "Butties!!!"

After goofing around for 15 more minutes, and taking a few sips of water, she settled. And was *almost* asleep when Minh came to bed at 2am. (why he was up that late, I have no idea)

"Daddy! Hi!" she said as he climbed into bed.

Then she stood up, walked all over the bed, climbed up on Minh and tried to play with him.

Minh and I did our best to pretend to sleep and ignore her, so that she would get bored and settle down.

Then she broke out into song "A, B, C, D....."

She never asked to nurse, but did sign, and say, the word "eat" a couple times. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna set a precedent where you can get up and go have a snack in the middle of the night.

After what seemed like *forever* she settled next to me, on my pillow and started playing with my hair, twirling it in her fingers in a very uncomfortable, tickly, knot-producing way, and saying "mama, mama" quietly.

Finally, she was still. I opened my eyes only to find her laying very still, eyes wide open, staring at me.

Creepy.

I pretended to sleep for 10 more minutes, then peeked again.

She was still staring at me.

Eventually, we all fell asleep again. Probably around 3am.

I can't wait to see what time she wakes tonight.

Pike and Parent

2010-10-08T20:15:00.001-04:00

Tai and I are enrolled at a swim class for 3-5 year olds in which the parent also goes in the pool. It meets Saturday morning for six weeks and I'm hoping that at the end of six weeks he'll want to sign up for the "regular" pike class and I can just sit on the sidelines and watch.

I think it was a good choice for him to take the class with the parents, because the first couple weeks he was clinging to me and always making sure I had a good grip on his waist. But last week he had a breakthrough. With a bubble on his back and noodle under his armpits, he "swam" all over the pool. When I first let go of him, he noticed and panicked. So I held him lightly. But then I let go again and he was kicking those legs and moving himself across the pool, so I whispered in his ear "I'm not holding you -- you're doing it on your own."

He had reached the edge of the pool, and it was time to turn around and swim back across. I positioned myself in front of him and held out my hands. But he said, "No, Mama. Don't hold me. I can do it." I was so proud of him. And during the "free time" portion of class that's all he wanted to do. He swam over to the toy bin, then across the pool, and then batted a ball back and forth with the instructor (on whom he appears to have a huge crush). All the while with no adult holding on to him. I wished I could take a video to show everyone, but I was standing in 42 inches of water and my phone was on dry land.

The Well is Dry

2010-10-06T20:00:00.001-04:00

Q has not nursed in over two weeks. About a month ago I implemented the "don't offer, don't refuse" method of weaning that worked so well for Tai. However, Q is her own person. This method served only to piss her off and turn her into Cranky Pants Clingy Baby 24-7.

So I began turning down her requests to nurse, which made her fiercely angry for about 1 minute each time. But in between she was more pleasant. So we went cold turkey. And I tried to keep us out of situations that would cause her to ask. So each morning after taking her out of her crib, instead of snuggling her in the glider I'd whisk her off to the living room, or the breakfast table. But I missed our morning snuggles.

After a couple weeks, we're just getting back to the point where I can sit with her in the glider again. We read several books each morning while Minh and Tai are still snoozing. She just can't get enough of Peek-a-Who these days. It's really quite nice. Every couple days she still asks to nurse, but with a look in her eye like she knows she's being ridiculous. And she's much less angry when I turn her down. Soon I hope to be able to snuggle her in our bed on a Saturday morning without causing an argument over my breasts.

I'm guessing the well is indeed dry at this point, though Tai has other ideas. The other morning Quynh was being unusually grouchy and was pawing at my shirt. Tai noticed and said, "No, she doesn't nurse anymore. She can still eat food. And Mama's food still turns into milk, but Quynh can't drink it."

Personal Shopper

2010-10-04T17:00:00.001-04:00

I'm taking a personal day tomorrow. To go shopping.

Is it just me, or does anyone else periodically go on shopping "sprees" thinking they they are buying loads of new stuff that will ensure a closet full of fashionable, well-fitting clothes for years to come, only to get home and realize that (a) you really only bought six things and (b) those six things are so nice they make your old clothes look worse? So now you only have six things you feel like you can actually wear.

Anyone? Anyone? Is it just me that does this?

Well, tomorrow I'm headed to the mall, once again. This time I not be pressed for time (since the kids will be at school) and I will not hesitate to (gulp) spend tons of money. All in the name of not having to go shopping again for a good long time.

I'm going to justify the money spending with the fact that whatever I buy now should fit me for a very long time, since I'm done with pregnancy and nursing. Now I just need to stop eating like I'm still nursing a newborn 10 times a day ;)

Hibachi!

2010-09-13T20:30:00.012-04:00

Last night we found ourselves out and about at dinner time, so we decided to take Tai to his first-ever Hibachi dinner. Here's your re-cap:

The balloon animals were a big hit with both kids.
Quynh was a huge hit with the wait staff.
Tai was mesmerized/frightened the entire time.
I was the only one who successfully caught a piece of zucchini in my mouth.
Minh successfully caught sake in his.
Tai refused to open his mouth, got squirted in the face with water, and was not pleased.
Quynh was fidgety and fussy and not very engaged in the spectacle at all.
Tai ate a *ton* of shrimp and scallops, deftly avoiding all vegetables on his plate.
Quynh filled up on orange juice and soup, and then hardly ate any dinner.
We topped it all off with Herrell's Ice Cream.

When it was all over, we asked Tai "What was your favorite part?" and he replied, without hesitation, "I didn't like the fire because it almost burned my head."

Poo Haiku

2010-09-06T19:49:00.001-04:00

Diapers handed down
to sister. Two poops in the
potty. Minh cleaned both.

Three Book Clubs

2010-09-03T20:00:00.013-04:00

Last night was the second meeting of my book club. Despite my original ambivalence, I think I am actually enjoying this new endeavor. I am reading more, which is nice, and I get out of the house every 6 weeks. The interesting thing about this club is that the two Founding Mothers have very different personalities and, accordingly, taste in books. As a result, the first two books we read were radically different and these two women tend to butt heads a little bit during the meetings, which keeps things spicy.

Although I finished the first book mere hours before the first meeting, this month I finished weeks ahead of time and made it half-way through another book, lent to me by a friend and neighbor. It is excellent and I've already recommended it to two different friends. My neighbor and I plan to get together for a glass of wine once I finish this book and have our own little unofficial "book club". And she's already recommended another book for me to read after this one. Suddenly I feel like I'm in two book clubs--how did that happen?

Last night at dinner I explained to Tai that I was going out for a book club meeting and that Daddy would stay home and put him to bed. Of course, Tai wanted details about what a book club meeting is like, so I elaborated. Apparently, after I left Minh and Tai had their own book club meeting during which they discussed the Frog & Toad series as well as How The Grinch Stole Christmas. From what Minh tells me, Tai's participation in the discussion included, "I like Toad because he says 'blah'." and "I like the part [in The Grinch] where he takes all the gifts but then brings them back."

Minh and Tai's book club meeting quickly ended when it morphed into a tickle session. At my meeting we occasionally got temporarily off-topic, but there was no tickling.

Things I Do Because I Have Kids

2010-08-25T20:00:00.013-04:00

There are many of things I no longer do, since becoming a mother. Sleep late, go out to the movies, take the dog on many-mile hikes, skip dinner, spend all afternoon reading a good book, etc.

But there are a number of (enjoyable) things I suddenly find myself doing because I have kids:

Going to the beach.

Using the public library.

Going out for ice cream. Frequently.

Picking blueberries.

Selecting a hotel because it has a pool. And then using the pool.

Coloring.

Going to county fairs.

Re-watching great movies like Shrek and Toy Story.

Singing. Wherever, whenever.

Dancing. Usually in the living room.

Attending local events -- tree lightings, outdoor concerts, apple festivals, etc.

Playing hide-n-seek.

Drawing on the driveway with chalk.

Swinging. Sliding. Playing.

Sparkle and Ash

2010-08-23T20:56:00.006-04:00

I find myself the mother of a little boy whose favorite color is pink, who is undeniably drawn to anything that sparkles or shimmers, and who always wants to be Princess Fiona when we "play Shrek".

This same little boy is also just discovering the concepts of fighting and violence. Every other sentence out of his mouth seems to be about fighting. "These dinosaurs are fighting" "Quynh and I were just fighting" "Let's play fighting -- it might be a little violent, OK Mama?" Maybe he only says all that to Push My Buttons, because he's also started using rude words* just to get a rise out of me.

Today at the mall he wanted me to buy him three pieces of "back to school" clothing -- (1) a pink t-shirt covered in glittery peace signs, (2) a pink and grey shirt with a sparkly princess crown on the front, and (3) Fire Chief rain boots (to go with his fire fighter t-shirt and fire fighter rain jacket). Not that women can't be firefighters. And not that male firefighters can't wear pink glitter under their gear.....just sayin'.

I bought him all three pieces.

He seems to be right in the midst of figuring all this stuff out on his own, I just hope he doesn't learn the societal norms via a mean kid at school the day he decides to wear his princess shirt. Perhaps pairing it with the fire fighter boots will turn it from Girly to Avant Garde in a very Project Runway type of way.

*His knowledge of rude words/phrases currenlty consists of "stupid," "hate," and "you're disgusting."

Maine Bullets

2010-08-14T14:00:00.014-04:00

Quynh The Climber delighted in crawling all over the rocky shore and in and out of stinky tide pools for about an hour one evening. Braver than her brother, she'd reach right into the tide pool and pluck out periwinkles with those chubby little fists of hers.

Speaking of periwinkles, Tai only picked up the empty periwinkle shells, sitting on the dry rocks. When it was time for dinner (lobster shack on the water's edge) he handed them to me and I shoved them in my pocket. Hours later, back at the hotel, I tossed them on the desk and realized that they were NOT empty shells and NOT even dead. We watched them crawl around the desk a bit and then "sent them home" via the toilet.

For Tai, "vacation" means juice with every meal. It's even better than chocolate milk, apparently. At each meal he'd ask the wait staff to list the juice options and it seemed like he picked a different one every time. We got to one place and all they had was cranberry juice. He gave the waitress a look like, 'Well, if that's all you've got, I guess I'll take it."

We learned many things while in Maine, including the fact that a single order of mussels in white wine and butter sauce satisfies both our kids, but only if Minh and I don't expect to eat any.

Tai became much more outgoing around strangers during this trip. Not sure why, but we're thankful. One night in a very empty restaurant Minh and I were able to finish our meal while Tai went and drank cranberry juice at the bar, chatting with the staff and patrons alike. Of course, when I joined him 10 minutes later, I caught him admitting to liking the Yankees as well as the Red Sox--very dangerous thing to say in Maine, even for a 3-year-old.

Tai's newfound independence made a trip to the Portland Children's Museum both easier and harder. Minh was working, so I had to keep track of both kids myself. Luckily, I could drop Q in the fenced-in "toddler area" and stand nearby while Tai visited each exhibit on his own. It was so great to have a break from "Mama, look! Mama, come here! Mama, come play with me!" He was so bold, however, that I lost track of him a couple times.

Quynh can now do spot-on impressions of a fog horn and a train whistle.

Each night in Maine, we put the kids to bed at the same time (7:30 -- late for Q and early for Tai). We'd turn off the lights and Minh and I would lay down and pretend to sleep too. Once the kids were snoring, we'd sneak out of bed and stay up a couple more hours. Except that one night when we both feel soundly asleep. At 7:30pm. Vacation=exhausting.

Duck Boat Trauma

2010-08-13T13:00:00.002-04:00

Non-refundable Duck Boat tickets seemed like a good idea a month ahead of time, but not during the fit Tai threw on the street corner when he decided he was terrified of any contraption that started out on land and then drove into the water. It started as little whimpers and the question, "Will you protect me?" as we neared the stairs leading up to the boat. I promised to protect him and hold him tight, but to no avail. Soon we were experiencing a full blown Freak Out with tears and yelling. We tried calming him, reassuring him, bribing him (with a bravery Milky Way). Nothing worked. Smart kid, he even tried to bargain through his tears. "Can Daddy take Quynh (sniff sniff) on the boat and Mama can (sniff sniff) take me to buy the Milky Bar (sniff)?"

After he calmed a bit, we asked the Duck Boat Captain several questions and received the "right" answers. But Tai decided it was still too scary, and was particularly horrified that there were no seat belts. Makes me wonder.....how on Earth are you supposed to teach your kid about safety and the importance of things like seat belts and NOT turn them into neurotic Scaredy Cats?

Incidentally, the conversation with the Duck Boat Captain went like this:

K: "Is it fast and scary or slow?"

Captain: "Painfully slow and boring."

K: "Is there a big bump and huge splash when it goes in the water?"

Captain: "No, it's slow and gentle."

K: "Is it safe?"

Captain: "Yes. See that sticker over there? We got an award for safety blah blah"

K: "See Tai? They got an award because it's soooo safe and so fun."

Captain: "I didn't say it was fun."

Now there's a man who loves his job.

Wait 'Till He Tells The Kids at School About This One.

2010-08-12T13:04:00.020-04:00

Although Tai is a typical pre-schooler when it comes to avoiding all green food, we are fortunate that he's not terribly picky and is not easily freaked out. He likes to try new things as long as they are protein. And he has a love of seafood that includes scallops, shrimp, crab, and lobster. On our recent trip to Maine, Tai devoured nearly an entire order of mussels and picked all the big chunks of lobster out of Minh's lobster roll.

So when it was time for the last dinner of the trip and we found ourselves at a restaurant that offered a kids meal of a whole (small) lobster and fries, we decided to go for it. Not wanting to waste money, we checked with him first. He was very excited about the idea of having a whole lobster on his plate.

Now, Tai knows full well what a whole lobster looks like. We often visit them in the tank at the supermarket. And he knows that they are in the tank so people can buy them, take them home, and cook them. This does not bother him, thankfully.

So Minh and I were not prepared for Tai's expression of confusion mixed with just a bit of horror when his meal arrived. Sadly, we didn't get a picture of that first moment, but we did capture his exclamation that, "They didn't take the legs off!" At first I wondered why he was so confused, when we told him it would be a whole lobster. But then I remembered that he's seen whole cooked turkeys and they look nothing like live turkeys. Same deal with chickens and ducks, right?

After the initial shock, he was eager to learn from his daddy how to pull the legs off and suck the meat out, crack open the claws, and dig out the tail meat. He proudly wore the bib, used the tiny plastic fork, and asked lots of questions. "What do we do with the eyes?" "What about the head?"

In the end, he ate about 2/3 of his little lobster and enjoyed every bite. He did so well that we got him a dessert too. Three bites into it I asked how it was and he said, "Mama, it's so good, I can't even tell you!" It was a fantastic end to a fun but exhausting trip.

You're HOW Old??

2010-08-05T11:57:00.004-04:00

I just had this conversation with someone in my office:

Her: I just can't get into The Wire. The first couple episodes were boring, and it feels kind of....old.

Me: It's not that old. It premiered in 2002.

Her: Yeah, when I was 12.

Nuk Free

2010-07-19T19:30:00.006-04:00

Tai has slept the past THREE nights with no nuk and we’re so proud of him. After the three of us had a lovely night out together, Friday night came to a horrible close with the expected (but still heartbreaking) crying and yelling.

He's smart, I'll give him that. He'd yell anything he thought would get me to open his bedroom door. "I need a song!" "I want someone to rub my back!" "I need someone to put the covers on me!" Each time I caved and opened the door, he immediately changed his chant to "I need nukkie!**" and several times claimed he was going to go into Quynh's room and take them back from her.

So I held the door shut until he screamed himself hoarse a-la Sam Kinison playing the Trump Card, "I need to go pee pee!!!" Finally, I let him go use the potty. The screaming stopped but he was crying so hard he could barely breathe. And he now directed his anger toward his sister, who was sleeping mere feet from the bathroom, with a dozen nuks in her crib. “I don’t like Quynh anymore. I want to put her outside this house! I don’t want her in this family!”

I put him back in his room and (at his request) took off his PJs. Then I resumed my post, holding his door shut and feeling awful about it. He banged on the door, cried, and yelled requests for the nuk, as well as, "I don't want this pull-up on!" Finally, after about 10 more minutes of crying, there was silence. He had, presumably, fallen asleep on his floor.

At 6am the next morning he came out of his room pleasant-as-can-be and buck naked, and asked, "Mama, is it OK if I sleep naked?"

Saturday night Minh put Tai to bed and there were some weepy requests for the nuk. After an extended bedtime that included stories, deep breaths, and a song, Tai did not come out of his room after being tucked in. Sunday night he didn't even request he nuk. He seemed a little unsettled as I prepared to leave the room, but he didn't come out and went right to sleep. We seem to be through the worst of it.

Sadly, this seems to have been the end of napping, but I think the exhaustion has been helping him fall asleep at bedtime, so I'll take it.

** Incidentally, Minh wondered out loud if he ought to try screaming and crying the next time he wants nookie.

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Distract 'Em

2010-07-14T20:00:00.001-04:00

Friday night is the big night. No more nuks for Tai. Ever. No backing down. It's marked on the calendar and everyone knows the plan -- Tai, his grandparents, his teachers, even Quynh.

We picked this weekend for a number of reasons, including the fact that we happened to have playdates and family visits to distract Tai from the withdrawal he will, no doubt, experience.

Additionally, we've actually scheduled a pre-trauma distraction. Friday night we have a sitter for Quynh and we're taking Tai out to dinner and a show. It's something he's been wanting to do anyway, so we figured we'd use it as a pre-reward. A celebration of his Big Boy-ness, if you will. If fire dancing, drums, and greasy Chinese food don't take your mind off your worries, then I don't know what will. This will also cause him to stay up past his usual bedtime, which we hope means exhaustion and the ability to fall asleep without the nuk.

Despite all this over-preparation, I'm sure there will be be tears. And probably bargaining. And rationalizing. And yelling. But hopefully after a few days it will fade and we'll move on peacefully. (Until we have to do this all over again with Quynh. I sure hope she likes hula dancing.).

The Countdown

2010-07-12T20:00:00.001-04:00

Tai will be giving his nuks to his sister in FOUR DAYS.

A Post That's Not About My Kids

2010-07-06T20:20:00.010-04:00

I'm about halfway through a book that's neither particularly engrossing nor painfully boring. I had no idea what it was about when I started it and the first section was actually pretty entertaining. It has had some funny moments and for a few pages I thought it might turn into a murder mystery. But now I'm starting to fear that this book might actually be Not Good.

So why do I continue to read it? Because I have to. I joined a book club and the first meeting is in 2 weeks. Now I'm stressed out that I won't finish it in time or that I'll finish it, but have nothing to say about it other than, "It was pretty good" or, "I didn't like it."

I've turned down book club invites before because of these two fears. I am a slow reader so I knew Book Club Deadlines would create stress, for me. And I always figured that at book club meetings you have to say something insightful to show that you really understood the Deeper Meaning of the text. Something that makes all the others in the club go, "Ahhhhhh." I know alot about book club meetings because I've seen The Cosby Show and Still Standing. In both cases, I believe the fear was that the husband would embarrass the wife in front of her book club. But the dudes always pull through in the end.

So why did I accept this invitation? Maybe because the club is being started by two of my good friends, whom I don't get to see very often. (And who I didn't even think liked each other that much, but now they're starting a book club together. Go figure.) Or maybe because I liked the idea of having a break from kiddo bedtime, getting out of the house once in a while, and drinking wine with some other women. (There will be wine, right? On TV there is always wine.)

So here I sit, ambivalent about my situation. Last night it was 9:30pm by the time I was done with all the parenting, dish-washing, lunch-packing, and laundry-folding. I grabbed my book and was heading toward my reading chair when I realized I didn't want to read. I wanted to flop down on the couch next to my husband and watch my new favorite show. So I did.

I have to go now, I should be reading.

Favorite Shirt -- The Next Episode

2010-07-05T20:42:00.001-04:00

And Then There Were Eight

2010-07-01T20:30:00.011-04:00

Last weekend we camped with our old college friends and long-time camping buddies, Jake & Dianna. Back in the day, when we were in our early twenties and childless the four of us would all share one tent, one stove, and one lantern. We'd spend half of our time taking long, strenuous hikes that led past waterfalls to amazing vistas and the other half either napping or playing cards. Ah, to relax for a weekend in the woods.

But this time there were not four of us, but eight. Since the last time we camped together, we've produced a total of four children. On this trip there were two stoves, three lanterns, two picnic tables, four cell phones, two GPSs, a house-sized tent and a pop-up camper. And no relaxation.

There was still hiking--I think we did a whole mile on the relatively flat "nature trail" before Tai fell apart. And, honestly, with the extra 25 lbs strapped to my back I was about done after that too. But we did manage to help Tai find his first geocache. He's been proudly telling everyone that we "found a treasure box!"

And there was still card-playing. Tai now knows how to play Go Fish. Come to think of it, there was still napping too. After a failed attempt to get any of the toddler/preschooler crowd to settle down for a nap, we took them to the beach while Minh and Quynh snoozed the afternoon away.

There were also several new activities we never used to do while camping, such as: sand-castle-building, tag-playing, diaper changing, and attending the Bird Show put on by the Department of Recreation and Conservation. Sadly, they seem to have used the words "bird" and "show" very loosely. We spent a full hour listening to a Bird Fanatic describe in excruciating detail the different types of beaks, feet, and wings of about 25 different types of birds. With each description he wore a different hand-made bird mask. There were no actual birds at said Bird Show. Just paper mache.

Quynh was not too sure about the whole camping thing when we first arrived. She kept tripping on the uneven ground and complaining when we were too busy setting up the tent to play with her. Then we had the nerve to tell her not to eat any rocks or pine cones. But she soon found her Campground Legs and started having good time (and sneaking Rock Snacks when no one was looking). For her, the highlight of the trip seemed to be the simple act of strolling along the (paved) campground roads and waving and calling to all the other children we passed. Unlike her brother ("I'm feeling shy") she walked right into other people's sites and made new friends.

For Tai, the highlight might have been seeing a real live ice cream truck for the first time. On our walk over to the Bird Show, we heard the unmistakable tinkling of Ice Cream Truck Music. Tai's eyes lit up and he asked, "Can we get something from the ice cream truck?" Of course we indulged him. Jake asked Tai what he wanted off the truck and Tai replied with his standard order of "chocolate ice cream". He was then only a little confused to be told that the ice cream truck does not sell actual ice cream, only sugary-frozen-popsicle-thingys. He was easily persuaded to try a SpiderMan Pop.

The trip was a success. An exhausting success. Despite all the work and the long-gone days of playing scrabble all afternoon, I am looking forward to another trip in August.

Hand Me Downs

2010-06-29T20:00:00.003-04:00

Anyone who has seen a picture of Tai in the past 18 months or so is probably familiar with his Favorite Shirt. When he first got it, it was much to big for him, but he wore it sans pants and called it his Fancy Dress. Now it's getting a tad small and, as Tai will tell you, it hurts his ears when we pull it over his head. He's worn it as frequently as possible, year-round, and it's been through the wash so many times the colors are now faded. We've been warning him that it's getting small and he won't be able to go on wearing it forever.

In addition to the Favorite Shirt, Tai is also partial to some of his pajamas. A kid after my own heart, he really enjoys staying in his PJs all day on the weekends and we both have a hard time resisting PJs on sale at Target or Costco. As a result, he's received four new pairs of PJs in the past month or so (sizes 3 and 4T). His PJ drawer was beginning to overflow.

So the other day, when Tai was busy playing downstairs, I went through his drawer and pulled out all the size 2T PJs and decided they now belong to Quynh. (Interestingly enough, they went right into her drawer.....no need to wait until she grows into them. She's already there.)

It occurred to me that I should inform Tai of what I had done before he saw her wearing some of her "new" PJs. I was worried that might cause a melt down along the lines of "hey, those are MY dinosaur pajamas!!" So the other morning at breakfast I showed him a big pile of pajamas and explained that they were getting too small for him so I decided to give them to Quynh.

"All of those?" he asked.

"Yes" I replied and held up each pair so he could see exactly which PJs were being handed down.

"OK. I don't mind that," he informed me.

I started to walk away from the breakfast table, to deposit the PJs in Quynh's room, and he called out, "Oh! Mama! Don't forget to also give Quynhhy my Favorite Shirt because it's getting too small. It hurts my ears."

Love that boy of mine. So, those of you who check out the picasa albums of my kids will soon be spying a whole new generation of Favorite Shirt photos, featuring Quynh. Lucky you.

Talking Dinos

2010-06-17T20:30:00.011-04:00

On our recent tour of upstate New York, we happened upon the Petrified Creatures Museum of Natural History. It's just a tad different from the other Museum of Natural History we visited in Manhattan a few months back.

In fact, I'd say "museum" is really being generous. It's essentially someone's house. That someone also happens to be a licensed Real Estate Agent -- in case you want to kill two birds with one stone.

The first room you enter is the "gift shop" and it smells like Old People. It has a dark, dingy appearance that makes you feel like you must be the first patron in quite some time and that the gifts for sale have been sitting there a very very long time.

After you fork over $9 per adult, the woman (Stella, I assume?) lets you into her Backyard Museum. This essentially consists of three major areas:

(1) displays of actual Petrified Creatures under wooden shelters. The displays are narrated by a very loud recording that you activate by ringing a doorbell. The "creatures" included trilobites, a horseshoe crab shell, petrified wood, and fern imprints on rock. Fossils indeed, but still not very exciting.

(2) large (though not actual size and not to scale with regard to each other) plaster dinosaurs painted in array of colors (hot pink, turquoise, bright yellow, etc). Each dino had a mailbox painted to match and inside the box was.....a doorbell! When you press the doorbell the dino "talks" to you. Tai didn't notice, but 4 of the 5 dinos had Stella's voice. What he did notice was that the T-rex (pictured below) threatened to eat him and the stegosaurus said that she was not very smart. Poor thing has low self-esteem.

(3) An area in which you could dig for real fossils. Stella even said that if we'd forgotten our digging tools (which we had, shucks!) we could borrow some of hers. We skipped this part in favor of heading back to the car and continuing our journey west.

Oh, and at the very end of the museum path she had a display about minerals that included rectangular slabs of marble, clearly purchased at Home Depot, and a large brown rock with a sign indicating that it was a meteorite. Tai and I thought it just looked like a rock. Makes me wonder if we could open a Meteorite Museum in our backyard....

I have to give her credit actually. She obviously found some cool stuff in her backyard and turned it into a source of income. Hell, I think it was worth the money just for the Unusual Experience and Blog Fodder.

Cow Parade

2010-06-07T21:00:00.016-04:00

This past weekend we trekked up to Brattleboro, Vermont for the Strolling of the Heifers. The parade starts at 10am sharp and we were warned to get there very early to find parking and a good viewing spot. Taking this warning very seriously, we found ourselves in downtown Brattleboro at 8:45am. (This is the part where you are impressed.) Some days I can't even get to the kids' daycare by 8:45am, but last Saturday we were all up, dressed, and loaded into the car by about 7:40am. Of course, three of us had not eaten breakfast yet.

Tai was thrilled to eat breakfast in the car for the first time ever. In fact, Friday night he had much difficulty falling asleep and one of the several times he emerged from his room he told me, "I'm so excited for the Strolling of the Heifers....and to eat breakfast in the car!"

We met up with two of Tai's friends from school and all enjoyed a fantastic parade together. The highlight, of course, was the many cows. But also of note were the baby cows (which Quynh took one look at and signed "dog!"), baby goats, a horse dressed up as a cow, marching bands, and tractors. It was the perfect parade for our animal-and-music-and-farm-equipment-loving boy.

Quynh also enjoyed herself, though it was very difficult to keep her from joining the parade. She desperately wanted to follow the cows down the street and couldn't understand how a fun event like a parade could possibly require so much sitting still.

Vermont is a fun little state and I think we saw some excellent examples of its quirkiness. For instance, there were the organic farm folks carrying signs in the shapes of giant vegetables emblazoned with messages about organic food, healthy eating, sustainable living, etc. And, logically, the huge purple eggplant sign that said, "end racism."

Then there was the Asian Cultural Society comprised of several white men and three mail order brides. 'Nuff said.

The group that tugged at my heartstrings was the middle school marching band. I don't know much about music but even I could tell that they were pretty bad. In an adorable way. And they were all out of step, including the drum line. I didn't even know it was possible to play the drums and be out of step.

After the parade we had an early lunch at a nearly empty restaurant where we let three toddlers and Quynh run wild on the deck. The young waitress looked a little bewildered at the chaos, but handled it fairly well. When a childless couple showed up, we tried (feebly) to reign our children in, but it was no use. That couple lasted about 2.5 minutes before decided they'd prefer to dine inside.

If only Tai had napped on the way home (or after arriving home) the day would have been a roaring success. But we did all have a fantastic time and it was worth the long drive early on a Saturday morning. We'll totally go back next year (we just may need to find a different restaurant).

Playing Hookie

2010-06-03T20:32:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow my entire family is playing hookie from work and school to drive to scenic Lawrence, Massachusetts.

On purpose.

An old college friend of ours now owns a restaurant in Lawrence, so a bunch of us are all converging on his place for a little Lunch Reunion. I'm looking forward to seeing old friends, letting our kids goof off together, and eating some tasty sandwiches. Minh's hoping to being offered the chance to open a franchise in Western Mass. Because Northampton needs another restaurant.

Crying It Out

2010-05-24T20:00:00.000-04:00

In preparation for Quynh's move to the toddler (!) room at the end of August, her teacher strongly suggested that we get her to sleep through the night now, so she'll be rested enough during the days to drop her morning nap. (A day in the life of a toddler is full of play dough, circle time, climbing, running, jumping, and there is no opportunity for morning nap.) So to prevent her from being the toddler who routinely falls asleep in her lunch, we decided we had better get her (and me!) some solid nighttime sleep.

But how? Quynh's teacher basically told us to shit or get off the pot with the whole co-sleeping thing. She suggested we either (1) put Quynh in her crib at night and leave here there and not go in at all when she cries or (2) buy bed rails and let her sleep with us all night long. Neither option really appealed to me, but I certainly want her in her own crib. So I decided to review the more gentle options for achieving that goal.

I went back to the books I had poured over when Tai was tiny. First I read about one extreme, written by the woman who thinks babies should never ever cry, and that progress toward better sleeping should be measured every 10 days to look for slow but steady progress. Ugh. The book included photos of her 5 kids all snuggling together on a giant bed in the "sleeping room." This woman might be a little nuts.

Then I read about the other extreme, where you plop your baby in the crib, close the door, and don't go back in until the morning, no matter what. The book actually says there is no limit on how long to let them cry and if they vomit from crying too hard just go in, clean it up, and then leave again.

Seriously? These are my two options?

Then I found the book that claims to be the "middle of the road" approach. Sounds perfect for me. I pride myself on my wishy-washy-middle-of-the-road-ness. I cracked open this book at 9:15pm on Saturday, but by 9:30 I was falling asleep and had not yet read the details of this sleep training method. I decided I'd read it on Sunday and we'd start our new plan (whatever it was to be) Sunday night.

I hit the pillow and feel deeply asleep. So deeply, in fact, that Minh told me the next day that I missed Quynh crying and fussing for an entire hour. He was still up watching TV in the living room and took my staying in the bedroom to mean that I'd decided we were going to let her cry it out. But I was really just too tired to wake. Yay for parent-to-parent communication.

She woke 3 more times that night, which I heard. At 2:30, 3:30, and 5:30am she woke and cried for 5 minutes each time. Then went back to sleep. Sweet.

Sunday I realized that we had accidentally started a cry-it-out program. Not what I intended, but I figured that we'd better stick with what we started. So last night we did it again. Not sure if we slept through any crying early in the night, but she did wake at 2:30 and cried for 5 minutes. Then at 4:30 she screamed for 10 minutes and I *almost* went to her. But then she found a nuk (she has about 6 of them in her crib) and settled back down. At 6am she squawked and I ran in to her, scooped her up and nursed her in the glider for about 15 solid minutes. All the while she was staring up at me with those huge dark eyes as if to say, "Where were you last night?"

The books, and Quynh's teacher, claim that this method works fast -- in a few days -- so I'm really hoping that tonight is the last rough night where I have to lay in bed, listen to her scream, and watch her on the video monitor to make sure she's OK. I'm excited at the prospect of "fixing" her sleeping habits, but I do worry about what she thinks when she's crying so hard and no one comes to comfort her. I find that part very sad.

Wish us luck tonight.

First Purchase

2010-05-22T19:21:00.008-04:00

Some folks say that a mis-behaving toddler is a bored, un-challenged toddler. So, in a recent attempt to make our lives a little smoother, we created a "chore chart" for Tai. The chores themselves are very simple (he is only 3, after all) and include things like: feed the pets, clear the dishes from the table after breakfast, brush teeth, use the potty, and get dressed. Those last three in particular must be done with cooperation in order to get the check-mark on the chore chart. If we have a bare-assed kid running around the house singing, "you can't catch me" while I chase him down with underwear and jeans clenched in my fist, there will be no check-mark next to "get dressed".

So, what do the check-marks mean? For a 3-year-old, pride in a job well done does not seem to be incentive enough for good behavior. So, we thought about some sort of sticker chart or tally of check marks that you can turn in for a special treat. But he's kinda over the whole sticker thing. And the kid already gets a ton of special treats (edible, watchable, you name it). So we decided on cold hard cash. Five cents for each chore.

Tai already had two piggy banks, given to him as Christmas gifts. So now he can finally use them. We've designated one as "savings" and one as "checking" (spending money). We've had this system in place for about 2 weeks and today he emptied his checking account into a plastic sandwich baggie (maybe he needs a change purse?) and made his very first purchases.

Despite his claims that he was going to buy "a whole box full of toys" he ended up spending his money at the Amherst Farmer's Market--where boxes of toys are scarce, at best. After turning his nose up at fresh baked cookies and pastries, he considered buying a tomato seedling (before he remembered that Daddy already had that covered). So he purchased a $2.50 organic blueberry smoothie (which he shared with his sister, without hesitation) and tossed two fist-fulls of change into the tip jar of a little 2-person-folk-band. I wholeheartedly approve of his decisions.

In the end, he came home with about $2.00 of unspent money and no box of toys, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Tackling the Next Big Topic

2010-05-11T20:30:00.002-04:00

Death: Already covered. Next: Religion.

Q: What do you get when you cross and Atheist with a Buddhist?

A: A very confused toddler.

Last weekend Tai went to the carnival with a good friend of his. On the way to the carnival they were excitedly discussing the rides that they would go on and ended up having a conversation that went like this:

N: When we go on the ferris wheel, we'll go way up high in the trees. We can look for birds and bird nests. God lives in the trees.

T: Huh??

N: God lives in the trees because He can hear everything. Did you know that, Tai?

T: No, I haven't seen that movie.

Q Has a Mind of Her Own....

2010-04-19T15:09:00.005-04:00

....and she's learning how to express herself. In addition to clapping, waving, and playing peek-a-boo, Quynh can now sign "more," "dog," and "book."

Quynh knows what she likes and has learned how to sign "more." She does this primarily for cheese and tickles.

Each morning she wakes (in our bed, see previous post) and leans over me to look at the floor next to the bed. Then she says "ga." I call Buttons over and Quynh points and exclaims "Ga!" (As if to say, "Yes, the dog! That's what I was asking about. Thank you, Mama.") Then today I was holding her as I walked by Buttons and she pointed and said "Ga!" she then slapped her thigh repeatedly (the sign for dog).

Finally, just now, I was trying to get her to settle down for nap. She had her nuk and her Skipt and the noise machine was on. I was rocking her in the glider, and shhhh-ing her. But she was resistant to the whole nap-time idea. She struggled to sit up in my lap, pointed at the pile of board books on the night stand and then signed "book." Adorable? Yes. Genius? Of course. Cute enough to make me give in and let her skip nap? No Way in Hell. I wish I knew the sign for "Nice try, Miss."

My Son, the Carnivore.

2010-04-15T20:30:00.002-04:00

We’ve let Tai watch a few episodes of Life (which includes a substantial amount of death) and he’s now fascinated with animals eating other animals. He doesn’t care much for herbivores, except for the role they play as prey. He often wants to pretend to be lions or polar bears or komodo dragons and go hunting for meals. Poor Quynh usually gets cast in the role of unsuspecting ibex.

During breakfast one recent morning, Tai suddenly began explaining to me that “When polar bears eat fish they eat the whole thing – with eyes and fins and everything. But when we eat fish we take the eyes and other stuff off so all that’s left is..........fish.” Well said, I think.

Then yesterday when I picked him up from school, his teacher shared this gem with me. At Circle Time they were going to sing a song about spaghetti and a teacher asked, “What can we put in our spaghetti?” Tai said “duck!” One of the other kids cracked up laughing and exclaimed, “You don’t eat ducks! Ducks fly!” Tai immediately corrected the other child by explaining very matter-of-factly that you can eat duck, but first you have to take off the eyes and the feathers, and then cook it. My son, the gourmet chef.

My Daughter is Broken

2010-04-13T20:30:00.001-04:00

Each night I nurse Quynh and rock her and put her in her crib around 7-7:30pm.

Then she wakes around 8 or 9pm (not long after we've rid ourselves of Tai). I rock her, or nurse her, or sing to her, and she falls asleep in my arms. Then I place her back in her crib. Often, just as she hits the mattress, she snaps awake and starts screaming. So I repeat the process until it "sticks."

It usually only sticks for an hour or so. By that time (1opm-ish?) I'm just about ready for bed, so my heart is no longer really in the fight to get her to stay in the crib. I usually try once more--nursing, rocking, etc., and place her in the crib. If she stays asleep, I hurry off to bed to get some rest before she wakes again. If she starts yelling, I give up and bring her to bed with me (where, inevitably, she falls immediately into a very sound sleep, without even nursing first). The girl just wants to be snuggled.

I can't really complain, because I'm pretty sure I "broke" her.

When Tai was a baby I read all the books and worried endlessly about his sleeping. I kicked him out of our bed at 5 months of age and worked tirelessly to make sure he could put himself to sleep (and back to sleep) in his own crib. There was a 2-week period when he'd wake at night and I committed to not taking him out of the crib, so I'd end up sleeping on the floor of his room, holding his hand through the crib slats so that he'd know I was there and be able to fall back asleep.

With Quynh I either don't care as much or just don't have it in me. When Baby Number Two starts crying at 9pm, not only am I more tired than I was during Tai's babyhood, but I also have to worry that she'll wake her brother if I let her "cry it out." But that's mostly an excuse. I'm just not able to let my babies cry. Never have been (hence the sleeping on Tai's floor for 2 weeks).

Everything started out the same. I kicked Quynh out of the bed at 5 months, putting her to sleep in her crib. But then I was all too happy to bring her into the bed when she woke to nurse. That first wake-up used to be at 2am. Then it was at midnight. Then at 10pm. And, now, it's at 8pm. There go my evenings.

The trouble all seems to have started when cold/flu season and teething hit at the same moment. When her wake-ups started coming earlier and more frequently I'd make endless excuses for her:

"She's sick this week and needs extra snuggles."

"She's all stuffy and needs to sleep in our bed, propped up on pillows."

"She's teething."

"She's teething again.

"She's still teething." (Where are the damn teeth?)

So now she's broken and I can't decide what to do. Part of me wants to "fix" her and part of me is just fine with the way things are. I mean, I get to *snuggle* a soft, warm baby all night long and I don't have to get out of bed when she wants to nurse! But I also no longer have the evening to myself and I fear getting up and taking a shower in the morning because I worry she'll wake and crawl right off my side of the bed (Minh is a very sound sleeper -- I have emerged from the shower to find him snoring and Quynh *standing* in the bed pawing at the paintings hanging above the headboard!)

I think we all know I probably won't do anything. I don't have it in me to let her cry, or sleep on her floor. And I'm not ready to run out and buy bed rails and declare us the official Family Bed type of folks. I'm going to keep blaming the teeth and hope it all works out. (And you can all laugh at me when I post again about the 3-year-old girl who won't sleep in her own bed.)

Squashed Imagination?

2010-04-01T08:00:00.004-04:00

So by now anyone who reads this knows that I have a relatively strict policy of Not Lying to My Kids. (The whole Santa Claus thing excepted.) But lately I'm wondering if I'm too literal in some of my answers to Tai's questions and if that might be squashing his imagination.

I started thinking this when we were at the mall last week and there was a (person dressed as the) Easter Bunny upon which kids could sit and have their picture taken. We walked over to watch and asked Tai if he wanted a turn. He shook his head and asked me, "Is it real?" I wasn't entirely sure what he meant. Is that a real rabbit? Is the Easter Bunny a real entity? (Not being religious, we don't talk much about Easter and had not decided whether to play up the Easter Bunny thing or not.) So I said, hesitantly, "I think it's a person, dressed up like .....er....The Easter Bunny"

Now don't get me wrong. Tai has a pretty great imagination. He makes up stories and all manner of pretend play. And when he tells me Emmit is sick it's not like I say, "That's impossible, Emmit is a stuffed animal." I'm not that literal. But what I don't tend to do is talk about fanciful things like fairies, ghosts, monsters, leprechauns, or the Easter Bunny.

So, Easter. We will be coloring eggs. I love a good Art Project. And we will be (coincidentally) having brunch with friends that day. Easter Basket full of candy? Easter egg hunt? Discussion of The Easter Bunny? Undecided. And time is running out.

NYC Part 2: The Kids Had a Blast

2010-03-30T08:00:00.012-04:00

Quynh:

While on Spring Break in NYC, Quynh learned to wave. While walking through Chinatown, she waved at anything and everything from her perch on Minh's back in the ergo. At dinner one night, the waiter came over and said hello to her. She stared back at him. Then, 30 seconds after he left, she waved emphatically in his direction. Waving? yes. Timing? not so much.

Quynh also realized, while on vacation, that diaper changes are a stupid boring waste of time and she won't stand for them anymore. Gone are the days when she'd be still for changes. And gone are the days of cute little wriggles -- feeble attempts to get away. This girl now means business and it takes 2 adults and a toddler to get her into her PJs at night. Oy.

Quynh enjoyed two swims in the hotel pool, though her pleasure was derived largely from the disturbing behavior of constantly trying to drink the (inexplicably) salty pool water. Yech.

While in NYC, Quynh had her first: scallops, dim sum, ice cream, and cheesecake. Not a bad haul.

Tai:

At the Bronx Zoo, Tai's refrain was "what's gonna be the next am-ma-mul?" The second we arrived at any animal, he asked what was next. This is in stark contrast to last September at the National Zoo, when he was content to look at the pigeons for 15 solid minutes.

The trip to the zoo did, however, mark a major milestone in Tai's life. He took his first ride on a carousel not sitting on the Lame Stationary Bench. Up until now he's always been afraid to ride on the horses. But this carousel wasn't horses. It was bugs--all manner of bugs. Tai asked to sit on a red ladybug, but they were immediately taken by all the little girls. So we had to settle for a white spotted beetle, which we assured him was just a different type of ladybug. This big step paid off, and he was brave enough to ride on a horse at the Central Park carousel the next day. This is awesome because Minh and I were sick of sitting on the damn bench.

Tai's impressions of Manhattan? "There's a lot of stairs in New York City!"

What was his favorite part of the trip? "The subway because it's loud and goes super-duper fast!" Clearly, he would have been content to ride the subway (standing, holding onto a pole, of course) for hours. Who needs to go to a museum? We could have entertained him all day for a mere $2 in subway fare.

We did, however, go to the Museum of Natural History with several of his buddies from school. The kids were interested in the exhibits for about....10 minutes. The rest of the time was spent on snacking, pottying, and jumping off benches while the adults were all too tired to intervene. Near the end of the museum trip, Tai started begging to go back to the hotel and nap. Sorry kid, the hotel is in Jersey and it took us an hour to make our way into the city this morning.

NYC Part 1: Country Mice Belong in the Country

2010-03-27T14:08:00.001-04:00

Minh and I hadn't been to The Big Apple in about 14 years. Needless to say. we were not the right people to be preparing Tai for the trip. Our first day in Manhattan Tai asked someone where we buy the tokens for the subway and was promptly laughed at and told that those were phased out in 1998. Whoops! Sorry, kid. Last time your Daddy and I were in Manhattan there were tokens.

One Day 2 Minh and I split from our Friends Who Know New York to venture out on our own and meet up with some old college friends who work in Manhattan. We needed to get ourselves from Central Park to Times Square and were told it was easy and would only take 15 minutes. Being a bit shy of taking the subway ourselves, we decided to take a cab. So we exited the park and found ourselves at a busy intersection. I walked to the edge of the sidewalk and tentatively waved my hand as if to say, "um...excuse me?....taxi? please?" After 10 minutes we decided this was not working. Maybe we needed a better corner? So we looked up our destination on our phones and decided to walk in that direction and continue to try to grab a cab. But then we saw that it was only 14 blocks, so we walked the whole way. This took more than the 15 minutes we had allotted and caused Tai to fall asleep in the stroller about 10 minutes before dinner, but we got there.

After dinner in Times Square we needed to get our butts all the way back to the hotel in Jersey. Gulp. We had our instructions. Take the A Train to 175th then get on the 186 bus. The friends we were dining with live all the way out in Queens, but graciously offered to walk us to the subway station. I accepted their help and told them they just needed to get us to the right station and we'd be fine from there. But when I asked them how we know whether to go "inbound or outbound" they decided then and there to accompany us all the way to the bus station. In the end, they went many miles and probably an hour out of their way to see us safely onto the 186 bus back to Jersey.

The only problem was we weren't sure where to get off the bus. I was goofing around with my phone, not paying any attention, when Minh said, "are you watching? we have to request the stop we want." Ugh, I looked out the window and didn't recognize anything, so we decided we'd already missed it. So we hit the stop request button and got off, somewhere in New Jersey, at 9pm. Certian that we'd missed our stop, we immediately did a 180 and started walking in the direction the bus had come from. I pulled up the hotel address on my phone and noticed (after 2 whole blocks) that we were going the wrong way. Apparently, we got off the bus a few stops too early. After that self-guided Walking Tour of Englewood, NJ, we made it back to the hotel by about 9:45pm. The next day we found ourselves on the 186 bus again. By this time we were seasoned travelers and it was daylight, so surely we'd get it right. That time we only got off 1 stop too early. We'd just about figured the whole bus thing out when it was time to head back home.

The Many Faces of Tai

2010-03-15T13:52:00.007-04:00

Pneumonia Tai

is feverish, uncomfortable, and pathetic
is given unlimited juice and television, and much pity
wakes at 4am unable to stop coughing and crying
but then "naps" from 10am to 3pm

Healthy Tai

refuses to brush his teeth
has learned to "sass" his parents, using the strongest language he knows. ("I'm really gonna open this door!" and "I'm never ever gonna go to bed!")
glances sideways at a parent as he yanks a toy out from under his sister, causing her to fall over
makes us miss Pneumonia Tai, just a bit

Daylight Savings Tai

comes out of his room every 7 minutes from tuck-in (8:30pm) until 10:15pm. (Note, Grey's Anatomy loses something when you have to pause it 9 times.)

Did I say I was looking forward to our trip to NYC? The one where the four of us all have to sleep in the same room (two to a bed) for three nights? I'm just glad Q's still nursing, because that's my excuse to sleep with her. She crowds me and she wakes 4 times a night, but at least she doesn't kick and spin around like a Toddler Sun Dial in the bed. Good luck, Minh.

NYC Will Never be the Same

2010-03-10T13:39:00.008-05:00

That's right, the Country Mice are packing their Costco Luggage with their poly-blend sweaters, $30 jeans, and sensible shoes, and heading to The Big City.

Luckily, we've roped some friends into being our Free Tour Guides, and we plan to meet up with some folks who live down there and know their way around. I'm now only slightly scared that my little family will get lost or separated. I'm much more scared by the thought of 3 days in a row with no nap. Not only is Tai unpleasant to be around when he's tired, but I worry that three days in a row will set some sort of precedent and he'll decide to give up his nap thereafter. Oh, the horror.

But, setting my anxiety aside for a moment, I'm very much looking forward to this trip. Tai is beyond excited because (a) we're going to see dinosaur bones, (b) we're going to the Bronx Zoo, and (c) the hotel has a pool! (I remember when, as a child, I didn't care if we were going to Idaho on vacation, as long as the hotel had a pool).

We'll actually be travelling with Tai's best friend and meeting up with two other buddies from school at the Museum of Natural History. What more could a kid ask for? This trip promises to provide education, entertainment, life-long memories, and (most importantly) fodder for some decent blog posts.

Low Energy Role Play

2010-02-15T19:51:00.004-05:00

This evening I suddenly realized why toy doctor's kits are so popular. It's not about alleviating your child's fear of the doctor or starting them on the path to a prestigious and lucrative career. It's about being able to play with your child while half-asleep on the couch.

Tonight after dinner, Tai asked me to lay down on the floor and asked me if anything hurt. I promptly presented with a severe headache and backache. For this, I was examined with a stethoscope, given an elbow x-ray, and had several vials of blood drawn from the tip of my finger. I milked it as long as I could before he moved on to the next activity, which involved me having to stand up.

But my acting skills are nothing compared to Minh's. He really takes his imaginative play seriously and is especially good at the persistent vegetative state.

Death.

2010-02-07T21:22:00.015-05:00

Tai's experience with death, thus far, has been limited to:

(a) Asking us to re-tell the story of our cat, Gorby, who died long before Tai was even conceived.
(b) Being told that my parents' dog, Taz, died and that they got a new dog named Cassie.
(c) Hearing that two of the fish in the tank at school died. And then meeting the replacement fish.

Friday we got word that our neighbors' dog, Red Dog, had passed away. On the way home from school Friday I gave Tai the news and we talked about drawing a picture for Red Dog's youngest owner (and Tai's friend), Lila, to make her feel better. Naturally, he had some questions.....

"Why did red Dog die?"
(Well, because he was old and sick and his body stopped working.)

"What is their dog's name now?"
(They don't have a new dog. Red Dog died last night and now they don't have a dog.)

"Was his tail moving?"
(No, once an animal dies it doesn't move anymore.)

"Why is Lila sad?"
(Because Red Dog died and she loved him. Wouldn't you be sad if Buttons died and then she wasn't here anymore?)

Oh Boy, this is where I went a little too far in my explanation and opened a huge can of worms.....

"Is Buttons going to die?"
(Yes, everything dies eventually. But Buttons is young and will probably live a long time.)

"And Smudge?"
(Yes, someday.)

"And Nibbies?"
(Yes.)

I watched the wheels turning behind his eyes and cringed as I waited for it.......

"And Quynh??"
(Ummmm........yes. But not for a very very long time.)

"And Me?????"
(Um yes. Again, not for a long time.)

"And you? And daddy?"
(Yup.)

"Who is going to live in our house when we are all dead?"

So, pretending that I did not just emotionally scar my child and cause him to live in constant fear of his own death, we went on with our afternoon. He painted Lila a picture and then we played and talked about the usual mundane stuff. When Minh came home, Tai made sure he heard the news about Red Dog. And then the topic of death was dropped, for a little while.

Just this evening, while attending a Super Bowl party at a friend's house, we were standing around the kitchen, eating guacamole and chicken wings, and chatting with several people whom we had just met. And then there was a lull in the adult conversation. So Tai filled it with:

"Someday I'm going to die."

Summer Olympics, here we come!

2010-02-04T20:30:00.001-05:00

All the cool kids take gymnastics lessons. Mine included.

Tai had his first gymnastics class this week and Minh and I were both bursting with pride (and shock) as Tai boldly walked into the gym, by himself, and took a spot in a circle of about 15 kids and 3 adults, none of whom he'd ever met before. "Who is this usually brave child?" we thought.

"Ohhhhh, that's more like it," we thought, when everyone in the circle stood up and started stretching and jumping around, while Tai sat open-mouthed on the floor and stared around the unfamiliar room. For 10 solid minutes.

After abstaining from the warm-up, Tai readily joined in the small group activities, which basically consisted of going through various little obstacle courses. (Crawl through a tunnel, go down a slide, hang from a bar, walk along a balance beam, etc).

The very first step in his very first activity? Do a somersault. "Oh no," I thought as I watched child after child (who were all older than Tai and who had all clearly been taking gymnastics since birth) do perfect somersaults down the wedge-of-cheese-shaped mat. Knowing that Tai cannot do a somersault, my anxiety mounted. Would he balk at even trying? Will there be tears if he tries and fails? Will the Russian judge be unfairly hard on him?

Watching all this through a window, we could not hear any of the conversation, but we saw Tai climb up to the top of the Cheese Mat and the teacher gesture to him to squat down and do a somersault. Mere seconds later the teacher realized who he was dealing with and decided he needed to give more hands-on help. With Tai squatting at the top of the mat, and the teacher's hands on his waist, I can only assume that the teacher verbally instructed Tai to tuck his head down and roll. And Tai promptly flopped onto his belly, legs sticking straight out behind him. The teacher, apparently, decided not to push the whole curl-up-into-a-ball component of somersaulting and just helped Tai flip down the mat, his body straight and stiff as a board. Clearly, Tai is already training for the roundoff-backhandspring-layout that will no doubt become his signature move by age 5.

The good news is, Tai had a really great time and can't wait to go back next week. This means I get to look forward to 12 more weeks of sitting in a crowded waiting room among seasoned parents who sit in the front row, blocking my view of my kid, while they do work or play with their iphones. Someday maybe I'll be that seasoned, but for now I'll enjoy watching Tai try his hand at gymnastics and hoping that he someday masters the back handspring, which I never did. Or at least a somersault.

Sleep Nursing

2010-01-22T12:00:00.001-05:00

Last night I woke up and found myself sitting in the glider in Quynh's room. I looked down to find Quynh draped precariously across my lap -- her mouth at my breast and her legs dangling down over my knees.

I had no idea what time it was, when I came into her room, or how long I'd been in there. The last thing I remembered was coming into her room sometime around 11pm.

I placed her back in her crib and stumbled back to my room to check the clock. It said 1:30am. Had I been in there since 11pm? Or had I mis-read the clock, and it really said 1am when I went in? Or had she woken at 11 and then again later, and I managed to get up and go to her without really waking up at all?

I wonder what else I do around the house in my sleep.... maybe I can put this new skill to good use and wake up tomorrow to find that I've folded all the laundry while snoozing.

Cultural Capital

2010-01-16T14:32:00.008-05:00

There are good reasons to let your kid watch TV. One of them is the 30 minutes of peace and quiet you get for yourself. But one of them is so your kid can keep up with the other kids at school. No one wants to have the kid who gets ridiculed for saying "Who's Elmo?"

Last week at day care pick-up Tai's good friend Natasha informed me that she was Judy Garland, Moe was the Tin Man, and Tai was the Lion. Upon hearing this, I turned to the teacher standing next to me and said, "I guess Natasha has seen that movie. Tai hasn't." She gave me a look that said no shit and recounted this story for me:

Natasha: I'm Judy Garland, who do you want to be?
Tai: The Gingerbread Man?
Natasha: No.
Tai: The Big Bad Wolf?
Natasha: No

Probably exasperated by this point, Natasha then assigned Tai to the role of the Lion. (What is she trying to imply about his personality?.....Oh wait, he is afraid of butterflies. Good casting, Natasha.)

Although he may have never seen the movie, he played along and payed close attention to who everyone was supposed to be. Later that night I recounted the story for Minh and when I mentioned that Natasha played the role of "Dorothy" Tai gave me a look that said, you have absolutely no clue and proceeded to correct me. "No, Mama! She was Judy Garland!"